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Paul Bryant's Reviews > The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman
The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman
by
I would like to dedicate the following old review to a much missed GR friend, Bird Brian, who appears as a character in my review. He provided us with many hours of free entertainment with his great rants against every possible aspect of capitalism and the American government. But 50% of him left when Amazon bought GR, and the rest of him disappeared when the censorship controversy splurged all over our heads. And now he is not here to excoriate all the bad people and discover all the conspiracies.
****
NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to "Just A Minute!"
THEME MUSIC
NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to welcome our many listeners, not only in this country but throughout the world. But also to welcome to the show this week four highly talented and individual players of this game. And once again they're going to show their invention, their verbal dexterity and their creative ingenuity as they speak on a subject that I give them for one minute, and they try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. And this week our four contestants are Manny Rayner, Bird Brian, Paul Bryant and Ian Graye. Please welcome all four of them! (Applause). And we start this week with Manny Rayner 鈥� Manny, the subject is Tristram Shandy. Tell us something about that Manny, without hesitation, repetition or deviation starting now.
MANNY : This is a novel written between 1759 and 1765 鈥�
BUZZZ!
NP : And Bird Brian has challenged. What is your challenge?
BB : Repetition of 鈥渟eventeen鈥�.
MR : But that鈥檚 part of the designation of the year鈥� 1953, 1954鈥�
NP : A harsh challenge but I鈥檓 going to have to agree with Brian 鈥� so BB you have a point and you have the subject of Tristram Shandy and there are 56 seconds left.
BB : Ironically, given that Tristram Shandy is the epitome of deviation and digression, we here are supposed to discuss it without ourselves digressing 鈥� if I remember rightly it has been filmed as A Cock and Bull Story which was directed by Michael Winterbottom who also did Welcome to Sarajevo 鈥�
BUZZ!
NP : And Paul Bryant has challenged.
PB : Well, it was all getting so terribly dull I thought I鈥檇 press this buzzer just to wake us up again.
NP : But what is your challenge? Dullness is allowed in this panel game.
PB : Well鈥� he deviated by going on about Sarajevo. I could see he was just trying to drag politics into it again.
NP : Well no, he only mentioned one other film, I don鈥檛 think that was really deviating from the subject. So Brian you have a point for an incorrect challenge and you continue with Tristram Shandy with 22 seconds left.
BB : Er 鈥�
BUZZ!
Ian Graye : Hesitation.
NP : Oh definitely. You have to keep going in this game, loquacity is the thing. So Ian you have 21 seconds left with Tristram Shandy.
IG : This has got to be one of the most brilliant, funniest and 鈥�
Buzz!
NP : Er 鈥� who challenged there? Manny?
MR : Deviation. I can鈥檛 understand his accent.
NP: What?
MR : He could be talking about anything , how would we know.
NP : Well, er, he does have an Australian accent, of course, but I thought he was perfectly comprehensible鈥� let鈥檚 ask the audience. Audience 鈥� can you understand Ian Graye?
Audience : Mooo!
PB : It鈥檚 hopeless asking that lot, they鈥檙e just a lot of sheep.
Audience : Moo! Mooo!
NP : So Ian that was a wrong challenge, you have a point and the subject is back with you, 19 seconds left for Tristram Shandy.
Ian : Here is a novel that parodies many of the cliches of later novelists before they became 鈥�
Buzz!
PB : Repetition.
NP : Repetition?
PB : Yes, repetition of 鈥渘ovel鈥�.
Ian : No, I said 鈥渘ovel鈥� and novelist鈥� 鈥� two different words, like 鈥渨ood鈥� and 鈥渢ree鈥�, or is your dictionary different to mine?
NP : Yes, he did you know.
BB : Quite so.
NP : So, another point for another wrong challenge and you have the subject back, Ian, 13 seconds starting now.
IG : When I was 鈥�
Buzz!
MR : Deviation 鈥� he鈥檚 talking about himself now, not Tristram Shandy.
NP : A very clever challenge! So you get a point for that and the subject back with you, 11 seconds for Tristram Shandy.
MR : The full title is The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, which gives Lawrence Sterne ample leeway to throw a in lot of rabbiting about anything. I haven鈥檛 actually read this book 鈥�
Buzz!
NP : And Paul Bryant has challenged.
PB : Deviation 鈥� if he hasn鈥檛 read it he can鈥檛 say anything about it and ought to leave it to those of us who have.
NP : Well that鈥檚 er frankly ridiculous, I haven鈥檛 climbed Mount Everest but I can talk about it, I know facts about Mount Everest.
PB : Now you鈥檙e deviating. What鈥檚 Mount Everest got to do with it?
NP : But I鈥檓 the chairman, I鈥檓 allowed to repeat and hesitate and deviate. I relish my deviant status.
PB : You鈥檙e in cahoots with him! 鈥� Infamy, infamy, they鈥檝e all got it infamy!
NP : Be that as it may, the subject is back with Manny and there are only three seconds left starting now.
Manny : I fully intend to read this wonderful volume at the earliest 鈥�
WHISTLE
NP : And the sound of the whistle beautifully blown by our producer Samantha indicates the end of that 鈥� strenuous 鈥� round. Manny gets a point for speaking as the whistle went, and I can now reveal that the situation is that he is our joint leader with Ian, Bird Brian is next, and Paul Bryant yet to score. So we begin Round Two and the subject is Why I Am So Grumpy and Paul, you can begin with that, starting now.
by
I would like to dedicate the following old review to a much missed GR friend, Bird Brian, who appears as a character in my review. He provided us with many hours of free entertainment with his great rants against every possible aspect of capitalism and the American government. But 50% of him left when Amazon bought GR, and the rest of him disappeared when the censorship controversy splurged all over our heads. And now he is not here to excoriate all the bad people and discover all the conspiracies.
****
NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to "Just A Minute!"
THEME MUSIC
NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to welcome our many listeners, not only in this country but throughout the world. But also to welcome to the show this week four highly talented and individual players of this game. And once again they're going to show their invention, their verbal dexterity and their creative ingenuity as they speak on a subject that I give them for one minute, and they try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. And this week our four contestants are Manny Rayner, Bird Brian, Paul Bryant and Ian Graye. Please welcome all four of them! (Applause). And we start this week with Manny Rayner 鈥� Manny, the subject is Tristram Shandy. Tell us something about that Manny, without hesitation, repetition or deviation starting now.
MANNY : This is a novel written between 1759 and 1765 鈥�
BUZZZ!
NP : And Bird Brian has challenged. What is your challenge?
BB : Repetition of 鈥渟eventeen鈥�.
MR : But that鈥檚 part of the designation of the year鈥� 1953, 1954鈥�
NP : A harsh challenge but I鈥檓 going to have to agree with Brian 鈥� so BB you have a point and you have the subject of Tristram Shandy and there are 56 seconds left.
BB : Ironically, given that Tristram Shandy is the epitome of deviation and digression, we here are supposed to discuss it without ourselves digressing 鈥� if I remember rightly it has been filmed as A Cock and Bull Story which was directed by Michael Winterbottom who also did Welcome to Sarajevo 鈥�
BUZZ!
NP : And Paul Bryant has challenged.
PB : Well, it was all getting so terribly dull I thought I鈥檇 press this buzzer just to wake us up again.
NP : But what is your challenge? Dullness is allowed in this panel game.
PB : Well鈥� he deviated by going on about Sarajevo. I could see he was just trying to drag politics into it again.
NP : Well no, he only mentioned one other film, I don鈥檛 think that was really deviating from the subject. So Brian you have a point for an incorrect challenge and you continue with Tristram Shandy with 22 seconds left.
BB : Er 鈥�
BUZZ!
Ian Graye : Hesitation.
NP : Oh definitely. You have to keep going in this game, loquacity is the thing. So Ian you have 21 seconds left with Tristram Shandy.
IG : This has got to be one of the most brilliant, funniest and 鈥�
Buzz!
NP : Er 鈥� who challenged there? Manny?
MR : Deviation. I can鈥檛 understand his accent.
NP: What?
MR : He could be talking about anything , how would we know.
NP : Well, er, he does have an Australian accent, of course, but I thought he was perfectly comprehensible鈥� let鈥檚 ask the audience. Audience 鈥� can you understand Ian Graye?
Audience : Mooo!
PB : It鈥檚 hopeless asking that lot, they鈥檙e just a lot of sheep.
Audience : Moo! Mooo!
NP : So Ian that was a wrong challenge, you have a point and the subject is back with you, 19 seconds left for Tristram Shandy.
Ian : Here is a novel that parodies many of the cliches of later novelists before they became 鈥�
Buzz!
PB : Repetition.
NP : Repetition?
PB : Yes, repetition of 鈥渘ovel鈥�.
Ian : No, I said 鈥渘ovel鈥� and novelist鈥� 鈥� two different words, like 鈥渨ood鈥� and 鈥渢ree鈥�, or is your dictionary different to mine?
NP : Yes, he did you know.
BB : Quite so.
NP : So, another point for another wrong challenge and you have the subject back, Ian, 13 seconds starting now.
IG : When I was 鈥�
Buzz!
MR : Deviation 鈥� he鈥檚 talking about himself now, not Tristram Shandy.
NP : A very clever challenge! So you get a point for that and the subject back with you, 11 seconds for Tristram Shandy.
MR : The full title is The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, which gives Lawrence Sterne ample leeway to throw a in lot of rabbiting about anything. I haven鈥檛 actually read this book 鈥�
Buzz!
NP : And Paul Bryant has challenged.
PB : Deviation 鈥� if he hasn鈥檛 read it he can鈥檛 say anything about it and ought to leave it to those of us who have.
NP : Well that鈥檚 er frankly ridiculous, I haven鈥檛 climbed Mount Everest but I can talk about it, I know facts about Mount Everest.
PB : Now you鈥檙e deviating. What鈥檚 Mount Everest got to do with it?
NP : But I鈥檓 the chairman, I鈥檓 allowed to repeat and hesitate and deviate. I relish my deviant status.
PB : You鈥檙e in cahoots with him! 鈥� Infamy, infamy, they鈥檝e all got it infamy!
NP : Be that as it may, the subject is back with Manny and there are only three seconds left starting now.
Manny : I fully intend to read this wonderful volume at the earliest 鈥�
WHISTLE
NP : And the sound of the whistle beautifully blown by our producer Samantha indicates the end of that 鈥� strenuous 鈥� round. Manny gets a point for speaking as the whistle went, and I can now reveal that the situation is that he is our joint leader with Ian, Bird Brian is next, and Paul Bryant yet to score. So we begin Round Two and the subject is Why I Am So Grumpy and Paul, you can begin with that, starting now.
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Comments Showing 1-50 of 59 (59 new)
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Kelly
(last edited Apr 24, 2008 11:42AM)
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Apr 24, 2008 11:06AM
I'm curious about your fairly neutral rating on this one. I've just started it, and the only thing that seems to be for sure is that when I bring it up to someone who has read it, I generally get a strong opinion either way. (Probably because it is something you have to dedicate time to, given its size and Olde English grammar/spelling.) Could you elaborate on your rating on this one? Just curious.
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Yes, two extremes in this book end up neutralising each other. First, it has my utmost admiration for being essentially a postmodern novel before there were even many novels at all. It's so self-referential and knowing and subversive of its own genre that it makes future would-be subverters like Paul Auster and Donald Barthelme and those guys seem like woebegone stragglers. So all that is very good. BUT alas, much of the book is taken up by fairly unfunny details about my uncle Toby and his obsessions about mediaeval siege warfare. So some of it is a real grind to get through. On a personal note my old friend Patrick is the curator of Shandy Hall near York where Sterne lived:
Ahhh. I see where the detractions could come in, then. I haven't gotten to those yet, but I will persevere as best I can through them. I've made it through some Tolstoy novels. It can't be that bad. :)That is so interesting that your friend curates that place though. I'd /love/ a job like that. I am jealous of him. It looks like such a charming little place, by the picture, so he seems to take good care of it!
Now you can tell me what challenges face the new Tolstoy reader... I have an idea I should have a go at War & Peace before I'm too old to lift it.
Well, you'll have to go to Tracy for War and Peace advice. I have never managed to finish it. I have read Anna Karenina and most of The Death of Ivan Illyich, though. I'd say the challenge is that you'll get about 2 pages of story followed by 15 pages of Tolstoy's thoughts/description of whatever issue he happens to feel is tangential to the story at that point. I.e.: he goes to a farm, guaranteed 15 pages of description about the place and the countryside, then 15 more about the system of farming in Russia and how its unfair to the workers, then a long soliloquy by character about the glories of working with the land as one of the people, and how great the peasants are. Then the counterview from another character.... so as you can imagine, it often takes awhile for the story to get anywhere.
Tee hee - this explains a lot. Thanks!!
thanks paul for your comments on the book.
This review seems a little focused and relevant considering that it's about Tristram Shandy. On the other hand, I appear as a character, so I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt.
Plus you appear to be in the lead.
That too! Really, it was an easy decision.
yes, it's a real show, and really funny too. I'm a fan!
Great review Paul, and I really cracked up at this PB: Well鈥� he deviated by going on about Sarajevo. I could see he was just trying to drag politics into it again. But what I am here to say is about War & Peace. I differ from Kelly on point that 2 pages of story followed by 15 pages of Tolstoy's thoughts/description but it happens such that 15 pages of Tolstoy's thoughts/description is followed by 2 pages of story. Tolstoy's thought are something like, they hold you by leg and say "I won't allow you to go further", but these (great)thoughts added to a great story give birth to a beautiful monstrosity called, W&P. I have read very few books but I have never come across philoshopy such as Tolstoy's. Its worth 1500 pages and all the time (1 or 2 months, in my case 6 months) it takes. You will face no challege in reading it, except it demands some commitment, attention and your precious time like a girl.
Maybe this should go in a comment on Kelly's review then?
I'm telling this to you because you said that you wanted to give W&P a try and asked for challenges that you may face, then why should it go in Kelly's review? :-I
ah yes, I forgot completely that we discuss W&P in the above comments... sorry... ! Now I remember!
My bad. I also didn't realised until now, that the comments above were posted in 2008 (4 years ago). Sorry to have bothered with you that old discussion. But still, are you going to read W&P or not? Its a good book to miss.
I've been accused of deviation before, but never on the basis of my accent. BTW, the Australian accent is the product of intelligent design rather than evolution.
I love this new format. The ticking clock adds an element of excitement. Having only 60 seconds to demonstrate your talents is something that I'm not used to, although occasionally I'm a spent force after that long.
Hi Nilesh - I might, I'm not ruling it out!
I just wanted to mention that BB said "digression" and "digressing" in the same sentence, so you should have buzzed him for that. Can I please please get a retrospective point, so that we can break the deadlock with Manny?
no, these are two different words, like novel and novelist. It's a tricky game.You still have all the other upcoming rounds in which to beat Manny. The show lasts for half an hour. Onward to round two...!
Oops, I just realised that I got a point for Manny's wrong challenge on exactly the same basis. I'd better withdraw my challenge, before you dock me a point.
Noooo, pleeaase, and mooo to the 14 sheep who voted for that irritating piece of grumpiness creation that you call a review. That certainly deepended my bad moooo d for the day.Moo, I say, moo!
I'm going to start spamming you with puns if you do more of that 'show'.
Re War and Peace. It is true that there's an inordinate amount of waffling and about a billion characters (how do you think he got the tome so thick?) ..but what i appreciate about it, is that it pushes a progression of opinions. Pierre, who seems to be the main protagonist, examines the meaning of life, and seems to think he has found it various times, only to be met with yet another progression.
Of course, Tolstoy himself, as an old man wandered away from home and collapsed at a train station, alone in the cold, to die a short while later from pneumonia.
Anyway, come to think of it, I don't think you'll enjoy his thoughts, Paul. Too mystical at the end for you, most certainly.
well, I thought a radio show based on the difficulty of avoiding hesitation, repetition and deviating from the subject was very appropriate as a format to review Tristram Shandy, so mooo! and yes, mooo! The real problem with long books is that I get impatient to write a review of them way way way before I've finished them. Long books = less reviewing fun.
Paul wrote: "The real problem with long books is that I get impatient to write a review of them way way way before I've finished them. Long books = less reviewing fun."I agree, but strangely I never had this problem before joining GR.
Traveller wrote: "Pierre, who seems to be the main protagonist, examines the meaning of life, and seems to think he has found it various times, only to be met with yet another progression."Why doesn't he cut to the chase and just give us the last meaning of life?
Tolstoy was thinking of a Twin Peaks-style tv show where things never get resolved, where each question leads only to more questions. He was the Russian David Lynch.
You'd better make sure your copy of W&P is wrapped in plastic.
Paul wrote: "Tolstoy was thinking of a Twin Peaks-style tv show where things never get resolved, where each question leads only to more questions. He was the Russian David Lynch."Yes, it does seem that way, but I think Pierre (and a few other characters, who also reflect on the meaning of life, especially count... err.. ok, I forgot the name :P) reflects Tolstoy's own personal searching.
I think he (Tolstoy) kept searching, and I'm not sure if he found it before he died.
Hoever, there is a reflection on the importance of living in the moment that I really appreciated in W & P.
Moo.
I tried to read this once but then after a short while and about 50 pages I went into a sort of coma and then when I awoke I realised that it felt like about 40 years had passed when in reality it was only about an hour. That is how this book made me feel.
I realised I should have added some photos of the participants in this panel game - even if it is a radio show it's nice to see what they all look like. I have rectified that omission.
Now Garima, why would you wish to spoil such a pleasant, harmless fantasy by injecting such a frosty blast of reality into he proceedings? Anyway, i am saving up fo the cosmetic surgery. It may take a long time.
Paul wrote: "Now Garima, why would you wish to spoil such a pleasant, harmless fantasy by injecting such a frosty blast of reality into he proceedings? Anyway, i am saving up fo the cosmetic surgery. It may tak..."haha..OR may be you're just a shave away from looking like those hunks.
But I immensely enjoyed this review. It's hilarious!
I am cow; hear me moo...This was moosic to my ears.
Richard, you are a moosaic to my eyes.
Ian wrote: "Richard, you are a moosaic to my eyes."I'm assuming that is a cow-pliment, Ian!
Your cowculated guess would be right.
Paul wrote: "Now you can tell me what challenges face the new Tolstoy reader... I have an idea I should have a go at War & Peace before I'm too old to lift it."Tolstoy's book is 300 pages of novel scattered across 1300 pages of print. It is interesting, but there is too much descriptive prose and not enough action and interaction.
Shovelmonkey1 wrote: "I tried to read this once but then after a short while and about 50 pages I went into a sort of coma and then when I awoke I realised that it felt like about 40 years had passed when in reality it ..."I think you may have been reading Rumpelstiltskin...
Paul, who does your hair? And how does she manage to give you the Brad Pitt look AND the Johnny Depp look with a single coiff? And does she charge double for the two looks?
Jim wrote: "Shovelmonkey1 wrote: "I tried to read this once but then after a short while and about 50 pages I went into a sort of coma and then when I awoke I realised that it felt like about 40 years had passed when in reality it was only about an hour. That is how this book made me feel."I think you may have been reading Rumpelstiltskin...
Paul, who does your hair? And how does she manage to give you the Brad Pitt look AND the Johnny Depp look with a single coiff? And does she charge double for the two looks?
Maybe SM1 was having the Winkle van Rip experience.
Probably the Brad/Johnny look means that your deppitt, er, debit card will be maxed out. You can't look that good without coiffing up the dough.
Richard wrote: "Maybe SM1 was having the Winkle van Rip experience..."Merde!! Well, right then, Rip van Winkleskin or Rumpelvan or whatever, she still fell asleep at the switch, so... ah, merde...
Richard wrote: "Probably the Brad/Johnny look means that your deppitt, er, debit card will be maxed out. You can't look that good without coiffing up the dough."Richard, does your head of hair leave your coiff fewer options?
Ian wrote: "Richard wrote: "Probably the Brad/Johnny look means that your deppitt, er, debit card will be maxed out. You can't look that good without coiffing up the dough."Richard, does your head of hair le..."
Ian, if you insist on such a bald statement of fact, you will make what little hair I have left turn graye.
Haha. No longer would you be black-bald.
You know what the great thing about the internet is? You can get on when you're totally drunk and comment on a stranger's totally hilarious review. This was great. Thanks for the copious giggles.
Hi Jeremy - likewise for me - where else could I foist my weird comedic fantasies on the entire universe?
But seriously, Paul. The four of you look so much better in GR life than pix. More of these webvised matches, I say.
Remarkable what the make-up team can do.
