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“You women have more holes than swiss cheese.”
― Charles Bukowski, Poems and Insults

“It takes just as much energy to be an asshole as it does to be kind.”
― LeVar Burton

“No, madam,' I said to the woman in my ESL English. "That's my mom. I came out her asshole and I love her very much. I am seven. Next year I will be eight. I'm doing fine."...
You believed, like many Vietnamese mothers, that to speak of female genitalia, especially between mothers adn sons, is considered taboo- so when talking about birth, you always mentioned that I had come out of your anus. You would playfully slap my head and say,'This huge noggin nearly tore up my asshole!”
― Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

“What you end up regretting is not the things you did, but the things you didn't do.”
― Tracy A. Malone

“Happy to say you passed the sobriety test. Sad to say you failed the asshole test.”
― Gena Showalter, The Harder You Fall

“Wanting to end my curse isn't the same as wanting to give in to an asshole. I don't care if god really did choose you. You're no worthier than any of the rest of us. No worthier than him.

We're all god's monsters.

All made in his goddamn image. If he wants his fucking world back . . . tell him to come down here and take it. If he's got the goddamn balls.”
― Jason Aaron, The Goddamned, Vol. 1: Before the Flood

“I am fully aware that when it comes to assholes, I have a special magnet, but I didn't think my radar was that far off.”
― Demetra Georgiou

“Some children are a bitch or an asshole in the making.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“I’m going to give you some advice: don’t be such a whiny asshole. It makes you look weak.”
― Mimi Jean Pamfiloff, Fugly

“If no one should not ask with you anything.
Then for what the fuck purpose you raised question with me..”
― Allan Bridjith

“He can’t breathe because he’s got asthma, whereas you’re just an asshole for no reason.”
― Shaun David Hutchinson, Feral Youth

“You got no business coming in here and playing the asshole.â€�
‘I am an asshole, Sully. We haven’t even scraped the surface yet.”
― Daniel Polansky, She Who Waits

“I didn't really expect you to have an appropriate response," Renaire says simply, taking a moment to tap ash off the tip of his cigarette. He'd hoped, yes, but never expected, not really. "I came to terms with the fact you're a possessive, self-important asshole with a superiority complex a long time ago."
"Somehow, that's reassuring," Delaurier says.”
― Luchia Dertien, Gnomon

“They all said the way to a man’s heart was through his asshole.”
― Edmund White, Our Young Man

“You've invaded my erotic dojo. For this your assholes will adorn my thunderous cock like jewelry!”
― Matt Fraction, Sex Criminals, Vol. 3: Three the Hard Way

“Because people are assholes," said Bear, dutifully keeping his head down. "Ninety percent of all problems are caused by people being assholes.”
― Becky Chambers

“So is this, like, dynamite?â€�
“It’s HMX compounded with three percent polymer-bonded explosive composite,� Cindy says �
“Did you say that all extra technical to make me feel like an asshole� Moon asks.
“M³¾-³ó³¾³¾³¾.&°ù»å±ç³Ü´Ç;
― Matt Wallace, Lustlocked

“Keep moving forward, the best way to let go off,asshole people holding you back”
― Napz Cherub Pellazo

“You're an asshole, you know that, Haller?"

I nodded and headed back to the door.

"When I need to be.”
― Michael Connelly, The Gods of Guilt

“We pushed it, but when the State Department says 'you're being a bunch of assholes' what are you going to do?”
― Joshua Hammer, The Bad-Ass Librarians of Timbuktu and Their Race to Save the World’s Most Precious Manuscripts

“The best way to avoid dicks: Don't be one.”
― Mark B. Borg Jr., Don't Be A Dick: Change Yourself, Change Your World

“I'm bad with names. Can I call you shithead?”
― Tracy A. Malone

“Everyone is destined to be an asshole as some point or another.”
― Will Bly, F*ck You, Santa!

“I can melt steel, fucker, I'll microwave your guts and punch them our your asshole.”
― Garth Ennis, The Boys, Volume 6: The Self-Preservation Society

“Check your privilege, Hitler! I'm a nut job, not an asshole.”
― Rick Remender, Tokyo Ghost, Vol. 2: Come Join Us

“Godzilla sized dick.”
― C.M. Stunich, Bad Nanny

“Often we have to remind our minds that the job of asshole is already taken.”
― Scott Stabile

“Am I an asshole?

In the past, I would have said "no" with some degree of confidence. But as I drop my bag of groceries into my bike pack under the store's front awning, I have to consider that the answer might have changed during the past few months.

They say misery loves company. I think I get it now. That back there with Marley--taunting her, I admit--that shit was the best part of my day. My week. My month. That shit was the rainbow in a fucking black and white film.

The outrage on her face... Goddamn. I fucking loved her angry, bright red face. When I turned to walk away, she looked mad enough to spit bullets. All over a fucking pack of pork chops. As I zip my bag, I press my lips together--to suppress a wicked chuckle.

Asshole.

I'm not sure I even mind it. Why not be an asshole? Nice guys come in last--another adage I'm starting to believe. I've played it nice my whole damn life, or fucking tried. Why not seek out entertainment now?”
― Ella James, The Plan

“In the jungles of Vietnam, we used to refer to what Mueller is doing as the Invasion of Cambodia. I'll explain it to you someday.”
― A.K. Kuykendall

“There are people who act like this...feel confident or secure, so they need to puff themselves up by acting like they know everything.!You're not cool,F.Y.I. you definitely don't know everything about the world A**HOLE...Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you!,remember this THE HIGHER YOU RISE THE HARDER YOU FALL.!RESPECT..”
― Napz Cherub Pellazo