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You forgot dicking around on goodreads perusing the 1 star reviews to avoid finishing Gone Girl. At least that's my procrastination method of choice. It was after page 67 when "Nick got home just after four, a bulb of beer and cigarettes and fried-egg odor attached to him, a placenta of stink" when I wrote this book off as a big steaming turd.

Shelley, you're a genius. And I often only trust one star reviews, because the positive reviews on books like this one are full of English written at a 9th grade level at best.

Mensa begs to differ on my genius. The one star reviews for books as hyped as this are so spot on. If I wanted to read a book about a miserable married couple, I'd re-read Revolutionary Road or chat up my co-worker who takes separate vacations from the husband. Those characters are miserable but the writing is a billion times better. I just found an interview that Flynn did about the book where she said part of the fun was choosing sides, team Amy or team Nick! How about neither since they're both clearly sociopaths.

I couldn't take sides. I was too bored by both of them.
Actually, I did find the whole concept of writers actually having jobs and offices until bloggers came along and put magazines out of business to be an Interesting bit in a pile of suckiness.

Just listened to the author interviewed on Guardian books podcast and she sounded a bit insufferable. She used to write for Entertainment Weekly so I was intrigued about how she transitioned into fiction. I think she likely gets away with a lot of not great writing because one wants the characters to meet gruesome ends because they are so unlikable. One thing the author said repeatedly throughout the interview is that she way way overwrites everything she does and this novel was no exception.

She probably transitioned into fiction by using her connections from Entertainment Weekly to find some sucker in the publishing industry to publish her piece of crap novels.

This is likely true. I would do the same. What strikes me is rhat this is a person who likely is channelling all the negative emotions she had about the people she had to write about...

She stated that she has five good friends that ahe has read different parts of the manuscript for feedback. She also stated that she created her own fake source material ( like mag articles the husband could have written) while she was writing. Wow. Intense. The writing looks really overdone from what i read of it.

People who have read this should read Mr.Peanut and only then decide if hers is the better portrait of dysfunctionality in a marriage.

This review says it best http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...

Nice! Well written! But as many have shown us, poor writer's craft at the sentence level is often a prerequisite for success in the bestseller world.

Of course. Majority of readers are morons. That's the audience you cater to: semi-literate types who proclaim some piece of garbage novel is "good because it made me cry."

Thing is that lurid dysfunction sells. I mean people should be shocked that Momma Kardashian's psychiatric assessment diagnosed her as histrionic and narcissistic? That is the issue I have with poorly written characters: they are cardboard portrayals of traits gleaned from the dsm-iv. But one is never tempted to reduce Madame Bovary or Anna Karenina to a set of dysfunctional traits because of the nuanced portrayal of their character by the author.

The difference between the author-genius and a two bit hack. I think The Kite Runner made it pretty clear. Garbage sells in America.

PT Barnum would agree and revel in your revelation!

La Petite Américaine wrote: "The difference between the author-genius and a two bit hack. I think The Kite Runner made it pretty clear. Garbage sells in America."
If this was facebook I would totally click 'like' for this comment. I LOVE your input.

Lol thanks, Aria. Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ so needs a like option! :)

Jason wrote: "Thing is that lurid dysfunction sells. I mean people should be shocked that Momma Kardashian's psychiatric assessment diagnosed her as histrionic and narcissistic? That is the issue I have with poo..."
I think thats because Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina really were not so much about human ailments but were the author's respective reactions and comments on their societies. Emma and Anna are in a sense symbolic and not to be ascribed the sentimentality of 3-demension that we typically assign to most characters. They are merely instruments and the embodiments of what was wrong with 19the Century provincial France and Imperial Russian aristocracy respectively.

La Petite Américaine wrote: "She probably transitioned into fiction by using her connections from Entertainment Weekly to find some sucker in the publishing industry to publish her piece of crap novels." Can we go back to trashing the anorexia lady? I miss those days :(

I know, I really miss being stalked by Harriet Brown's army of eating disorder crusaders. That was ever so amusing.

Know what separates Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina from ,well, just about every other character that has appeared in literature throughout mankind?

Talented writers.

La Petite Américaine wrote: "

Talented writers." True.

Did you complain about Americans loving crap and call Stephen King a "Master" in the same thread? Glass house.

Yes. I wrote "i'll drop all pretense" which would indicate that I know he's a pulp novelist. I also said I read him when I want to be scared, which would indicate that I don't read him for anything other than a cheap thrill. For a pulp, guilty pleasure horror novel, he IS the master.

Well, you've only grasped half of my point here. The "Master" is also the most popular writer in American history, so people must agree with you...He's pretty "hyped," no? Caters to "semi literate morons, yes?

Secondly, I'm not sure what "pretense" one needs to read or enjoy Gone Girl, which is (gasp) also a pulpy thriller (not a horror novel by any stretch, so I don't get why you'd bring up being scared). It's also a better book than anything King has written in the last 25 years at least.

Basically, I don't mind when people dislike or hate a book that I enjoyed, but I really dislike those who would disparage the intelligence level of readers who disagree with their opinion.Especially when those opinions are sort of silly : Men notice T&A, not the shape of a woman's head? Gee, you think? Think noticing the shape of a woman's head is weird? I wonder why that fact would be mentioned in a possible murder case, then... (as for the great difficulty with deciphering a sentence that starts with the name Go? Come on.)

That said, you love Suite Francaise, so you can't be all bad.

Someone bored at work on a Friday? You're thinking too much about this.

Well ok, I just read this on a beach vacation. While it was no great work of literature, I kept wanting to turn the pages to find out what horrors awaited these truly awful people. This is unusual for me because I've never gotten into a reality show, and I don't enjoy tabloids. I felt like the story turned and twisted in ways I didn't expect, and I never really knew what was happening. I also enjoyed how my sympathies kept shifting back and forth throughout the book. I couldn't trust any of the characters, and never knew whom (who?) to believe. I think that's what kept me interested - that and the fact that I read it on a tropical beach where a trash novel is exactly what I want :)

I do have a few gripes though. First, yes her grammar and punctuation were GOD AWFUL!!!! There were too many 3 word fragments masquerading as sentences, which made it choppy and annoying. And I hate it when authors throw in 50 cent SAT words when the rest of their structure is a mucky mess - I find it almost insulting. It was also over punctuated to high hell, barely a paragraph without parentheses, italics, and lots of other superfluous hyphens, commas and periods. Annoying.

Second, the ending was TERRIBLE!! So lank, dissatisfying, boring, and downright wimpy after all that high drama. If you're going to write a book like a bad opera, please please end it with something befitting. I was really hoping he'd kill the bitch and make it look like a suicide - then maybe take up with the twin in a sordid incestuous relationship (I mean c'mon, she was hinting at that the whole time right??). Or even a good ol' murder suicide. Maybe Go could've killed her? Or how about simply that Nick actually publishes his damning memoir, gets her thrown in prison, and thereby gets custody of his kid?? Totally milk toast ending, sucky and dissatisfying.

Side note - agreed my dear friend LPA on the confusing and annoying nickname "Go". Also I was bummed because I actually kind of liked her character is the book. Gillian did nothing with her, and completely dropped her towards the end. She was Nick's faithful little sidekick with absolutely no role of her own. Gillian really could've just made her a yappy Jack Russel terrier and they story wouldn't have changed much. Poor Go, Lol ...

So all in all, I'm not a hater. Pages kept turning, and I found it light and dark all at the same time. It was a fun roller coaster ride with a limp dick ending. Still a helluva lot better than anything from Oprah's book club ;)

Bad, bad writing.

I've got to agree with most of your review, but "Go was now pantomiming dick-slapping my wife."? Come on, that is literary gold!

Holy crap...you're right!

I thought I was the only one who hated reading any sentence with Go in it. I'm glad it wasn't just me.

Yes Thank God I'm not alone in my disproportionate hating of the 'Go' word. Really irritating. Just finished reviewing this myself. Nearly went with a two word review - Gone Book. Trashy and loathsome in equal measure.

I too disliked the name Go!

Did anyone read Flynn's first 2 books? Cuz Gone Girl isn't cutting it for me, but I loved Dark Places & Sharp Objects

I hate to leave a book that I start unread, but I had to force myself to finish this story about two really unlikeable people in an unlikeable situation. If you would like to read about narcissism have at it. Nothing to inspire or really interest. I thought it would be much more interesting.

I knew after I read this review that I shouldn't have read the book, but I'm a glutton for punishment and read it anyways. Huge mistake. I don't understand why this book is so hyped up. I'm not literary snob, I read historical fiction for crying out loud, but what was the value of this book?

None whatsoever.

I suspected this book wasn't my cuppa. Thanks for confirming that.

I thought it sounded fishy. Thanks for confirming before I wasted my precious reading time.

I love costing crap authors money :)

It's over a year since I read this, yet the loathing of Gone Girl is still a powerful beating force within me. Whenever I am reminded of it, I feel like Prometheus, doomed to return each day to the same agony.

That's hilarious! :)

Thanks LPA.

My wife dragged me to the movie. It was pretty good, actually. By good, I mean it kept my interest; most films don't. The book is NOT on my TBR list.

Out of curiosity, I checked out the library to see if Gone Girl was in their system. Found out they have 9 copies, and there are over a hundred people in line for these. Unreal! Maybe there is a hidden benefit to this book, after all: It gets people into librairies.

Wow! If it supports the libraries, then it does have a redeeming quality after all. Yay! :)

Thank God! I was thinking I was the only person in the world who HATED this book.

This is the funniest review, EVER

Exactly. I couldn't finish it because I just couldn't get into it. 1 star for sure. Such a sucky book.

I disagree. I enjoyed reading this book but I understand that not everyone is going yo like the same thing however, there is a way to express your feelings without being rude. Just saying.

Yes, that name ... "Go" ... the stupidest nicknaming or whatever in history.

Great review! I'm having that very same problem at the moment... Doing dishes, watering the plants, scooping the litter pan, reorganizing my closet, because I'm so bored by this stupid book. I doubt I'll finish it before it's due back at the library.