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I was so disenchanted with Eclipse I wasn't excited for this read, but I had to know how it ends. I held off judgment in hopes that the conclusion would redeem the series. The verdict? Hard-to-swallow soap opera. A car crash you can't stop staring at in hopes that something salvageable comes out of the wreckage. But nothing does. So bad I started taking notes on all the plot holes because I couldn't keep track. What happened to the story that captured the hearts of girls everywhere?

You can't fall in love with your characters so much you save them from the dilemma you created: the impossibilities of vampire and human love, the instinctual need to destroy between vampires and werewolves, the girl who has to choose between two boys in opposing worlds, the boy who gets left out, the girl who has to make massive sacrifices for her choice. You can't save them from the plot by taking it all back and saying "never mind the rules I created, you can all have it all without giving anything up for it." When you do that, you take an exciting premise, take all the fire and excitement out, and ruin the story. As an author, you have a responsibility to your story, your characters, your fans, even yourself as a creator, to let the story be.

I recommend you write your own ending. Or better yet (since I'm not really a fan of fan fiction), take your book back and get your money back. If everyone does, maybe Meyer will pretend it was a big joke and rewrite a plausible ending to the saga. Maybe this time her editor (and copy editor) will actually read it. By the double-digit errors I found not even looking I doubt he/she did.

What I expected from this story:
1. The big dilemma. In Eclipse Meyer finally showed the downfall of vampire life. Bella has to give up her family, the potential of her own family, her friendship with Jacob, and the ease of human life out in the open. Most importantly she takes on the internal moral struggle of an instinct to kill, of being a monster. This is serious sacrifice and I wanted to see some soul searching, some grieving, some preparation for death from Bella.

2. Vampire sex. Vampire trying not to kill human sex. Newborn vampire with unquenchable passion sex. No harlequin romance graphic, but like Twilight explored kissing, exploring how they could possibly do that.

3. One scary newborn vampire. Murderous screaming during the transition after a bite from Edward to save her from death. The rage, the passion, the strength, and most importantly the thirst, the unquenchable thirst, that overpowers all that is human. I wanted to see Bella going after a human, preferably someone she knows, and have to be restrained. I wanted to see the true monster that is vampire take shape before learning to control the beast.

4. A good showdown. Eclipse robbed us of the vampire battle. I didn't care if it was the Volturi coming after Bella or the werewolves after Edward. I just wanted a good fight (from all the buildup to one) and I wanted people to die (because a battle without death isn't realistic), maybe even Jacob sacrificing for Bella. Isn't killing the vein of their existence? I expected some death.

But alas that is not the story. I think I may have to start denying I've ever read the Twilight saga. I was going to buy the boxed set if for nothing else for a pretty addition to my bookshelf, but now I'm truly embarrassed to have read the series.

The rest of my review has spoilers.
(view spoiler)[I'm calling wolf. This is not Jacob's story. This is Bella and Edward's story and Jacob is a distraction. I'm sorry that you like him too much to hurt him, but that doesn't mean you have to ruin the story for him, much less give him half the book. Making Bella still love him hurts them all, makes her self-centered, and Edward seem an indulgent parent with a whiny brat he can't say no to. It diminishes their love to volley back and forth. Everyone I love together? I don't buy it. Bella said goodbye to Jacob in Eclipse; leave it at that. Sacrifice for Edward. That's love.

Bella's treatment of Edward (and Jacob) is only as infuriating as his indulgence of it. His idea for resolution of her nudger (gag!) is ghastly. For a second I thought Meyer was going to go down that road and I was sickened. How in anyone's mind is offering your wife up to another man shows undying love is beyond me. It is sick and wrong. And how is insemination gross or worse that pimping her out? How can Bella never consider Edward's worry for her? She knows how she'd feel if he died. Bella seemed more like Wanda in The Host: trying to portray her as too kind which is just blindly selfish. She should have written The Host after and not confused the stories or writing style. The characters have wandered so far from their original shells that I couldn't branch this story to the magic of Twilight. Where were Edward and Bella? And the rest of the Cullens?

The way Meyer transfers Jacob from one obsession to another while not extreme to be pedophile is still creepy, much worse considering Jacob's comment about seeing Bella naked or that Bella's eyes caused the imprint. This is not a southern joke where your father is your uncle and your grandpa too. It doesn't excuse Bella's unhealthy possession of him and it doesn't smooth over the hatred with Edward. My brother, my son? Gag. His intrusion in the happy family of three was beyond grating. He doesn't get a say in how that child is raised. And is Renesmee seriously supposed to grow up and love a guy who raised her? That's disturbing. Why couldn't Jacob and Leah be happy together instead of Meyer making all of her relationships the older man with a young girl? The story was going that way, but Meyer had reserved this sick end for Jacob she found romantic so she forced it onto the story. Werewolf imprint on vampire hybrid? That makes no sense, especially after Leah's discussion about imprinting on the best mate to keep the race alive.

As much as I didn't like the extent Jacob was in the book, the other vampires were more disappointing. All the old albeit shallow side characters were replaced with a freak show. I thought this was a book about vampires not superheros? The abundant "rare" gifts got more ridiculous from one to the next--at least the original gifts connected to human traits. And the flaws. Alice's ineptitude at her visions was not consistent. Bella? Willpower? Bella's "holes" didn't make sense. How could Jasper affect her if she's that strong? Why couldn't Edward hear her inside her bubble? Everything about all these extra vampires was just wrong. Hundreds of vampires on a feeding frenzy without the Volturi reducing numbers didn't make sense. She should have stuck to developing the Cullens. And Bella. The second half was so out of character I couldn't take that disjointed leap with her.

I was so disappointed with the lengthy Volturi scene, the only thing with any hope of excitement that only built and tiringly built and then fizzled. These were the only vampires sold as creepy monsters and while their mafia-type support didn't make sense, I still expected them to act out the role. They didn't deliver. The story was so far gone by that point, I half expected the spawn of Satan (and by that I mean Renesmee) to destroy the Volturi alone. It seemed more "The Incredibles" than Bella and Edward at that point so why not a Jack-Jack ending? It didn't resolve anything and only put them in graver danger but she still shoved a happily ever after down our throats.

Vampires (dead humans with extra chromosomes?) don't have blood; they don't drink, pee, sweat, or have liquid in their bodies. Beyond the complications of sex for those reasons (which I wouldn't have questioned if that's as far as it went) or the likelihood of Rosemary's baby, don't turn the monster into an angel more werewolf than vampire. It's a confusing stretch. You know in soap operas where babies get in the way of the storyline so they magically grow up so the parents don't have to deal with childhood? Sacrifice is what gives you undying love for children; they are not convenient plot ideas. Nothing about that child made sense and I thought Nessie, considering its monster ties, was a vast improvement on a ridiculous name. And Edward Jacob for a boy is not sweet. It's obscenely selfish.

The point at which I started hating this book was when Bella didn't even act like a vampire. Not being a newborn vampire is not a gift, particularly for a vampire who needs a myriad of other gifts to save the story. It's an excuse to not have your characters suffer. But instead of making characters stronger, it weakens them. It robs them. It robs us of a good story. You can't soften that blow. Hiding the pain of the bite from Edward robbed him of a chance for compassion--something dependent Bella would not do. Turning to the person you love most in your worst hour is love, is what strengthens relationships. And how is Bella's human uterus so strong that only a vampire could cut through it with his teeth? That was about the biggest joke in the book.

Being a "soulless" newborn vampire isn't all Meyer cracked it up to be. If it were, they never would have let a strong newborn go hunting with only one guardian. Since Bella was so easily distracted from a thirst that didn't seem all that powerful, there should have been some good loving in that forest. Having the thirst that drives the series not phase her, diminishes its power and intrigue for all vampires, all the way back to Twilight. Being a vampire isn't torture; it's fun. I want to be a superhero vampire.

Sacrifice is what Bella knew she was undertaking when she picked Edward. But she gave up nothing. Everything is twisted for the sake of convenience: children, newborn desire, imprinting, human family, death, special gifts, a cast of new vampires, everything. Would a cop who detaches his daughter's battery so she doesn't sneak out plead "don't ask, don't tell" with the scary supernatural threatening his community and daughter? The only reason this bogus aspect is even in the story is because Meyer couldn't bare for Bella to lose anything. But if Edward, Bella, and Jacob are unrecognizable characters, why not Charlie? And if Charlie gets pulled into the story why not her mother? I'm sure Meyer could have come with an implausible excuse for her too.

Meyer tried to add plot twists, but couldn't commit to their consequences. With all the conflict removed for Bella, there is no drama so Meyer tries to create it with ill-placed childish mood swings. There are no monsters in the book. Vampires are sparkly happy supermodels. Werewolves are snuggly tame pets. Even the werewolf-vampire antagonism seems to have dissipated. The head-butting between Rosalie and Jacob seems more personality conflict than the innate drive to destroy each other. They all want to sit around the campfire and sing. Couldn't at least some Volturi sinister be burning in that fire? (hide spoiler)]

There is more to complain about, but I am out of room. In a nutshell: part one: strange, part two: disgusting, part three: dull. I'm appalled it has more stars than New Moon. I guess some girls care more about a happy story than a good one. I didn't buy the book and I still want my money back. I feel robbed. Not having the guts to finish what you started not only ruins this book, but previous installments too. I will give her this: she used a dictionary to add a few big words and she kept it clean. But I can't read her books anymore. And I wish I could wash this one out of system. The saga had such potential and she killed it.