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This book commences with Ruth, our narrator, chatting with three old girlfriends. All middle-aged, maybe a bit younger �� the writing was engaging, I settled in. Within four to five pages �� one friend said she saw Ruth’s daughter, Eleanor, recently. The circumstances of that sighting �� turned me on my head. From then on, I was strapped in for one incredible ride.

If anyone has ever been unfortunate to experience daughter or son-initiated estrangement, this book will resonate like no other. I can think of nothing else that has the capacity to leave one so powerless, so frustrated, so sad �� one’s confidence is ripped from your soul.

I never knew what I was allowed to think.



Eleanor floats into and out of Ruth’s life (more out than in). Ruth goes through what can only be described as ‘hell.��

Eleanor has a daughter, Lily. Leaving Lily with her mother is out of the question �� Ruth does what any grandparent would do. The relationship between Ruth and Lily, we follow, it is beautiful. Both characters created and developed by this author, Susie Boyt, are unforgettable, they will stay with me.

How can such beautiful people sprout from such misery?

This story broke my heart many times. This story also made me laugh �� and laugh hard.

What a writer Boyt is. What a talent.

The world was Eleanor’s widow �� you know the estranger, the child, or children who decide to (.......) their parent/s. They hold all the cards.

Please believe me, from experience, they DO hold all the cards. Un-fun fact - son or daughter initiated estrangements are on the rise. Interestingly, parents are reminded, told, ordered to respect our children's boundaries. That's what we call progress, perhaps? The whole estrangement thing causes damage.

The male characters here, are shadows. Mere puff.

I will no longer allow myself to be pilloried by the lack of her. I let go of her hand.

Ruth and Lily, the characters we follow for many years, will break your heart, you’ll cry and laugh. You will be surprised about the reserves of resilience ‘ordinary�� people can draw on.

”For Christ’s sake, Ruth, you need to think before you open your fucking mouth!.�� For mouth, I half-heard legs.

The sense that we understood each other, without having to say anything, that we know how to be careful, not anxious careful, just full of care, full of caring

Please read this book. It is my favourite of the year.

5 Stars

This was an accidental buddy read with Diane - how's that? Her wonderful review can be found here: /review/show...