Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ

“Bigfoot was interviewed on The Patty Winters Show this morning and to my shock I found him surprisingly articulate and charming.”
― Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho

“It me birthday and nobody came...Bigfoot decide do something nice for self for big day and sneak in they house at night and pick out own present and blow out flickering candle of life in they brains. Make a wish, jerks.

”
― Graham Roumieu

“I partly base my financial decisions on the annual migratory patterns of Bigfoot, because maps are the new charts, as taught by the esteemed Ponce de Leon School of Beauty, Youth, Wealth, and Duck Farming, but what do you say to a man who wants to be his own cartographer?”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Give him Bigfoot with an AK-47, a room full of sugar-induced five-year-olds, or any supermodel on the circuit in a little black dress playing a private game of cops and robbers with his fly, and he’d be fine. Wouldn’t break a sweat. But, put him within fifty feet of Maddie Freemont? He turned into a tongue-tied, forgot-his-own-name, card-carrying member of the idiot brigade.”
― Kelly Moran, Under Pressure

“They vanished in the same forest without a trace. Not one of them was ever found or heard from again.'
'And you suspect what?' Scully asked. 'Bigfoot maybe?'
'Not likely,' Mulder answered deadpan. 'That's a lot of flannel to choke down. Even for Bigfoot.'
Scully sighed. She should have known better than to joke about Bigfoot to Mulder. Bigfoot wasn't a joke to him.”
― Les Martin, Darkness Falls

“It true, Bigfoot career been in hole lately. Bigfoot mania of the â€�70’s and â€�80’s but distant memory. I famous for ability to not be see but don’t think I not notice you not notice. I blame music television and internet. People too lazy and stupid to appreciate conceptual artist like Bigfoot who appeal is absence.”
― Graham Roumieu, Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir

“Humans are narcissists and we like a cryptid that resembles us. Sea monsters, globsters, out-of-place animals, the potentially not-extinct, and mythic beasts do not hold a candle to an ape-man.”
― Thomm Quackenbush, Holidays with Bigfoot

“Pensions and 401(k)s are just illusions, like Social Security. You're better off investing in Bigfoot Fur Coats—and I'm now selling all the newest interdimensional flavors.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“We were teenage ghost hunters, Ouija enthusiasts, and would have shouted after any Bigfoot who dared to show itself. Better to die becoming another spooky story for cable shows than miss learning an occult truth.”
― Thomm Quackenbush, Holidays with Bigfoot

“I’m now selling Duck-Soup Popsicles in vintage meatloaf colors. The flavor of 1991 has never looked so good while camping. Just ask Bigfoot.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“People always ask me, they say, “Jarod, what do you do with your money?â€� Well, I base my financial decisions on the annual migratory patterns of Bigfoot, because maps are the new charts, as taught by the esteemed Ponce de Leon School of Youth, Wealth, and Duck Farming. Next time you’re in St. Augustine, Fl, or here in The Ozarks, you should stop on by and learn to become your own cartographer.”
― Jarod Kintz, Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

“Adam delayed only a second longer before traversing into the uncertain future, crossing the hidden divide; the fabric separating worlds. He moved from the shadows that paralleled the town, where unseen lives existed alongside of unsuspecting, oblivious people. With his seemingly mundane act of taking one step forward, he effectively walked from myth to reality.”
― J.M. Northup, Revived

“I think most of the people in the area know about the native people’s legends and lore. There are definitely variations in their stories and each tribe has a slightly different description ofâ€� Sasquatch, but that’s no surprise when you consider how varied all animals are.”
― J.M. Northup, Revived

“To hear Camrose tell of it, as he often does and in excruciating detail, his early years were tantamount to a parallel Dickensian universe inasmuch as every meal was boiled down to gruel. (Please sir, I don’t want any more.) Whatever vegetables the commune were able to come by through barter, theft or scavenging â€� though oddly not from a community garden which no one had ever thought to plant â€� were tossed into a pot with a few heaping scoops of lentils and a handful of curry powder, then boiled down until thick and grayish brown. The resulting semi-solid porridge landed in the bowl with a wet thump reminiscent of raw liver smacking the floor and forced its way to the stomach with an angry lurch. Invalids fed through feeding tubes found more satisfaction in their daily bread than young Camrose.”
― Kingfisher Pink, The Whole Beast

“Yes, everyone know Bigfoot smell like shit. Please make effort not to point out every time you see Bigfoot. Thank you.”
― Graham Roumieu, Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir

“Wait," Connie said again. "A . . . what? Am I going to sparkle or something?"

"God, no," said Irwin and I together.”
― Jim Butcher, Side Jobs

“These animals are not disputed but “hidden.â€� It is an optimistic mission statement. It would be quixotic to seek gremlins that exist no further than storybooks. Bigfoot exists, along with Nessie and the Jersey Devil. Their formal discovery will happen tomorrow, or next week at the latest, and won’t you feel silly when they are?”
― Thomm Quackenbush, Holidays with Bigfoot

“Okay, so let’s talk about the E-word. You all know which word I mean. That pesky E-word that skeptics like my cousin Theodore just love to throw around to try to make the family cryptid enthusiast look like a total loser. That’s right. I’m talking about evidence.”
― Jacqueline E. Smith, Trashy Suspense Novel

“A Sasquatch-like creature. Those were their words, not mine. I didn't even know the word Sasquatch. Had I known the problems it would cause - just the suggestion I'd seen such a thing - I would have never opened my mouth about it.”
― Watt Key, Beast: Face-To-Face with the Florida Bigfoot

“Inexplicable by Stewart Stafford

I ran into Bigfoot,
Or John Paul Yeti,
Told me of aliens,
Found by SETI.

E.T.s kidnapped me,
And I lost two hours,
Hurts to sit down now,
They never sent flowers.

Nessie gives the hump,
Or is it a boat’s wake?
So proud to be Scottish,
Bagpipes in the loch/lake.

© Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“I'm a paranormal debunker. Kind of a well-known one. I have a website and everything.”
― Dez Schwartz, Believing Bigfoot

“You’re a detective? Really?â€�
“That’s what it says on the waistband of my underwear. Abe, lay one of our cards on the man.�
Abe already had a business card in his hand. He set it in the middle of the desk, oriented so McMahon could read it without touching it. “I’m Abe. That’s Duff. Forgive him. He was raised in the woods by a family of sasquatch, and not the cultured kind of sasquatch, either.�
“I miss my hairy momma.â€� Duff kissed his fist and pointed at the ceiling. “Skookum Valley ain’t the same without you, Mom!”
― Sean Patrick Little, Where Art Thou?

“You see, these creatures, theseâ€� Bigfootsâ€� as big and as strong as they areâ€� they’re also more intelligent than people. Do you know why?"
"Um, no. Why?" asked Carter.
"Because they fear God more than they fear man." Said James, his eyes filled with conviction.”
― Kyle Steel, The Siege at Simeon Heights: Bigfoot Fiction Thriller - Drama Novel - Family Adventure - Action Adventure - Sasquatch - Cryptid Suspense

“Clever girl, he thought, looking at her, purposefully taking his time, and slowly catching a whiff of the inebriating perfume of her long and wavy dark-brown hair. Her delicate scent reminisced of vanilla-infused hyacinth.
He smiled and, although he was greatly tempted to move to first base, he felt it might push things a bit too fast.”
― Kyle Steel, The Siege at Simeon Heights: Bigfoot Fiction Thriller - Drama Novel - Family Adventure - Action Adventure - Sasquatch - Cryptid Suspense

“Adorned in a cloak of long, matted, dark brown hair that shimmered under the gentle touch of rain, the Sasquatch intimidatingly stood its ground. Its chest and shoulders were reminiscent of a massive barrel, spanning well over four feet in width. Its legs, akin to large and sturdy tree trunks, exuded raw power. The creature's sheer muscularity and appearance were enough to render any man's nerves shaky. And sure enough, Carter felt his stomach queasy and his bladder on the verge of surrender.”
― Kyle Steel, The Siege at Simeon Heights: Bigfoot Fiction Thriller - Drama Novel - Family Adventure - Action Adventure - Sasquatch - Cryptid Suspense

“But the knocking continued, louder now, insistent.
Knock, knock, knock!
She turned, heart pounding, and looked towards the trees. There, in the darkness, she saw two sets of gleaming eyes, crimson orbs watching her with an intensity that sent a fresh wave of terror through her body.”
― Kyle Steel, The Siege at Simeon Heights: Bigfoot Fiction Thriller - Drama Novel - Family Adventure - Action Adventure - Sasquatch - Cryptid Suspense

“Flanked on both sides, the relentless pursuit of the creatures intensified, their rampage tearing through the forest with a destructive force. The deafening cacophony of snapping branches and splintering trees reverberated through the air, echoing like the collision of runaway locomotives, piercing their very souls with terror.
During the chaos, Ajax's presence remained steadfast. His strident barks kept reminding the family of his valiant presence as he kept up with the attackers. His resiliency to defend his family-pack resonated throughout the turmoil. God knows what they’ll do to him if they get theirâ€� hands on him, now thought Carter, fully admitting to himself that these were indeed Sasquatches—the dreaded Bigfoots of legend.”
― Kyle Steel, The Siege at Simeon Heights: Bigfoot Fiction Thriller - Drama Novel - Family Adventure - Action Adventure - Sasquatch - Cryptid Suspense

“As he stood at the edge of the forest, his nostrils were suddenly assaulted by an indescribable stench. The smell was like nothing he had ever encountered before—as if the air itself had been tainted by rot and decay. It reminded him of the times he had accidentally left meat out in the sun for too long, except a hundred times worse. His eyes began to water, and his stomach churned with nausea. He doubled over, gripping his stomach tightly as his body heaved uncontrollably. The acrid taste of bile rose up his throat and spilled out of his mouth, landing in a puddle on the ground in front of him.
There goes my morning coffee, thought Carter as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and gasped for fresh air.”
― Kyle Steel, The Siege at Simeon Heights: Bigfoot Fiction Thriller - Drama Novel - Family Adventure - Action Adventure - Sasquatch - Cryptid Suspense

“One can point to countless Sasquatches and their morphological kin, ghosts by the bushel, and aliens by the mothership load, but Gef existed just this once.”
― Thomm Quackenbush, The Curious Case of the Talking Mongoose

“Society has reached such extreme heights of absurdity, and massive depths of depravity, that I can no longer accurately distinguish between truth and satire. That line is as blurry as Bigfoot.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes