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Kelly (and the Book Boar)'s Reviews > An American Marriage

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
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Let’s get real. That’s the reason everyone and their damn dog read this thing. Now that I’ve read it, I’m fairly certain that’s why many users rated it so high as well. I actively avoided it for months because I wasn’t quite sure if I was still a drinker of the Oprah Kool-Aid and wanted to maintain my fond memories of a bygone era. But then a co-worker told me about a podcast she listened to where Tayari Jones was interviewed and convinced me to add my name to the waiting list because she sounded so nice. There’s a good chance that she’s the nicest person in the universe . . . . but the characters she wrote about sure weren’t.

For me, it all boils down to . . . .

“Young people don’t respect the institution.�

While I don’t believe that is the case, the message that THESE YOUNG PEOPLE in particular didn’t respect the institution of marriage was broadcast loud and clear throughout the duration of this novel. As a woman who has been married for 22 years, let me tell you this story pissed me plum the fuck off. These people weren’t in an “American Marriage� � or if they were I’m declaring I want different categories because they didn’t even LIKE each other FFS. He was an overgrown manchild who screwed women on the side while vilifying his “little missus� for not being interested in getting knocked up on their honeymoon. She was so worried about losing herself to a man that she wouldn’t give ANY part of herself for the greater good of their union. Their “marriage� of a year and a half was full of lies and omissions and both of them sickened me.

I’m a person who LOVES reading about the underdog or the “bad� guy. I don’t shy away from vile characters � often times I even find myself cheering for them. But these people? Ugh. If this is what “real� people are like then let me stay in my bubble because I could just vomit. From giving up on her supposedly innocent husband nearly instantaneously (don’t argue semantics � just because she pretended to stay with him for two years doesn’t mean she didn’t move on with her life/career immediately), to falling into bed with her childhood friend (and again, this relationship had zero actual love that translated to the page � only convenience and a copout) to him having a one-night-stand with a woman the day he’s out of prison and then informing his wife that he could rape her if he wanted to when she dares to tell him he needs to use protection if they are going to have sex (while she’s supposedly engaged to her (and his � can’t forget they were college buddies) best pal). Again - vomit.

I don’t know this reviewer, but the first few lines of THIS REVIEW asks the questions I kept asking myself. The answer for me? My rating comes from how much I enjoyed a book � not for its literary merit. I LOATHED this book, its characters, the glossing over the trial/incarceration/appeal/etc., its jumping of the shark that somehow a man whose father ran out on his mother when he was but a baby somehow MAGICALLY ends up in not only the same penal institution (and don’t forget there’s roughly 2.3 MILLION PEOPLE currently incarcerated in the United States), but also winds up his cellie in some attempt at tragi-porn that never delivers ANNNNNNND the beyond the grave letter from his dearly departed mama. GTFOOH. It doesn’t matter that the writing was clearly good, the snippets of imprisonment left me wanting more of that story, the final showdown in the front yard FINALLY offered me something to believe in or Big Roy . . . . .

“When I look at Mr. Roy out there, at his wife’s grave, I feel like I’ve been playing at marriage. That I don’t know what it is to be committed.�

Oh Big Roy. You were nearly enough to make me change my mind, but I’m sticking to my guns and this solo star.

Nearly ALL of my friends loved this novel thoroughly. There’s a good chance you will too. After all, the power of Oprah compels you. And if you think I’m kidding about that, here’s a pic I took last night when my kid challenged me to a “minute to win it� type of event where I pulled all the Oprah books I could off the shelves while he timed me . . . . .

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Reading Progress

September 10, 2018 – Started Reading
September 10, 2018 – Shelved
September 12, 2018 – Shelved as: everyone-loved-it-but-me
September 12, 2018 – Shelved as: i-read-it-wrong
September 12, 2018 – Shelved as: liburrrrrry-book
September 12, 2018 – Shelved as: mc-i-want-to-punch-in-the-throat
September 12, 2018 – Shelved as: read-in-2018
September 12, 2018 – Shelved as: the-great-white-hype
September 12, 2018 – Shelved as: oprah-told-me-to
September 12, 2018 – Finished Reading
January 2, 2019 – Shelved as: book-of-the-month-selection

Comments Showing 1-39 of 39 (39 new)

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Krystin | TheF*ckingTwist I mean, I'm married but I definitely don't respect the institution of marriage if this is the definition of it that's correct. FUCK THAT.


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Krystin wrote: "I mean, I'm married but I definitely don't respect the institution of marriage if this is the definition of it that's correct. FUCK THAT."

I'll add your name to the list for the "please not like these people" marriage category : )


message 3: by Tracy (new) - added it

Tracy Sounds like this book is going to piss me off in a bad way :-(


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Tracy wrote: "Sounds like this book is going to piss me off in a bad way :-("

From everyone else's reviews, I'm pretty sure it was just me LOL.


message 5: by Tracy (new) - added it

Tracy Kelly (and the Book Boar) wrote: "Tracy wrote: "Sounds like this book is going to piss me off in a bad way :-("

From everyone else's reviews, I'm pretty sure it was just me LOL."


LOL, Probably will be my first read for January , so I'll let you know if you're still in the minority 😂


message 6: by Liz (new) - rated it 4 stars

Liz This has me wondering whether I should even try it. There are so many good books, but from what you wrote, I think I'd end up being disgusted by it too.


Optimist â™°King's Wenchâ™° Hard pass. Thanks for taking one for the team, Kelly.


Debbie Oh Kelly Kelly Kelly. I loved this book and am laughing at how we had such completely opposite reactions to it! Did we read the same book?? Because some of the stuff in your review didn’t sound familiar—I read it too many months ago! Anyway, loved loved loved your entertaining review. We can’t be in sync on every read, and your hatred of this one made for a hilarious review! P.s. that it’s an Oprah book is a strike against it; almost made me not read it.


Bill Ha ha ha I loved this book! Didn't even know it was an Oprah thing which proves (thankfully) I am not a pod in the Oprah Legion of Lemming Followers ... my love for this read is authentic (thankfully) :)


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Liz wrote: "This has me wondering whether I should even try it. There are so many good books, but from what you wrote, I think I'd end up being disgusted by it too."

I think you'll know right away. It didn't even take the "superbad" thing to happen before I disliked them : (


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Optimist ♰King's Wench� & MANTIES Champion wrote: "Hard pass. Thanks for taking one for the team, Kelly."

Yeah, I can honestly say I know you well enough that I don't think you'd like this one.


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Debbie wrote: "Oh Kelly Kelly Kelly. I loved this book and am laughing at how we had such completely opposite reactions to it! Did we read the same book?? Because some of the stuff in your review didn’t sound fam..."

I wish I had read the one you did! Thanks for the kind words - even though I read this one wrong ; )


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Bill wrote: "Ha ha ha I loved this book! Didn't even know it was an Oprah thing which proves (thankfully) I am not a pod in the Oprah Legion of Lemming Followers ... my love for this read is authentic (thankful..."

Oprah definitely served a purpose for me - particularly when I was a sleep deprived new mother. I could always count on the "Oprah" pick to be discounted and right at the checkout when I was buying diapers and Tylenol LOL.

While I've read some stinkers of her choosing (and quite a few on that stack I haven't read at all, but added to the hoard because I found them for a dollar or less), she has encouraged readers to not only partake in what must be her favorite genre of "tragiporn," but also classics like Ana Karenina or memoirs like Night.


Alissa Patrick thats a lot of Oprah books!! i need to get back to reading more. Any recs (obviously not this one lmao)


message 15: by Kelly (and the Book Boar) (last edited Sep 13, 2018 06:38AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Kelly (and the Book Boar) Alissa wrote: "thats a lot of Oprah books!! i need to get back to reading more. Any recs (obviously not this one lmao)"

Hahaha! The funny thing about this stack is I actually enjoyed the James Frey fraud book quite a bit. Shame it was presented as a "memoir" rather than fiction and got him in such a heap of trouble. I just checked out Bright Shiny Morning from the library the other day to give him another shot.

I liked Back Roads - chick lit meets hick lit : )


Zoeytron So much vomit . . . hee hee. I love it when you play coy and make us guess as to how you really felt about a book. I will agree that it is not a "plus" to me that Oprah recommends a particular book, I have expounded on that a time or two. At any rate, fabulously entertaining review, Kelly!


Eilonwy I missed this review when you posted it!

While I liked this lots better than you did, I can also agree with all your criticisms. Especially the one about Roy and Celestial not even liking each other. I was never convinced they had anything in common, either.

Not that I'm planning on rereading this in any foreseeable future, but if I do, I know I'll be looking at it with your critique in mind, since you make some really good points.


Autumn This book is overrated and infuriated me. I don’t understand why the rating is so high.


message 20: by Karla (new)

Karla Funny challenge! You have a cool kid :-) I won't read the book: I don't like Oprah, so I don't have to :-)


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Karla wrote: "Funny challenge! You have a cool kid :-) I won't read the book: I don't like Oprah, so I don't have to :-)"

I think Oprah had me brainwashed back in the 90s hahaha ; )


Vivienne Maybe being British I was immune to the power of Oprah. Great review


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Vivienne wrote: "Maybe being British I was immune to the power of Oprah. Great review"

You're lucky. Between her books and her list of favorite things she has definitely not helped my pocketbook ; )


Michelle Only Wants to Read I absolutely avoid any books recommended by Oprah. It's my silent rebellion against her Kool-Aid. I've only been tricked once with The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry (which I liked quite a bit, I hate to admit). Most of her recommendations are just over-hyped by her sycophants.

From that pile in the photo, I would make an exception to the Garcia Marquez book, because I have enjoyed his writing since childhood.


message 25: by Arne (new)

Arne Well, also Oprah recommended The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Which lead to the bizarre event of him, one of the most recluse authors in the US, going on Oprah's show for an interview.


message 26: by Michelle Only Wants to Read (last edited Jun 14, 2019 02:12PM) (new)

Michelle Only Wants to Read Arne wrote: "Well, also Oprah recommended The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Which lead to the bizarre event of him, one of the most recluse authors in the US, going on Oprah's show for an interview."

Fine, Arne! Yes, The Road is magnificent, and I didn't know about the interview with McCarthy. Maybe in the beginning, she was recommending good stuff. I'll be fair. I just think she has an agenda now (for quite a few years), and the books she recommends are not necessarily good, but they fit her motives. The books become instant best-sellers, not necessarily due to their real quality, but because people will say yes to anything she says.


message 27: by JanB (new) - rated it 3 stars

JanB Excellent review Kelly and I agree 100%. Great writing but the story...ugh


Monnie I did this one on audiobook and felt like it was a good book but I can definitely see your points as well. Ray is both very likable and very unlikable and Celestial to me is just not very likable. But the situation they were in was compelling enough for me to stick it out. The audiobook gave it a sense of immediacy and intimacy that possibly enhanced it over the written book. Thanks for an honest review!


Nayonika Roy I am almost about to finish this book and I have no idea why this book has such a high ratin? More than being boring, I find this book highly problematic!


RashidaReads Yes! This review nails it for me! I do not like Roy. Every time I want to feel bad for him he goes and says or does something that put me back at hating him.


Stevie Ciske I agree! What a lie to say this is an american marriage... Celestial didn't love anyone but herself. This was horrible.


Gabrielle ***standing ovation*** for your review. I just finished reading this and all I can say is that this is the first time in a VERRRRY long time that a book has actually made me angry.


Barbara I did not love the book. I didn't like the characters and I didn't think it was particularly good writing. I'm sure the plot has been explored more eloquently by other authors.


message 34: by Lara (new) - rated it 1 star

Lara Great review! I could not agree with you more- a marriage disaster


message 35: by Emma (new) - rated it 1 star

Emma Luise Totally agree! Also i wish the constant misogyny would’ve been commented on somehow because it seriously threw me off. Maybe this was the author sharing real experiences with Men and their views, but it just made Roy completely unlikeable.


Aj the Ravenous Reader I loathed it too, ate Kelly! And I practically share all your thoughts on the characters. Seriously. But I gave it more stars because for me, a book is good when either it makes me so happy or it makes me so angry. haha.


Kelly (and the Book Boar) I love that approach to rating!


Samantha Yep Roy views his entire marriage with Celeste from a paternalistic and misogynistic lens. He was completely unlikable (though maybe this was realistic). Their marriage seemed doomed from the beginning anyway so I wasn't mourning its loss. I was hoping they would just get divorced for the whole novel. I'm not sure why the author would choose a relationship like this to base a novel on.


Karly Loar Nailed it. Just finished and I agree with everything in this review!


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