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“She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally irresponsible.â€�”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I held my bag open and he dropped Jenks inside.

"Hey!" the pixy protested, and then, "Tink's little pink dildo, Rache? Haven't you gotten rid of those condoms yet? They got a shelf life, you know.”
― Kim Harrison, The Undead Pool

“Stop hiding condoms in my stuff. It's like some twisted Easter egg hunt in there.”
― Alyxandra Harvey, Bleeding Hearts

“Condoms seemed to her inherently wicked. But they were also inherently funny. They were like rubber gloves with only one finger, and every time she saw one she had to be severe with herself or she’d get the giggles, a terrifying thought because the man might think you were laughing at him, at his dick, at its size, and that would be fatal.”
― Margaret Atwood, The Robber Bride

“A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“I remembered during puberty, through the anorexic mists of intermittent menstrual cycles, that man, my father, lifting Shirley's nightdress over her head and asking her in his mocking way to choose what colour condom she wanted. 'Red or yellow?' Which did she choose? I can't remember. Perhaps she alternated. Perhaps there were other colours. It didn't happen once. It happened again and again. I had no power to stop it. That man, my father, had some control over me. I was drugged by the black silence in that big house, the vile whiff of aftershave, the crushing torment of inevitability. My father fucked Shirley using red or yellow condoms and it was those condoms that brought it all to an end. It was my last realization of the day; any more would have been too much to contemplate.
That time when my mother had found used condoms in bedroom, he had admitted, after a pointless burst my father's of denial, that he had been going to prostitutes. That was no doubt true but I can't imagine clients take used condoms away with them; prostitutes would surely get rid of the things. No. My father kept those used condoms as a prize. He was fucking his fourteen-year-old-daughter. He was proud of it.
Rebecca welled up with tears. Poor thing, she kept saying. Poor thing.”
― Alice Jamieson, Today I'm Alice: Nine Personalities, One Tortured Mind

“AIDS would have claimed fewer lives if we had publicly recommended what I wish to call ‘The Presumption of Sickness,â€� i.e., the principle that whomever we are about to sleep with is HIV-positive until proven HIV-negative.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Having sex with a condom is like eating chocolate with the wrap on.”
― Ahmed Mostafa

“Safe sex is an act of self love.”
― Miya Yamanouchi, Embrace Your Sexual Self: A Practical Guide for Women

“Although every person makes mistakes, not every mistake makes a person.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Your generation has been the target of incredible disinformation on the subject of premarital sex, which is another enticing addictive behavior to be considered. In this instance, our own government is responsible for much of the confusion. For some thirty years, federal and state programs have promoted a concept its promoters call "safe sex," which refers to the use of condoms in sexual intercourse. Billions of dollars have been spent telling young people that they can have sex—lots of really good sex—without suffering from the consequences of it. Condoms, they say, will solve all the problems.”
― James C. Dobson, Life on the Edge: A Young Adult's Guide to a Meaningful Future

“Olsons P.I. 'Kenny Jones' as he approaches a barman in a notorious Bangkok Gay bar as part of an investigation -
'I was tempted to ask him if he had heard the one about the two condoms walking down Soi Rome when they see The Balcony Pub. One condom turns to the other and says ‘Let’s go in there and get shit-facedâ€� -”
― Warren Olson, All About Blackmail

“... I believe strongly in condoms. They avert babies and disease. They make you seem responsible, not slutty. They make the girl relax too, because you’re taking care of the risky part. Like you’re a professional. Roll it on, squeeze the tip, turn back to her, ready, set go. Like I’d just done a little disappearing act on myself and became something confident and wonderful. You can’t see through my latex disguise! You will love this so let’s get down! You don’t want to know how many times this worked in my favor.
God I feel like a fucking asshole sometimes. All the time, really.”
― Carrie Mesrobian, Sex & Violence

“Some women would not have contracted an STD or STDs had they not been on the pill.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with whom they want or wanted to have sex.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Some people have contracted HIV during their separate endeavours to give someone or some people a curable STD.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“So, a meaningful relationship. Dude, have fun, but wear a condom, that’s all I can say”
― Kenneth G. Eade

“Presumptuous because you bought the condoms or because you got the Magnum size?”
― carly phillips erika wilde

“We're not buying Sam's Club condoms,â€� said Owen. “Their trash bags don't even work.”
― Sarah Dunn, The Arrangement