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Duck Quotes
Quotes tagged as "duck"
Showing 181-210 of 581
“When a random phone rings, I like to duck and say, "If that's The Leader of The FREE World, I'm not here." I swim in water and quack the same way.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I play the saxophone like a duck quacks. Tickets are ONLY $19.95. Lessons sold separately. No assembly required.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“The best way to protect your ducks from predators like bobcats, foxes, and coyotes is to post up No Trespassing signs. Animals respect property rights, and would rather starve than violate man's law.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“To help my ducks improve their swimming ability, I remixed Mozart with whale sounds, and I pulse the music through their SplashTub. Snatch your tickets now, because they’re laced with catnip and going fast.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Why is it called a flight of stairs? It should be called The Pekin Duck of stairs, because it's the kind of flying that's composed entirely of walking.”
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Sometimes my kitchen sink doubles as a duck pond. Problem is, I can't exactly move my diving board, so I have to relocate Greg Louganis Hour to another slot, like one on the toaster.”
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“Everybody loves duck-soup-flavored ice cream. 10,000 hours of swimming go into each scoop!”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“It's too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany my newest masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you've got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it's now FOR SALE.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I play mini-golf like I shoot pool like I swim in it. That's also how I play the trombone, which is why it makes trumpet noises. For a saxophone-free duck quacking experience, try adding more water.”
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“People used to read books and watch movies. Now people read memes and tweets and watch GIFs. I'm currently writing something about ducks that I hope you'll say is an instant classic six seconds into the experience.”
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
― Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
“BearPaw Duck Farm is prepared for famine, and we actually sell Leather Soup. It's flavored like shoes from 1933, and if you close your eyes while you slurp, you can taste my great grandpa walking around in them.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I feel like I grossly overpaid for my grilled cheese at the restaurant. If I wanted a bread sandwich, I'd dress like a duck and go hang out by a lake.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I sell duck quotes in small, medium, and extra weird. But I’m all out of small and medium, so you can have the extra weird for FREE.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Rembrandt painted portraits, The Karate Kid painted fences, and I paint my ducks' beaks a brighter orange to boost sales. But I’m not a snob—I still consider those other two guys to also be artists.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I bought an aquarium for my ducks, because that's kind of how I dance. Lessons start at $19.83 and move on up to 1984 in a Boogaloo Orwell mix. There was too much electricity, so I had to unplug my moves from The Matrix. (Kneepads not included.)”
― One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
― One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
“Don't let the duck soup I made you get cold. It's frozen now, and on a stick, so you'd better lick it while it tastes like strawberries.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Trade your reliquary yellow metal for duck eggs today! Stop living in the archaic past and get rid of your stash of gold.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I knit a sweater for every duck here at BearPaw Duck Farm. Thankfully I don’t have any GiraffeDucks—flamingos, as they are known colloquially—because then each sweater would take me more than one episode of Murder, She Wrote to knit.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“At BearPaw Duck Farm, we want to help you lose weight by serving nothing but MoonPies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits, vegetables, and SwimmingBird Soup. The MoonPies taste fake, just like the 1969 Apollo Lunar Landing.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“At BearPaw Duck Farm, we don't like customer service, because we don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“The future is now, and every moment it's melting. Tomorrow is too late to learn how to swim like a duck. Makes more sense to microwave ice cream. I’m now selling Vanilla Soup, but you’d better buy it while it’s still cold.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I’d like to do a sketch comedy show with Steve Martin—the old Steve Martin, not the old Steve Martin. By that I mean the young Steve Martin, and not the new Steve Martin that we know today. Together we could sell lots of ducks.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“One time seven geese were walking towards me in a V, with the biggest Killer Duck marching point. They saw me as weak and moved to attack formation. But my Karate Hands were too knife-like to be an easy TV dinner.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“For those with a math allergy, my duck soup may contain Algebra. 2X=2, solve for X, may cause an extreme reaction. Ask your doctor if BearPaw Duck Farm's SwimmingBird Soup is right for you.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Look up BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm. We're in The Phone Book. I know, because I actually found a copy and scribbled our contact information inside. Business is about to go the way of NASA's 1986 Challenger rocket.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I'm a lot like a pillow salesman. I say that because I deal in ducks. So, I just push the product early and while they're still quacking.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Invention idea: Broccoli-flavored bubblegum. You know, for kids who won't eat their vegetables. Plus, it will make a great leftover snack when you're by the lake feeding ducks and you find some stuck underneath the park bench you're sitting on.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“Roller skating is dancing with wheels. I let the rhythm flow through my body like water through a duck. Watch where you step.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I dance like a rodeo tornado, and I make duck soup with extra feathers. To make it taste more authentic, you should try drinking it out of a dusty cowboy boot.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
“I'm a Starbucks coffee connoisseur. You know I'm an expert, because I can't distinguish between their java and muddy duck water.”
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
― BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight
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