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Sigh, where to start. First, I want to deeply discredit reviews that state this book is nothing but a mother making excuses for her son. It is actually the exact opposite of that, and at times, almost has nothing to do with her son, but more of raising awareness on suicide and mental health. (She actually calls it brain health and brain illness throughout her book, for a very smart reason. Mental refers to something intangible, and some experts believe that if we change the terminology from mental health to brain health, because the brain is something tangible that we KNOW needs attention, it could help people be more open to truths of mental/brain illness). Sue Klebold literally says countless times, I am not excusing what my son did, so for anyone to make claims that this was the tone of the book, either didn't read the book, or read so with a pre-disposed opinion of The Klebods and/or the Columbine tragedy.

I was so incredibly enlightened by this book. I honestly can't even say everything I need to say about it in this review, but I will try to keep my thoughts as un-scattered as possible. Hearing about the tragedy through her perspective was really hard. I cried for her and the loss of her son. I cried for the victims. I cried for myself, because as a parent, I may be in her shoes one day, ignoring signs that at the time, you had no idea were signs, of a depressed, suicidal child that you loved with all your heart and soul.

The classic "that could never happen to us/me" thought process, is a large part of why so many tragedies happen. No one ever thinks it can happen to them, until it does. We also use that viewpoint, to explain it away, and make ourselves feel better that we have nothing to worry about. There are so many mistakes in that way of thinking, as Sue meticulously explains in her book, with the help of experts, doctors, other victims of suicide/homicide children. This book is not just about what Sue Klebold felt in those first moments, days, weeks, months, and years after Columbine. It is her journey of understanding the part she played in Columbine, and learning about true brain health disorders, and what the rest of us can do, to be better than she was, as parents of teens and adolescents.

I listened to the audio book, so I cannot go back and reference some of the most pro founding statements of the book, however, I remember one line, that to me, is the most powerful and telling statement regarding her son's motives that day. "Eric went to school that day wanting to kill people, and didn't care if he died in the process. Dylan went to school that day wanting to die, and didn't care if others died in the process." This statement is so sad, when thinking of the Klebolds and Dylan specifically, in an isolated thought.

For most people, Eric & Dylan are the Columbine shooters, the killers. And for all intents and purposes, they are/were killers. But by reading this book, you will learn how truly different killers can be, and that while no one knows for sure if Columbine could have prevented, experts are almost positive, that Dylan's specific involvement, could have been. He was not the mastermind of the attack, and suffered from illnesses that created disillusions and even an alter-reality that he was living in the majority of the time, by the time April 20, 1999 rolled around.

Every parent, past or present, should read this book. Every person who has suffered a loss through suicide should read this book. Every person, should read this book. There is so much knowledge to be gained.

Thank you to Sue Klebold, for taking the time to learn and understand, and putting it in a platform for others to absorb some of the most important pieces of your journey. My son is only 3, but I feel incredibly grateful for having learned about tools I will undoubtedly use, as my son grows into young man.