Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

No Comfort for Old Men
[A Pastiche]

Eguchi's youngest daughter went through a difficult time over the last six months. Two men, including one who was ten years older than her, had proposed marriage to her. She had originally preferred the younger one, until she told him about the older man, and he got jealous, and forced himself on her. He had raped her, to all intents and purposes. She told all of this to her mother (who passed it on to Eguchi).

The youngest daughter decided to move out of home and share an apartment with a girlfriend. The day before she left, she told Eguchi that she wanted to make a new start. She wanted to get a new haircut. She planned to get her hair cut quite short, though not as short as a boy's.

Three months later, Eguchi's friends told him about the House of Sleeping Beauties, and he decided to visit it one night by himself. He was quite shy on his first visit. He was worried that he might seem like a pervert or a dirty old man.

The woman at the front desk put him at ease. She was a small woman, perhaps in her early fifties, though her skin was still very smooth. Her voice was calm and steady, confident and authoritative, without being overtly bossy. "You may not touch the sleeping girl, even if she awakes, and touches you first. Which she won't. So don't get your hopes up."

He nodded, as if to say that he would comply with her instruction.

She unlocked the door to the third room in the corridor, and pointed him to the double bed in the corner. The girl was under the sheets, and, as far as he could tell, already fast asleep. She was breathing heavily, but not snoring. The sleeping pills she had used must have been very effective. She was on the far side of the bed, facing the wall.

His heart started to beat faster when he saw her bare shoulder. He took off his clothes, folded them and placed them on the chair on his side of the bed. Then he slipped under the sheets, while managing not to touch the girl. He couldn't see her face or her breasts. He could only see the outline of her face from behind. She seemed to be beautiful, and what he could see of her face was well-structured and elegant. He wondered how many men, how many of his friends even, had spent the night with her, even if they had not touched her. He wondered whether she had ever woken up during the night, and been tempted to talk to a man or let him touch her, even though this would have been against the rules of the House of the Sleeping Beauties. She looked too young and innocent, as if she would have no interest in doing this. Still, that didn't mean that a man wouldn't try to take advantage of her.

Eguchi remembered that he was 67, which meant that he could not form the intention to abuse her, let alone try to do anything without her agreement. He quite simply did not have the strength, although there was no way of telling how strong the sleeping girl was.

He wondered how old she was. She didn't look like she was more than eighteen. Perhaps younger. Sixteen or so, he murmured to himself. Which would mean she was younger than his youngest daughter. He wondered what had motivated her to work in the House of Sleeping Beauties. He wondered if her father or mother knew what she was doing.

He went to sleep with a mere ten centimeters separating the two of them. When he awoke, he had no idea how long he had slept for, but he had a vivid recollection of a dream. In it, he had placed his right arm around the sleeping girl's waist. She had spoken without opening her eyes, "What are you doing?" He immediately removed his arm, and said, "Nothing, my dear." She didn't say anything or respond in any other way. Maybe she was dreaming. Maybe they had both been dreaming.

His friends, the ones who frequented the House, were men who could no longer use women as women. For them, to sleep with a beautiful girl was a fleeting consolation, a reward for the pursuit of the happiness of being alive that had long since vanished outside the House. Outside, they longed for death, inside they longed for life, even if they could look, but not touch.

While he was thinking these words, he realised that he had placed his hand on the girl's shoulder again. He was gently stroking her back. She didn't react. He wondered whether he could feel one of her breasts. He decided to try to roll her on to her back, so he could see her face. He placed his weight on his left elbow, and pulled on her shoulder. There was a little resistance, but it might have been involuntary. As she rolled over, he noticed that her eyes had opened momentarily but only as much as slits. When she settled on her back, her eyes closed totally,and all he could sense was her breathing. Now that he could see the whole of her face, he recoiled in horror, not because she was ugly or deformed, quite the contrary, she was beautiful. He was shocked, because the sleeping beauty was his youngest daughter.

VERSE:

Old Man [Take a Look at My Life]

This man feels ugly
When he makes a plaything of
A sleeping beauty.

Quietus

I took sleeping pills,
So I could sleep beside you.
I slept like the dead.

Into the Arms of Love
[From the story 'One Arm']

If the dew of woman
Would but come from
Between her long nails
And her fingertips.

A Ball of Yarn
[From the story 'Of Birds and Beasts']

Gazing at the birds later,
He saw that they were
Quite beautiful in sleep.
Each had its head
In the other's feathers.
The two were like a ball of yarn,
So intertwined that you could not
Distinguish one from the other.


SOUNDTRACK:
(view spoiler)[
The Smithereens - "Beauty and Sadness"



The Smithereens - "Behind the Wall of Sleep"



Yo La Tengo - "My Little Corner of the World"



REM - "Arms of Love"



Robyn Hitchcock - "Arms of Love"



(hide spoiler)]