欧宝娱乐

“A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week!
But I'll be darned if I know how the hellican?”
― Dixon Lanier Merritt

“There was an old bastard named Lenin
Who did two or three million men in.
That's a lot to have done in
But where he did one in
That old bastard Stalin did ten in.”
― Robert Conquest

“Nev tossed his pen down. 鈥淔ine. Here goes:

Ren and Cals lives may be torrid

for the young ones in Vail are quite horrid

Bine and Cos aren鈥檛 too frail

Dax and Fey never pale

while Ansel and Bryn might get sordid

Bryn spit Diet Coke all over the table. Mason and Ansel clapped. I was too dumbfounded to react.
This is qhat quiet Nev does in his spare time?
鈥溾€楤ine鈥�?鈥� Sabine frowned while Cosette mopped up the soda that flowed to their end of the table. 鈥淪ince when am I 鈥楤ine鈥�? And we never call Cosette 鈥楥os.鈥欌€�
鈥淚t鈥檚 about cadence,鈥� Nev said. 鈥淪orry. I said it wasn鈥檛 very good.鈥�
鈥淲hy aren鈥檛 you and Mason in it?鈥� Ansel asked.
鈥淥h, he has another one about us.鈥� Mason wiggled his eyebrows.”
― Andrea Cremer, Nightshade

“Watching you at work, I was reminded of the young lady of Natchez, whose clothes were all tatters and patches. In alluding to which, she would say, "Well, Ah itch, and wherever ah itches, Ah scratches.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Cocktail Time

“It was all kind of fuzzy, as if his mind was doing its thinking in limericks.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Per se, a prank is meant to thank.
Rethink and thank the soft spank.
And fill in the blank,
Not even over drank,
Knelt when they made you walk the plank.”
― Ana Claudia Antunes, ACross Tic

“Since my school days when I accidentally discovered this form of verse called 鈥楲imerick鈥�, I have often wondered about the origin of the name. Was it invented in Ireland perhaps? After some research and several years, I think not. The limerick must have been invented long before it reached the jocular pubs of Limerick in Ireland where the Irish undoubtedly made very good use of it whilst consuming copious amounts of Guinness.”
― Bernie Morris, An A - Z of Looney Limericks

“It was Edward Lear who created the original limerick, and is credited with A Book of Nonsense (1846). Apparently, he did this to amuse his clients鈥� children while they were waiting for their parents鈥� having portraits painted. Edward Lear was an artist first and a poet last. How strange then that we remember him mostly for limericks?
Since writing many of these little jocular verses, I have noticed a strange effect that keeps you reading: each time you read one limerick, you just cannot help reading the next, especially when they are nicely set out on a page. I am particularly proud of my lim-sagas, of which only two are contained in this book, but I consider them the best of my collection.”
― Bernie Morris, An A - Z of Looney Limericks

“It pains me to see how modern society has totally corrupted the limerick and given it the reputation of lewdness which, in turn, has morally barred our children from even taking a peek into this wonderful form of fun and rhythm. I think Edward Lear would turn in his grave if he knew that.
I have therefore decided to reinvent the limerick as it was originally intended: to poke fun, irreverence, just plain daftness, or erroneous behaviour.”
― Bernie Morris, An A - Z of Looney Limericks

“He took a step closer to me, the laughter still dancing on his face. 'Feeling better today?'

I mumbled some noncommittal response.

'Good,' he said, either ignoring or hiding his amusement. 'But just in case, I wanted to give you this,' he added, pulling some papers from his tunic and extending them to me.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I stared down at the three pieces of paper. It was a series of five-lined... poems. There were five of them altogether, and I began sweating at words I didn't recognise. It would take me an entire day just to figure out what these words meant.

'Before you bolt or start yelling...' he said, coming around to peer over my shoulder. If I'd dared, I could have leaned back into his chest. His breath warmed my neck, the shell of my ear.

He cleared his throat and read the first poem.

There once was a lady most beautiful
Spirited, if a little unusual
Her friends were few
But how the men did queue
But to all she gave a refusal.

My brows rose so high I thought they'd touch my hairline, and I turned, blinking at him, our breath mingling as he finished the poem with a smile.

Without waiting for my response, Tamlin took the papers and stepped a pace away to read the second poem, which wasn't nearly as polite as the first. By the time he read the third poem, my face was burning. Tamlin paused before he read the fourth, then handed me back the papers.

'Final word in the second and fourth line of each poem,' he said, jerking his chin toward the papers in my hands.

Unusual. Queue. I looked at the second poem. Slaying. Conflagration.

'These are-' I stared.

'Your list of words was too interesting to pass up. And not good for love poems at all.' When I lifted my brow in silent inquiry, he said, 'We had contests to see who could write the dirtiest limericks while I was living with my father's war-band by the border. I don't particularly enjoy losing, so I took it upon myself to become good at them.'

I didn't know how he'd remembered that long list I'd compiled- I didn't want to. Sensing I wasn't about to draw an arrow and shoot him, Tamlin took the papers and read the fifth poem, the dirtiest and foulest of them all.

When he finished, I tipped back my head and howled, my laughter like sunshine shattering age-hardened ice.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

“War is the status quo,
Peace is a political woe.
Up the creek without a paddle,
Better not rock those in the saddle,
Lest you are branded a stately foe!

If you still got the backbone,
To tell right from the wrong.
Grab the keys from savages,
Trash all prehistoric baggages!
Past tradition, stand just and strong.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Either Right or Human: 300 Limericks of Inclusion

“There once was a beautiful young woman from the city.
She told everyone that she did not believe in gravity.
She jumped off a cliff, and her body went stiff;
Because she still couldn鈥檛 fly, what a pity.”
― Robert Chad Canter, The Shadow Angel: Night of the Meta-Men

“A boy taking his dog to a park
Used public Wi-Fi at a landmark
The wifi was faked
Using it鈥檚 a mistake
Accounts getting leaked is no lark”
― Amanda-Jane Turner, Cybersecurity for everyone - demystifying cybercrime

“I don't know about Mars and Moon,
On my planet I am brakeless loon.
Exploiting dreams and hope,
when chimpanzees elope,
I stand grounded as an unbent boon.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Visvavictor: Kanima Akiyor Kainat

“Ominous though the night bring fright,
Disastrous though the day might strike.
Hand on chest, with spine unbent,
Reformer walks as ray of right.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Visvavictor: Kanima Akiyor Kainat

“Birds don't learn to fly, they just do.
I didn't learn to write, I just do.
Stop grovelling to authority,
embolden your curiosity,
All the answers lie dormant in you.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Visvavictor: Kanima Akiyor Kainat

“Awareness of power amplifies power,
It makes you braver, keener and wiser.
The wisdom bit is most important,
without which life gets dampened,
All you're left with is pointless power.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Sapionova: 200 Limericks for Students

“Ask questions nobody found sound,
Discover answers nobody has found.
Brain is the best laboratory,
with cutting-edge tools and faculty,
Brain used wisely makes the world go round.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Sapionova: 200 Limericks for Students

“You are never too broken to be fixed,
You are never too fixed to be broken.
Life is a dance between hurt and heal,
sometimes psycho, sometimes surreal,
To wake up to life you gotta be shaken.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Sapionova: 200 Limericks for Students

“Own your sorrow, own your tears -
Own your angst, own your fears.
These are not your enemy,
Use 'em to empower integrity.
We decide, they break or make us.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Sapionova: 200 Limericks for Students