Humour Life Quotes
Quotes tagged as "humour-life"
Showing 1-30 of 104
“She probably thinks the spiritual path is a new style of pavers available at Bunnings.”
― Call me Kismet
― Call me Kismet
“I'm at a certain age and a stage whereby I've met a good number of human beings, as well as many a dog. Thereby I've come to believe that almost all humans are scumbags. And all dogs are far better beings; and the chosen ones of God.”
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“I've a theory. Perhaps a dog should've bit us buttholes at birth. Thus a bit of its goodness could've entered our dark souls. We may have gained a dog's mirth. And so even after getting kicked, like the lovely being that is a dog, we may have forgiven each other. And made merry.”
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“The more time you waste when you're young, the sadder you'll be in your nursing home”
― Grace - A Funny Book For Women
― Grace - A Funny Book For Women

“È un periodo incasinato per tutti. Non che normalmente io sia molto più socievole, però prima mi sforzavo di mantenere quel minimo di gentilezza per non farmi pisciare nella casella delle lettere.”
― Zombie Friendly: Ci si vede all'inferno
― Zombie Friendly: Ci si vede all'inferno
“If dogs don't go to heaven, well then, from the yardstick of karma, so too did not your dear revered ancestors. And of course, dog damn it, you certainly won't.”
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“That’s why you couldn’t write my name down; you couldn’t smell it properly and you probably wouldn’t like the taste of it anyway."
Mays, Nicholas. Robert the Allotment Cat and Friends . LongWayRound Publishing. Kindle Edition.”
― Robert the Allotment Cat and Friends
Mays, Nicholas. Robert the Allotment Cat and Friends . LongWayRound Publishing. Kindle Edition.”
― Robert the Allotment Cat and Friends

“Always remember one thing, karma has always to choose the best one in the field of life to let u have the pleasure of all that u really deserve but the 'luck' is the thing - if u r lucky then u will deserve to have the luck but when it fails at somewhere, u pardon yourself saying that my luck wasn't with me. It's all the fate which decides.”
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“Later mum had a fridge magnet that said 'Dull women have immaculate homes”
― The Shepherd's Life: A People's History of the Lake District
― The Shepherd's Life: A People's History of the Lake District

“Everyday is a new day of life, everyday is new challenges of life for survival, this is example nothing is permanent in our life.”
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“I did what politicians do all the time: smile and act like I’m answering the question but really just talk about whatever the hell I feel like talking about”
― God is a Mortician
― God is a Mortician

“Some men need to realize that we have it a lot easier than women, especially those women with irritable bowel syndrome.”
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“A resident took offence at being woken up at the crack of afternoon by this noise (it was just after 1pm when the incident occurred).”
― Anti-Social: The Secret Diary of an Anti-Social Behaviour Officer
― Anti-Social: The Secret Diary of an Anti-Social Behaviour Officer

“Every age and stage of life has its jokes (usually laughing at other age groups and one’s own), its way of doing things, and its benefits.”
― Nanima: Spiritual Fiction
― Nanima: Spiritual Fiction

“Forse sapeva anche guidare bene, ma non voleva mostrarsi incoerente provandoci. Dio non voglia che poi gli fosse richiesto quotidianamente.”
― Zombie Friendly: Ci si vede all'inferno
― Zombie Friendly: Ci si vede all'inferno

“Normalmente non mi disinteresserei della morte altrui, anzi, sono le persone vive e sane il mio primo pensiero, seguito a ruota dagli zombie che però, c’Ã� da dirlo, se fanno schifo hanno un’ottima scusa.”
― Zombie Friendly: Ci si vede all'inferno
― Zombie Friendly: Ci si vede all'inferno

“Tuttavia oggi ho altro a cui pensare e la preoccupazione mi rende piuttosto apatico. Mi fosse toccato in sorte il narcisismo avrei vissuto benissimo, invece pare che debba provare pena per gli altri, anche se non mi piacciono. Mai una gioia.”
― Zombie Friendly: Ci si vede all'inferno
― Zombie Friendly: Ci si vede all'inferno

“Judith:
I didn’t want an ordinary life; I wanted more. I wanted to live by the sea, somewhere beautiful and wild, so I chose Cornwall, or did Cornwall choose me? I had only been there once in my life, but I had felt an instant magical connection, the rugged coastline pulled at my heartstrings, and the sea soothed my restless soul. It was the start of a love affair that I could not or would not ignore; all I had to do now was make these dreams come true.”
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I didn’t want an ordinary life; I wanted more. I wanted to live by the sea, somewhere beautiful and wild, so I chose Cornwall, or did Cornwall choose me? I had only been there once in my life, but I had felt an instant magical connection, the rugged coastline pulled at my heartstrings, and the sea soothed my restless soul. It was the start of a love affair that I could not or would not ignore; all I had to do now was make these dreams come true.”
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“I find dogs better than humans. I like them more, in fact. Is there something the matter with me? Could be. May be, at heart, I too am a dog. At least I am not inhumane like most humans. What say you, dawgs?”
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“THE BEST FEELING in the world is popping bubble wrap. The second-best feeling in the world is waking up at seven thirty a.m. as usual, realizing it’s Saturday, and diving back under the covers. The worst feeling in the world is sleeping through alarms, barking dogs, and possibly earthquakes to wake up at eight a.m.—and it’s Tuesday.”
― Heretics Anonymous
― Heretics Anonymous

“We believe most of the things just because we are compelled by our surroundings and folks to believe it.”
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“Have you seen a man's fangs? Try playfully biting his favorite ism. And not only will he show his teeth, but also his thirty two fangs.”
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“I prefer the company of my real godly dogs, as much as other people do their unreal illusory gods.”
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