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It would be easy to admire Sue Klebold for her courage in writing a Mother’s Reckoning. But having listened for the past few weeks to the audio version of Klebold’s book with rapt attention and a knotted stomach, I think it is probably more accurate to thank Klebold for openly sharing part of her journey in dealing with her son Dylan’s participation in the Columbine shootings. This book is heart wrenching and fascinating, but it very much feels like something Sue Klebold had to write for her own benefit, as part of her own healing process. She spends much of the book assuring her audience � and herself � that she was the best parent she could be. (In fact, at times I felt ashamed of some of my own parenting lapses in comparison with hers.) She also spends much of the book suggesting that all parents should be extremely vigilant about any signs of depression in their children and teenagers because Dylan had done a very good job of concealing his true state of mind right up to the date of the shootings. (This is an important message, but it certainly needs to be tempered with the realization that the vast majority of teenagers are not at risk of doing what Dylan did, or even of suicide.) In reality, it’s hard for me to figure out what lessons to draw from Klebold’s book. I read it with great interest and curiosity. I feel a lot of compassion for her. I think she does a tremendous job of expressing her experience of mourning, while paying due respect to the families of Dylan’s victims. It was obviously extremely important for her to write this book, and admirably she is giving all profits to mental health research. But I am left with the uncomfortable feeling that she is looking for some form of public salvation � through the lengthy reflections on her good parenting and on the efforts she has made since Columbine to be a good person despite the circumstances. I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the same if I found myself in her shoes. But at times this made Klebold’s book particularly painful. What was done can’t be undone. What was done can probably never be fully explained. And she is condemned to a life in which some people will always try to reassure themselves that their child would never do what Dylan did by blaming his parents in their parenting and for failing to see what was coming � no matter what Klebold has to say. I do hope for Klebold that writing this book has helped her find some peace. For the rest of us, her book provides a window into a special kind of hell � losing a child that the world views as a monster.

A note on the audio: Sue Klebold does the narration. She does a great job, and it certainly adds to the emotional punch of the book to hear her tell her story in her own voice.