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喔о复喔樴傅喔娻笝喔班浮喔脆笗喔｀箒喔ム赴喔堗腹喔囙箖喔堗竸喔�
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喔溹弗喔傕腑喔囙竵喔侧福喔勦箟喔權竸喔о箟喔侧笝喔掂箟喔涏福喔侧竵喔忇竸喔о覆喔∴笀喔｀复喔囙抚喙堗覆 喙佮浮喙夃箒喔曕箞喔覆喔娻傅喔炧竵喔侧福喔娻箞喔侧竾喙€喔娻箞喔權抚喔脆辅喔о竵喔｀福喔� 喔溹腹喙夃笡喔｀赴喔笟喔勦抚喔侧浮喔佮箟喔侧抚喔笝喙夃覆喔副喔權福喔膏箞喔囙箓喔｀笀喔權箤喙冟笝喔覆喔娻傅喔炧笝喔掂箟喔∴傅喔涪喔灌箞喙€喔炧傅喔⑧竾 15 喙€喔涏腑喔｀箤喙€喔嬥箛喔權笗喙屶箑喔椸箞喔侧笝喔编箟喔� 喔椸傅喙堗腑喔侧辅喔编涪喔о复喔娻覆喔勦抚喔侧浮喔｀腹喙夃競喔竾喔曕笝 喙冟笝喙€喔∴阜喙堗腑喔傅喔� 85 喙€喔涏腑喔｀箤喙€喔嬥箛喔權笗喙� 喔涏福喔班釜喔氞竸喔о覆喔∴竵喙夃覆喔о斧喔權箟喔� 喙€喔權阜喙堗腑喔囙浮喔侧笀喔侧竵喔勦抚喔侧浮喔覆喔∴覆喔｀笘喔椸傅喙堗笀喔班竸喔о笟喔勦父喔∴笀喔编竵喔｀竵喔ム競喔竾喔∴笝喔膏俯喔⑧箤喔阜喙堗笝喙� 喔∴傅喔氞父喔勦弗喔脆竵喔ム副喔佮俯喔撪赴喙佮弗喔班釜喔∴福喔｀笘喔犩覆喔炧釜喔赤斧喔｀副喔氞箑喔涏箛喔權斧喔编抚喔笝喙夃覆喔勦笝 喔權副喔氞竸喔｀副喙夃竾喙勦浮喙堗笘喙夃抚喔� 喔椸傅喙堗箑喔∴傅喔⑧競喔竾喔權副喔佮笜喔膏福喔佮复喔� 喔嬥付喙堗竾喔∴覆喙冟笝喔囙覆喔權箑喔ム傅喙夃涪喔� 喔犩覆喔⑧斧喔ム副喔囙箘喔斷箟喙€喔｀傅喔⑧笝喔堗笟喔弗喔编竵喔腹喔曕福 喔氞腑喔佮競喙夃覆喔炧箑喔堗箟喔侧抚喙堗覆 喔曕副喙夃竾喙佮笗喙堗笢喔编抚喔傕腑喔囙斧喔ム箞喔笝喙€喔弗喙堗覆喔權副喙夃笝喔ㄠ付喔佮俯喔侧抚喔脆笜喔掂笂喔權赴喔∴复喔曕福喙佮弗喔班笀喔灌竾喙冟笀喔勦笝喔權傅喙� 喔犩覆喔⑧箖喔權竸喔｀腑喔氞竸喔｀副喔о浮喔掂竸喔о覆喔∴福喔侧笟喔｀阜喙堗笝喔溹覆喔父喔佮涪喔脆箞喔囙競喔多箟喔�
360 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 1936
89138 people are currently reading
1265933 people want to read
About the author
Dale Carnegie
1,527听books8,749听followersDale Carnegie was an American writer and teacher of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. Born into poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), a bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948), Lincoln the Unknown (1932), and several other books.
One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's behavior towards them.
One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's behavior towards them.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 28,306 reviews
April 2, 2010
This book had a profound effect on me, however, of the negative variety. It did give me pointers on how to actually break out of my shell and "win friends" but in the long term, it did way more harm than good. Not the book per se, but my choice to follow the advice given there. The book basically tells you to be agreeable to everybody, find something to honestly like about them and compliment them on it, talk about their interests only and, practically, act like a people pleaser all the time.
It might sound like a harmless, or even attractive idea in theory, but choosing to apply it in your every day life can lead to dangerous results. Case in point: after being a smiley happy person with loads of friends for about a year, the unpleasant realization began to creep in, that by being so agreeable to everybody else, I rarely ever got my way. I also sustained friendships with people who were self-centered, so talking about their interests was all we got to do together, which drained me of my energy. The worst thing still, is that by trying to find something to like about every person, I completely disregarded their glaring faults. It didn't matter that those people did have redeeming qualities - they weren't redeeming enough! I ended up with a bunch of friends I didn't really want and, because I was so preoccupied with "winning" those friendships I missed out on the chance to form relationships with good people.
I suppose, for somebody who is a better judge of character, the principles outlined in this book *could* be of some value. But that's really just me trying to find something positive (using the "principles") in a book that I am still trying to UNlearn.
If you want to win friends, you have to do it the hard way, by being yourself and risking rejection (and daring to do some rejection of your own, as well). And if you want to influence people the only fair way to do it is through honesty. All the rest is manipulation and pretending. Do not read this book, you'll only learn how to manipulate yourself & others. Do not read it out of fear of rejection & low self-esteem, there are better ways to gain some courage in approaching people. This will harm you in the long run.
Thank you for reading this review.
It might sound like a harmless, or even attractive idea in theory, but choosing to apply it in your every day life can lead to dangerous results. Case in point: after being a smiley happy person with loads of friends for about a year, the unpleasant realization began to creep in, that by being so agreeable to everybody else, I rarely ever got my way. I also sustained friendships with people who were self-centered, so talking about their interests was all we got to do together, which drained me of my energy. The worst thing still, is that by trying to find something to like about every person, I completely disregarded their glaring faults. It didn't matter that those people did have redeeming qualities - they weren't redeeming enough! I ended up with a bunch of friends I didn't really want and, because I was so preoccupied with "winning" those friendships I missed out on the chance to form relationships with good people.
I suppose, for somebody who is a better judge of character, the principles outlined in this book *could* be of some value. But that's really just me trying to find something positive (using the "principles") in a book that I am still trying to UNlearn.
If you want to win friends, you have to do it the hard way, by being yourself and risking rejection (and daring to do some rejection of your own, as well). And if you want to influence people the only fair way to do it is through honesty. All the rest is manipulation and pretending. Do not read this book, you'll only learn how to manipulate yourself & others. Do not read it out of fear of rejection & low self-esteem, there are better ways to gain some courage in approaching people. This will harm you in the long run.
Thank you for reading this review.
April 25, 2007
Dale, saying people's names often when you're talking to them, Dale, doesn't make you popular, Dale, it makes you sound like a patronizing creep.
This book is probably really handy when you're trying to befriend kindergarteners, not as much adults. It's also aimed at salespeople and not regular humans.
This book is probably really handy when you're trying to befriend kindergarteners, not as much adults. It's also aimed at salespeople and not regular humans.
September 27, 2007
Three things about this book surprised me and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would.
One - it seemed pretty much timeless. Not much anachronism here, because language still serves the same purposes as ever, and people still want basically the same things they've always wanted. I liked the examples taken from Abe Lincoln, etc.
Two - the techniques described in the book aren't duplicitous. We all try to do what the title says, just like everyone else, whether we're admitting it to ourselves or not. Readers are repeatedly encouraged to develop genuine interest in others, be honest and ethical, and obey the golden rule.
Three - I enjoyed it (read twice back to back) and it felt easy and natural to apply some of the ideas in my life. Shortly after reading this book, I was a little bit better at communicating and a little bit happier about my interactions with others in general.
One - it seemed pretty much timeless. Not much anachronism here, because language still serves the same purposes as ever, and people still want basically the same things they've always wanted. I liked the examples taken from Abe Lincoln, etc.
Two - the techniques described in the book aren't duplicitous. We all try to do what the title says, just like everyone else, whether we're admitting it to ourselves or not. Readers are repeatedly encouraged to develop genuine interest in others, be honest and ethical, and obey the golden rule.
Three - I enjoyed it (read twice back to back) and it felt easy and natural to apply some of the ideas in my life. Shortly after reading this book, I was a little bit better at communicating and a little bit happier about my interactions with others in general.
October 2, 2013
This is a sad book. A book that aims to turn us into manipulating individuals who would want to achieve their means through flattery and other verbal-mental tricks. Even technically, it seems to me that the ploys' in this book would never really work.
Here is a quote from the book -
鈥淒on't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.鈥�
And what does the book do? It tries, or at least pretends to turn you into a someone who would flatter everything that moves 鈥� so that you get - WHAT YOU WANT.
Most of us read so that we are inspired, moved, even shocked or atleast entertained by stories. We also read so that we understand better and stretch the possibilities of our minds and hearts, to be better human beings. We definitely do not read to become conniving ugly creatures to be held prisoners by our greed. And come on get a grip 鈥� this is essentially a sales book.
Here is a quote from the book -
鈥淒on't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.鈥�
And what does the book do? It tries, or at least pretends to turn you into a someone who would flatter everything that moves 鈥� so that you get - WHAT YOU WANT.
Most of us read so that we are inspired, moved, even shocked or atleast entertained by stories. We also read so that we understand better and stretch the possibilities of our minds and hearts, to be better human beings. We definitely do not read to become conniving ugly creatures to be held prisoners by our greed. And come on get a grip 鈥� this is essentially a sales book.
October 3, 2018
I bought this one in 2004 from an Amsterdam bookstore and it has been laying on my bookshelves since then. It's an icon of self help books and that was a problem because I kind of hate that genre. I decided to get rid of this one as well but not without trying, at least, to see if there is anything of value in it. Well, I was surprised to read some sensible advice and I decided to actually read more. charming in their archaic ways.
So, the book wasn't total garbage. As I said above, it had some good advice about the subject of win friends and influence people although there was a lot of filler in order to make his principle into a book. Some examples were really interesting others a bit ridiculous.
One of the problems I had with the author and one I find too often in self-help books is the condescending tone, the ones that tells you how smart he is and that she is the only one capable to tell you how success is achieved.
It was an interesting read, I learn some useful skills but it isn't groundbreaking anymore in my opinion.
So, the book wasn't total garbage. As I said above, it had some good advice about the subject of win friends and influence people although there was a lot of filler in order to make his principle into a book. Some examples were really interesting others a bit ridiculous.
One of the problems I had with the author and one I find too often in self-help books is the condescending tone, the ones that tells you how smart he is and that she is the only one capable to tell you how success is achieved.
It was an interesting read, I learn some useful skills but it isn't groundbreaking anymore in my opinion.
February 24, 2014
This is the most boring, tedious, inane book I've ever read. It is a total of 236 pages but the essence could be boiled down to 12 at most. Every chapter, he has one point summarized in a neat box at the end. I skimmed the rest. He gives you six examples when one or two would do. He deliberately repeats himself. He wastes the readers' time.
Do yourself a favor and just read the "In a Nutshell" summary points at the end of each chapter. You won't miss anything.
Do yourself a favor and just read the "In a Nutshell" summary points at the end of each chapter. You won't miss anything.
February 22, 2017
When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
Dale Carnegie is a quintessentially American type. He is like George F. Babbitt come to life鈥攅xcept considerably smarter. And here he presents us with the Bible for the American secular religion: capitalism with a smile.
In a series of short chapters, Carnegie lays out a philosophy of human interaction. The tenets of this philosophy are very simple. People are selfish, prideful, and sensitive creatures. To get along with people you need to direct your actions towards their egos. To make people like you, compliment them, talk in terms of their wants, make them feel important, smile big, and remember their name. If you want to persuade somebody, don鈥檛 argue, and never contradict them; instead, be friendly, emphasize the things you agree on, get them to do most of the talking, and let them take credit for every bright idea.
The most common criticism lodged at this book is that it teaches manipulation, not genuine friendship. Well, I agree that this book doesn鈥檛 teach how to achieve genuine intimacy with people. A real friendship requires some self-expression, and self-expression is not part of Carnegie鈥檚 system. As another reviewer points out, if you use this mindset to try to get real friends, you鈥檒l end up in highly unsatisfying relationships. Good friends aren't like difficult customers; they are people you can argue with and vent to, people who you don't have to impress.
Nevertheless, I think it鈥檚 not accurate to say that Carnegie is teaching manipulation. Manipulation is when you get somebody to do something against their own interests; but Carnegie鈥檚 whole system is directed towards getting others to see that their self-interest is aligned with yours. This is what I meant by calling him the prophet of 鈥渃apitalism with a smile,鈥� since his philosophy is built on the notion that, most of the time, people can do business with each other that is mutually beneficial. He never advocates being duplicitous: 鈥淟et me repeat: The principles taught in this book will work only when they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.鈥�
Maybe what puts people off is his somewhat cynical view of human nature. He sees people as inherently selfish creatures who are obsessed with their own wants; egotists with a fragile sense of self-esteem: 鈥淧eople are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves鈥攎orning, noon and after dinner.鈥�
Well, maybe it's just because I am an American, but this conception of human nature feels quite accurate to me. Even the nicest people are absorbed with their own desires, troubles, and opinions. Indeed, the only reason that it鈥檚 easy to forget that other people are preoccupied with their own priorities is because we are so preoccupied with our own that it鈥檚 hard to imagine anyone thinks otherwise. The other day, for example, I ran into my neighbor, a wonderfully nice woman, who immediately proceeded to unload all her recent troubles on me while scarcely asking me a single question. This isn鈥檛 because she is bad or selfish, but because she鈥檚 human and wanted a listening ear. I don鈥檛 see anything wrong with it.
In any case, I think this book is worth reading just for its historical value. As one of the first and most successful examples of the self-help genre, it is an illuminating document. Already in this book, we have what I call 鈥淪elf-Help Miracle Stories鈥濃€攜ou know, the stories about somebody applying the lessons from this book and achieving a complete life turnaround. Although the author always insists the stories are real, the effect is often comical: 鈥淛im applied this lesson, and his customer was so happy he named his first-born son after him!鈥� 鈥淩ebecca impressed her boss so much that he wrote her a check for one million dollars on the spot!鈥� 鈥淔rank did such a good job at the meeting that one of his clients bought him a Ferrari, and another one offered him his daughter in marriage!鈥� (These are only slight exaggerations.)
Because of this book鈥檚 age, the writing is quaint and charming. Take, for example, this piece of advice on how to get the most out of the book: 鈥淢ake a lively game out of your learning by offering some friend a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.鈥� A lively game! How utterly delightful.
Probably this book would be far more effective if Carnegie included some exercises instead of focusing on anecdotes. But then again, it would be far less enjoyable reading in that case, since the anecdotes are told with such verve and pep (to quote Babbitt). And I think we could all use a little more pep in our lives.
October 2, 2008
It's considered corny to read books like this, but that kind of cynicism is ultimately limiting and counterproductive. My dad forced me to read this book and it was one of the main things that pushed me out of my shyness and made me an amicable person.
November 9, 2024
There's actually some pretty decent advice here that sort of stands the test of time.
But like most self-help books, a lot of the advice doesn't work in every situation and/or is just flat-out situational.
I also think the winning friends part of the book is less about having true friendships than about how to win over a room or how to convince people to see things your way. I wouldn't think that smiling and being agreeable, which is great on the surface and a good way to behave in general, would lend itself to creating strong intimate relationships.
Everyone (whether they admit it or not) likes to see a bit of piss and vinegar in the personalities of their friends and lovers.
My two favorite pieces of advice were these:
Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
The author points out that when you humiliate someone their first instinct is to double down and try to prove that whatever they did or are doing is valid. It doesn't matter how right you are, the vast majority of people don't respond to criticism well at all.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
So true. Even if you win, you lose because that person will (once again) be humiliated and not be receptive to what you are trying to do. You may be completely right, but you're just shooting yourself in the dick by getting into the pissing match to start with.
You can smugly be right, or you can swallow that pride and choose to get things done. If you want results, try to put yourself in the other person's place and use a softer hand. No one likes to be embarrassed.
Really the gist of everything this book talks about is just that you need to put yourself in the place of the person you need to win over. What do they want? <--probably recognition and compensation. What would they like to hear? <--praise over what they've done well will likely go a long way to smoothing over any hurt feelings when you discuss what you would like them to do differently.
It also talks about giving sincere compliments and just being the sort of person who de-escalates bad situations. However, as most people already know, it's impossible (and sort of stupid) to be that person all the time or in every situation. Obviously, there will be times that you need to put your foot down and be firm about what you want. I think this book is just saying that you should try the nice way first.
Now I listened to a revised version, so some of the situations presented were updated. I didn't realize this was what I had until Stevie Wonder and a computer company were both used as various examples for something or other. I was like...1930what?! I don't think so.
I would love-love to read the original text in all of its (I'm sure) outdated glory, but I suppose that will have to wait for another day.
I wasn't expecting to find this such a readable (listenable?) book, but I had no trouble getting through it at all.
Andrew Macmillian - Narrator
But like most self-help books, a lot of the advice doesn't work in every situation and/or is just flat-out situational.
I also think the winning friends part of the book is less about having true friendships than about how to win over a room or how to convince people to see things your way. I wouldn't think that smiling and being agreeable, which is great on the surface and a good way to behave in general, would lend itself to creating strong intimate relationships.
Everyone (whether they admit it or not) likes to see a bit of piss and vinegar in the personalities of their friends and lovers.
My two favorite pieces of advice were these:
Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
The author points out that when you humiliate someone their first instinct is to double down and try to prove that whatever they did or are doing is valid. It doesn't matter how right you are, the vast majority of people don't respond to criticism well at all.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
So true. Even if you win, you lose because that person will (once again) be humiliated and not be receptive to what you are trying to do. You may be completely right, but you're just shooting yourself in the dick by getting into the pissing match to start with.
You can smugly be right, or you can swallow that pride and choose to get things done. If you want results, try to put yourself in the other person's place and use a softer hand. No one likes to be embarrassed.
Really the gist of everything this book talks about is just that you need to put yourself in the place of the person you need to win over. What do they want? <--probably recognition and compensation. What would they like to hear? <--praise over what they've done well will likely go a long way to smoothing over any hurt feelings when you discuss what you would like them to do differently.
It also talks about giving sincere compliments and just being the sort of person who de-escalates bad situations. However, as most people already know, it's impossible (and sort of stupid) to be that person all the time or in every situation. Obviously, there will be times that you need to put your foot down and be firm about what you want. I think this book is just saying that you should try the nice way first.
Now I listened to a revised version, so some of the situations presented were updated. I didn't realize this was what I had until Stevie Wonder and a computer company were both used as various examples for something or other. I was like...1930what?! I don't think so.
I would love-love to read the original text in all of its (I'm sure) outdated glory, but I suppose that will have to wait for another day.
I wasn't expecting to find this such a readable (listenable?) book, but I had no trouble getting through it at all.
Andrew Macmillian - Narrator
December 5, 2021
Easy to understand advice for building and improving positive and successful relationships with people in all areas of your life. Not a book per se for making friends, although it certainly can be used that way (with a grain of salt perhaps), but more directly a book that promotes good communication, kindness, and the social skills to foster healthy and productive working relationships.
I can see how some people are taken aback by Carnegie鈥檚 advice. You have to be in the right frame of mind to truly gain from this book. Go into it with a reflective approach and a genuine and concentrated effort to gain wisdom and you will be rewarded with the insights to achieve the goodwill of others as well as solid and lasting relationships.
I can see how some people are taken aback by Carnegie鈥檚 advice. You have to be in the right frame of mind to truly gain from this book. Go into it with a reflective approach and a genuine and concentrated effort to gain wisdom and you will be rewarded with the insights to achieve the goodwill of others as well as solid and lasting relationships.
July 20, 2023
1 猸�
Holy hell! Give it a rest, Dale!
(H)Why, oh hwhy, did I read this?! Carnegie鈥檚 principles display, boldly, the many wrinkles of their age but it鈥檚 not only that; it鈥檚 very hard to believe that this book/course was ever considered useful information, nay, even anything beyond laughable, by any self-respecting individual!
To summarise a few select points:
1. Remember, and relentlessly repeat, the victim鈥檚 name during conversation. That sweet, sweet nectar that is one鈥檚 own name will have them eating out of the palm of your hand.
2. Smile. Preferably a manic, unnerving smile with cheeks quivering and teeth buckling under 1200psi of clench. Hold this smile throughout entire conversation, even hwhile talking. People love a smile!!
3. Shut your piehole! For the love of god NEVER, under any circumstances, talk about something you鈥檙e interested in! Speak only of the other person鈥檚 interests as if it were the most fascinating thing you鈥檝e ever heard... And do it 鈥済enuinely鈥� damn it! Oh, and make them feel really important; lay it on thick, y鈥檏now?! 鈥淥h, you鈥檙e a woodworking hobbiest and you personally made your office desk from American Hwhite Oak?! Oh Stan, you鈥檙e an absolute marvel!! Do take up the next 3.5 hours of my time discussing the finer details of this thrilling pastime, Stan!鈥� or 鈥淗AHAHAHA! *maintaining manic smile* Oh Barry, you are literally the funniest and most important person I鈥檝e spoken to in years, Barry! You mean to tell me, Barry, that hwhen it鈥檚 a bit quiet in here you just sit and watch all manner of marvelously funny cat videos on youtube?! Splendid! Oh, another? sure I鈥檝e got time! HWhat could be more pressing?! This is just great, you鈥檙e great Barry!鈥� Oh, and obviously make sure you do all of this sincerely, we鈥檙e not just trying to superficially flatter people here, c鈥檓on whattya take me for?!
4. If you鈥檙e wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically!... Hell, even if you know for sure that you鈥檙e not wrong, it couldn鈥檛 hurt to act like you might be.
5. Dramatize your ideas. If you sell, say, cash registers for example. Next time you go into the neighborhood grocery store, randomly point out to the owner how positively shit his current cash registers are and explain that he is literally hemorrhaging cash every time he uses them instead of your superior product. Don鈥檛 just tell him though, raise your voice and make a scene. Begin throwing coins on the floor and then at the cashier screaming, 鈥淐an鈥檛 you see you鈥檙e literally throwing away money, Gary?!!鈥�. Always use the name Gary, even if you know full well that鈥檚 not his/her name.
Self-serving, underhanded and insincere! You can smell the Carnegie training on furniture and used car salesmen from a mile away. Carnegie courses must鈥檝e been like factories churning out greasy, mass-produced slimeballs whose false kindness and counterfeit smiles, rather than achieving the desired level of endearment, come across passive aggressive and condescending to any moderately discerning conversationalist. Just repeatedly, and self-righteously, claiming that you are honest, sincere and most definitely NOT advocating a bag of cheap and flattering tricks, doesn鈥檛 make it so... Though, evidently, it does make you rich!
Holy hell! Give it a rest, Dale!
(H)Why, oh hwhy, did I read this?! Carnegie鈥檚 principles display, boldly, the many wrinkles of their age but it鈥檚 not only that; it鈥檚 very hard to believe that this book/course was ever considered useful information, nay, even anything beyond laughable, by any self-respecting individual!
To summarise a few select points:
1. Remember, and relentlessly repeat, the victim鈥檚 name during conversation. That sweet, sweet nectar that is one鈥檚 own name will have them eating out of the palm of your hand.
2. Smile. Preferably a manic, unnerving smile with cheeks quivering and teeth buckling under 1200psi of clench. Hold this smile throughout entire conversation, even hwhile talking. People love a smile!!
3. Shut your piehole! For the love of god NEVER, under any circumstances, talk about something you鈥檙e interested in! Speak only of the other person鈥檚 interests as if it were the most fascinating thing you鈥檝e ever heard... And do it 鈥済enuinely鈥� damn it! Oh, and make them feel really important; lay it on thick, y鈥檏now?! 鈥淥h, you鈥檙e a woodworking hobbiest and you personally made your office desk from American Hwhite Oak?! Oh Stan, you鈥檙e an absolute marvel!! Do take up the next 3.5 hours of my time discussing the finer details of this thrilling pastime, Stan!鈥� or 鈥淗AHAHAHA! *maintaining manic smile* Oh Barry, you are literally the funniest and most important person I鈥檝e spoken to in years, Barry! You mean to tell me, Barry, that hwhen it鈥檚 a bit quiet in here you just sit and watch all manner of marvelously funny cat videos on youtube?! Splendid! Oh, another? sure I鈥檝e got time! HWhat could be more pressing?! This is just great, you鈥檙e great Barry!鈥� Oh, and obviously make sure you do all of this sincerely, we鈥檙e not just trying to superficially flatter people here, c鈥檓on whattya take me for?!
4. If you鈥檙e wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically!... Hell, even if you know for sure that you鈥檙e not wrong, it couldn鈥檛 hurt to act like you might be.
5. Dramatize your ideas. If you sell, say, cash registers for example. Next time you go into the neighborhood grocery store, randomly point out to the owner how positively shit his current cash registers are and explain that he is literally hemorrhaging cash every time he uses them instead of your superior product. Don鈥檛 just tell him though, raise your voice and make a scene. Begin throwing coins on the floor and then at the cashier screaming, 鈥淐an鈥檛 you see you鈥檙e literally throwing away money, Gary?!!鈥�. Always use the name Gary, even if you know full well that鈥檚 not his/her name.
Self-serving, underhanded and insincere! You can smell the Carnegie training on furniture and used car salesmen from a mile away. Carnegie courses must鈥檝e been like factories churning out greasy, mass-produced slimeballs whose false kindness and counterfeit smiles, rather than achieving the desired level of endearment, come across passive aggressive and condescending to any moderately discerning conversationalist. Just repeatedly, and self-righteously, claiming that you are honest, sincere and most definitely NOT advocating a bag of cheap and flattering tricks, doesn鈥檛 make it so... Though, evidently, it does make you rich!
September 27, 2022
I really liked this book! I feel like I learned SO much about being a good leader, influencing people, and bettering my social skills. I truly think the lessons I learned in this book will stick with me for life. :)
October 1, 2018
:賯亘賱 兀賳 鬲卮乇毓 賮賷 賯乇丕亍丞 丕賱賰鬲丕亘, 賴賳丕賰 賲賱丕丨馗丕鬲 兀丨亘匕 丕毓鬲亘丕乇賴丕 賮賷 丨爻丕亘丕鬲賰
1- 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 賵丕賱賳氐丕卅丨 丕賱賵丕乇丿丞 賱丕 賷毓鬲賲丿 毓賱賷賴丕 亘丕賱賰賱賷丞 賱賱丨氐賵賱 毓賱賶 兀氐丿賯丕亍 賲賳 兀賯乇丕賳賰, 賮賱賰賷 賷賯亘賱賰 兀丨丿賴賲 賰氐丿賷賯 賮賷 毓賱丕賯丞 胤賵賷賱丞 丕賱賲丿賶 賷噩亘 兀賳 鬲賰賵賳 卮禺氐丕賸 匕丕 孬賯賱, 賵賷丨賲賱 賲賲賷夭丕鬲 賲丕丿賷丞 賲賮賷丿丞 鬲噩毓賱賴 賷丨鬲丕噩賰 丿丕卅賲丕賸, 賵廿匕丕 賮賯丿鬲 賴匕賴 丕賱賲賷夭丕鬲 賮爻鬲賳胤賮卅 毓賱丕賯鬲賴 亘賰 鬲丿乇賷噩賷丕賸 丨鬲賶 賵廿賳 賱賲 賷賰賳 賷賯氐丿 賴賵 匕賱賰貨 賱匕丕 賮丕賱毓賲賱 毓賱賶 鬲賳賲賷丞 賲賴丕乇丕鬲賰 賴賵 丨噩乇 丕賱兀爻丕爻.
2- 賷噩亘 兀賳 鬲亘丿賵 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 丕賱鬲賷 鬲賳賮匕賴丕 亘賲馗賴乇 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 丕賱賲禺賱氐丞, 賮丕賱賳丕爻 賱丕 賷丨亘賵賳 丕賱乇賷丕亍 賵丕賱賲丿丕賴賳丞貨 賮匕賱賰 賷馗賴乇賰 睾丕賱亘丕賸 賰賳氐丕亘 賷毓丕賲賱賴賲 賰兀睾亘賷丕亍, 賵賮賷 兀丨爻賳 丕賱兀丨賵丕賱 鬲馗賴乇 亘賲馗賴乇 丕賱賳氐丕亘 賮賯胤, 賵賮賷 賰賱 丕賱兀丨賵丕賱 爻賷鬲賱丕卮賶 賲噩賴賵丿賰 丕賱賲亘匕賵賱 毓賱賶 賴匕賴 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲. 賵亘氐賮鬲賷 丕賱卮禺氐賷丞, 賱賷 氐丿賷賯 賷丨丕賵賱 丿丕卅賲丕賸 鬲賳賮賷匕 爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 賰丕賱賲匕賰賵乇丞 賮賷 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賰廿馗賴丕乇 丕賱丕賴鬲賲丕賲 亘賲丕 賷孬賷乇 丕賴鬲賲丕賲賷, 賵賱賰賳賴 賱丕 賷賮毓賱賴丕 亘廿禺賱丕氐 睾丕賱亘丕賸, 賮賷鬲丨賵賱 丕賱兀賲乇 廿賱賶 賲丿毓丕丞 賱賱卮賮賯丞.
3- 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 丕賱賵丕乇丿丞 賱賷爻鬲 亘鬲毓丕賵賷匕 爻丨乇賷丞, 賮囟賱丕賸 毓賳 兀賳賴丕 賲毓乇賵賮丞 賵賯丿賷賲丞 賯丿賲 丕賱兀夭賱, 賵賱賰賳 賱丕 賷爻鬲禺丿賲賴丕 丕賱賳丕爻 毓丕丿丞 賮賷 兀賲賵乇賴賲 丕賱賷賵賲賷丞 賱丕乇鬲賮丕毓 鬲賰賱賮丞 丕賱噩賴丿 丕賱賲亘匕賵賱 賮賷賴丕 賲賯丕亘賱 丕賱毓丕卅丿 丕賱亘爻賷胤 賲賳賴丕 賳馗乇丕賸 賱兀賳 賲毓馗賲 丕賱兀卮禺丕氐 丕賱匕賷賳 賳賯丕亘賱賴賲 賱丕 賮丕卅丿丞 賲賳賴賲 毓賱賶 丕賱廿胤賱丕賯. 賵毓賳丿賲丕 賳丨鬲丕噩 兀丨丿 賴匕賴 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 賱鬲禺胤賷 賵乇胤丞 賲毓 兀丨丿 丕賱兀卮禺丕氐, 鬲鬲賵賴 丕賱丨賱賵賱 賲賳賳丕, 賵廿賳 賵噩丿賳丕賴丕 賮賱賷爻 亘賲賯丿賵乇賳丕 鬲賳賮賷匕 賲丕 賱賲 賳鬲毓賵丿 毓賱賶 賮毓賱賴 鬲賳賮賷匕丕賸 賷亘丿賵 噩賷丿丕賸. 賵毓賱賷賴, 賮丕賱兀毓賱丕賲 丕賱賵丕乇丿 匕賰乇賴賲 賮賷 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賰毓亘丕賯乇丞 賮賷 丕賱鬲毓丕賲賱 賲毓 丕賱賳丕爻 賲孬賱 "乇賵夭賮賱鬲", 賷爻鬲孬賲乇賵賳 噩賴賵丿 囟禺賲丞 賱鬲賲賵賷賱 卮毓亘賷鬲賴賲 賵爻胤 丕賱賳丕爻, 賵亘賴匕丕 兀氐賱 賲賳 噩丿賷丿 廿賱賶 廿賳 丕賱毓亘賯乇賷丞 賴賷 賲賯丿乇丞 毓賱賶 丕賱氐亘乇/丕賱丕噩鬲賴丕丿.
賱賷爻 賱丿賷 丕賱氐亘乇 毓賱賶 賰賱 鬲賱賰 丕賱賲卮丕賯 賱鬲賱賯賷 賲卮丕毓乇 丕賱賳丕爻, 賵賲賳 丕賱噩賷丿 兀賳賴 賱賷爻 賱丿賷 乇睾亘丞 毓賲賷賯丞 賮賷 丕爻鬲夭丕丿丞 賲賯丿乇鬲賷 毓賱賶 賲毓丕賲賱丞 丕賱賳丕爻 亘丨賰賲 卮禺氐賷鬲賷 丕賱賭"INTJ-T"
.. 賵毓賱賷賴 賳賵賷鬲 丕爻鬲禺丿丕賲 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賰賲乇噩毓, 賮賷 丨丕賱 廿賳 鬲賵乇胤鬲 賮賷 毓賱丕賯丞 賲毓 兀丨丿 丕賱亘卮乇.
4-"moral high ground fags" 賰賰賱 丕賱賰鬲亘 丕賱鬲賷 鬲鬲丨丿孬 毓賳 爻賱賵賰 丕賱亘卮乇 賵賰賷賮賷丞 丕爻鬲睾賱丕賱賴, 賱丕 賷賳氐丨 亘賴 賱賱爻丕丿丞 丕賱賭 .
5- 丕爻鬲禺丿賲賴 亘丕毓鬲丿丕賱, 賮賲毓馗賲 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 鬲毓鬲賲丿 賮賷 鬲兀孬賷乇賴丕 毓賱賶 賯賱丞 鬲賳賮賷匕 丕賱丌禺乇賷賳 賱賴丕, 賵廿匕 兀賳鬲 兀睾乇賯鬲 丕賱噩賲賷毓 亘賴丕, 賮爻賵賮 賷鬲亘丿丿 鬲兀孬賷乇賴丕 賰賰賱 卮賷亍 賲鬲賵賮乇 亘爻賴賵賱丞 賲賳 丨賵賱賴賲 賲賴賲丕 賰丕賳 兀賴賲賷丞 賲丕 鬲賯賵賲 亘賴 賱賴賲. 禺匕 丕賱賲丕亍 賵丕賱賴賵丕亍 賰賲孬丕賱 賵毓亘乇丞.
***
鬲乇噩賲丞 "毓亘丿 丕賱賱賴 賲丨賲丿 丕賱夭賷丕丿賷" 毓賳 "丿丕乇 丕賱賳丿賵丞 丕賱噩丿賷丿丞" 丕賱賱亘賳丕賳賷丞 鬲乇噩賲丞 噩賷丿丞 噩丿丕賸... 鬲乇噩賲丞 丕賱毓賳賵丕賳 丕賱乇卅賷爻賷 賱賭 "賰賷賮 鬲禺鬲丕乇 丕賱兀氐丿賯丕亍" 睾賷乇 賲賵賮賯, 賵丕賱毓賳賵丕賳 丕賱賮乇毓賷 "賰賷賮 鬲丐孬乇 賮賷 丕賱賳丕爻" 兀賰孬乇 鬲毓亘賷乇丕賸 毓賳 丕賱賰鬲丕亘.
賴賳丕賰 鬲乇噩賲丕鬲 兀禺乇賶 賲鬲賵賮乇丞, 賵賱賰賳賷 賱賲 兀胤賱毓 毓賱賷賴丕.
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鬲賲丕賲丕賸 賰賰鬲丕亘 , 賷爻乇丿 賰丕乇賳噩賷 丕賱賰孬賷乇 賲賳 丕賱賯氐氐 丕賱丨賯賷賯賷丞 丕賱賲爻賱賷丞 賱鬲賵囟賷丨 賳氐丕卅丨賴, 賵賱廿毓胤丕亍 兀賲孬賱丞 毓賲賱賷丞 賳爻鬲胤賷毓 丕爻鬲睾賱丕賱賴丕 賮賷 丨賷丕鬲賳丕. 兀匕賰乇 賲賳賴賲 賯氐鬲丕賳, 賵丕賱兀賵賱賶 賲賳賴賲丕 鬲氐乇賮鬲 賮賷賴丕 賯賱賷賱丕賸:
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賲丨鬲賵賷丕鬲 丕賱賰鬲丕亘:
1- 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 賵丕賱賳氐丕卅丨 丕賱賵丕乇丿丞 賱丕 賷毓鬲賲丿 毓賱賷賴丕 亘丕賱賰賱賷丞 賱賱丨氐賵賱 毓賱賶 兀氐丿賯丕亍 賲賳 兀賯乇丕賳賰, 賮賱賰賷 賷賯亘賱賰 兀丨丿賴賲 賰氐丿賷賯 賮賷 毓賱丕賯丞 胤賵賷賱丞 丕賱賲丿賶 賷噩亘 兀賳 鬲賰賵賳 卮禺氐丕賸 匕丕 孬賯賱, 賵賷丨賲賱 賲賲賷夭丕鬲 賲丕丿賷丞 賲賮賷丿丞 鬲噩毓賱賴 賷丨鬲丕噩賰 丿丕卅賲丕賸, 賵廿匕丕 賮賯丿鬲 賴匕賴 丕賱賲賷夭丕鬲 賮爻鬲賳胤賮卅 毓賱丕賯鬲賴 亘賰 鬲丿乇賷噩賷丕賸 丨鬲賶 賵廿賳 賱賲 賷賰賳 賷賯氐丿 賴賵 匕賱賰貨 賱匕丕 賮丕賱毓賲賱 毓賱賶 鬲賳賲賷丞 賲賴丕乇丕鬲賰 賴賵 丨噩乇 丕賱兀爻丕爻.
2- 賷噩亘 兀賳 鬲亘丿賵 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 丕賱鬲賷 鬲賳賮匕賴丕 亘賲馗賴乇 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 丕賱賲禺賱氐丞, 賮丕賱賳丕爻 賱丕 賷丨亘賵賳 丕賱乇賷丕亍 賵丕賱賲丿丕賴賳丞貨 賮匕賱賰 賷馗賴乇賰 睾丕賱亘丕賸 賰賳氐丕亘 賷毓丕賲賱賴賲 賰兀睾亘賷丕亍, 賵賮賷 兀丨爻賳 丕賱兀丨賵丕賱 鬲馗賴乇 亘賲馗賴乇 丕賱賳氐丕亘 賮賯胤, 賵賮賷 賰賱 丕賱兀丨賵丕賱 爻賷鬲賱丕卮賶 賲噩賴賵丿賰 丕賱賲亘匕賵賱 毓賱賶 賴匕賴 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲. 賵亘氐賮鬲賷 丕賱卮禺氐賷丞, 賱賷 氐丿賷賯 賷丨丕賵賱 丿丕卅賲丕賸 鬲賳賮賷匕 爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 賰丕賱賲匕賰賵乇丞 賮賷 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賰廿馗賴丕乇 丕賱丕賴鬲賲丕賲 亘賲丕 賷孬賷乇 丕賴鬲賲丕賲賷, 賵賱賰賳賴 賱丕 賷賮毓賱賴丕 亘廿禺賱丕氐 睾丕賱亘丕賸, 賮賷鬲丨賵賱 丕賱兀賲乇 廿賱賶 賲丿毓丕丞 賱賱卮賮賯丞.
3- 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 丕賱賵丕乇丿丞 賱賷爻鬲 亘鬲毓丕賵賷匕 爻丨乇賷丞, 賮囟賱丕賸 毓賳 兀賳賴丕 賲毓乇賵賮丞 賵賯丿賷賲丞 賯丿賲 丕賱兀夭賱, 賵賱賰賳 賱丕 賷爻鬲禺丿賲賴丕 丕賱賳丕爻 毓丕丿丞 賮賷 兀賲賵乇賴賲 丕賱賷賵賲賷丞 賱丕乇鬲賮丕毓 鬲賰賱賮丞 丕賱噩賴丿 丕賱賲亘匕賵賱 賮賷賴丕 賲賯丕亘賱 丕賱毓丕卅丿 丕賱亘爻賷胤 賲賳賴丕 賳馗乇丕賸 賱兀賳 賲毓馗賲 丕賱兀卮禺丕氐 丕賱匕賷賳 賳賯丕亘賱賴賲 賱丕 賮丕卅丿丞 賲賳賴賲 毓賱賶 丕賱廿胤賱丕賯. 賵毓賳丿賲丕 賳丨鬲丕噩 兀丨丿 賴匕賴 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 賱鬲禺胤賷 賵乇胤丞 賲毓 兀丨丿 丕賱兀卮禺丕氐, 鬲鬲賵賴 丕賱丨賱賵賱 賲賳賳丕, 賵廿賳 賵噩丿賳丕賴丕 賮賱賷爻 亘賲賯丿賵乇賳丕 鬲賳賮賷匕 賲丕 賱賲 賳鬲毓賵丿 毓賱賶 賮毓賱賴 鬲賳賮賷匕丕賸 賷亘丿賵 噩賷丿丕賸. 賵毓賱賷賴, 賮丕賱兀毓賱丕賲 丕賱賵丕乇丿 匕賰乇賴賲 賮賷 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賰毓亘丕賯乇丞 賮賷 丕賱鬲毓丕賲賱 賲毓 丕賱賳丕爻 賲孬賱 "乇賵夭賮賱鬲", 賷爻鬲孬賲乇賵賳 噩賴賵丿 囟禺賲丞 賱鬲賲賵賷賱 卮毓亘賷鬲賴賲 賵爻胤 丕賱賳丕爻, 賵亘賴匕丕 兀氐賱 賲賳 噩丿賷丿 廿賱賶 廿賳 丕賱毓亘賯乇賷丞 賴賷 賲賯丿乇丞 毓賱賶 丕賱氐亘乇/丕賱丕噩鬲賴丕丿.
賱賷爻 賱丿賷 丕賱氐亘乇 毓賱賶 賰賱 鬲賱賰 丕賱賲卮丕賯 賱鬲賱賯賷 賲卮丕毓乇 丕賱賳丕爻, 賵賲賳 丕賱噩賷丿 兀賳賴 賱賷爻 賱丿賷 乇睾亘丞 毓賲賷賯丞 賮賷 丕爻鬲夭丕丿丞 賲賯丿乇鬲賷 毓賱賶 賲毓丕賲賱丞 丕賱賳丕爻 亘丨賰賲 卮禺氐賷鬲賷 丕賱賭"INTJ-T"
.. 賵毓賱賷賴 賳賵賷鬲 丕爻鬲禺丿丕賲 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賰賲乇噩毓, 賮賷 丨丕賱 廿賳 鬲賵乇胤鬲 賮賷 毓賱丕賯丞 賲毓 兀丨丿 丕賱亘卮乇.
4-"moral high ground fags" 賰賰賱 丕賱賰鬲亘 丕賱鬲賷 鬲鬲丨丿孬 毓賳 爻賱賵賰 丕賱亘卮乇 賵賰賷賮賷丞 丕爻鬲睾賱丕賱賴, 賱丕 賷賳氐丨 亘賴 賱賱爻丕丿丞 丕賱賭 .
5- 丕爻鬲禺丿賲賴 亘丕毓鬲丿丕賱, 賮賲毓馗賲 丕賱爻賱賵賰賷丕鬲 鬲毓鬲賲丿 賮賷 鬲兀孬賷乇賴丕 毓賱賶 賯賱丞 鬲賳賮賷匕 丕賱丌禺乇賷賳 賱賴丕, 賵廿匕 兀賳鬲 兀睾乇賯鬲 丕賱噩賲賷毓 亘賴丕, 賮爻賵賮 賷鬲亘丿丿 鬲兀孬賷乇賴丕 賰賰賱 卮賷亍 賲鬲賵賮乇 亘爻賴賵賱丞 賲賳 丨賵賱賴賲 賲賴賲丕 賰丕賳 兀賴賲賷丞 賲丕 鬲賯賵賲 亘賴 賱賴賲. 禺匕 丕賱賲丕亍 賵丕賱賴賵丕亍 賰賲孬丕賱 賵毓亘乇丞.
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鬲乇噩賲丞 "毓亘丿 丕賱賱賴 賲丨賲丿 丕賱夭賷丕丿賷" 毓賳 "丿丕乇 丕賱賳丿賵丞 丕賱噩丿賷丿丞" 丕賱賱亘賳丕賳賷丞 鬲乇噩賲丞 噩賷丿丞 噩丿丕賸... 鬲乇噩賲丞 丕賱毓賳賵丕賳 丕賱乇卅賷爻賷 賱賭 "賰賷賮 鬲禺鬲丕乇 丕賱兀氐丿賯丕亍" 睾賷乇 賲賵賮賯, 賵丕賱毓賳賵丕賳 丕賱賮乇毓賷 "賰賷賮 鬲丐孬乇 賮賷 丕賱賳丕爻" 兀賰孬乇 鬲毓亘賷乇丕賸 毓賳 丕賱賰鬲丕亘.
賴賳丕賰 鬲乇噩賲丕鬲 兀禺乇賶 賲鬲賵賮乇丞, 賵賱賰賳賷 賱賲 兀胤賱毓 毓賱賷賴丕.
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鬲賲丕賲丕賸 賰賰鬲丕亘 , 賷爻乇丿 賰丕乇賳噩賷 丕賱賰孬賷乇 賲賳 丕賱賯氐氐 丕賱丨賯賷賯賷丞 丕賱賲爻賱賷丞 賱鬲賵囟賷丨 賳氐丕卅丨賴, 賵賱廿毓胤丕亍 兀賲孬賱丞 毓賲賱賷丞 賳爻鬲胤賷毓 丕爻鬲睾賱丕賱賴丕 賮賷 丨賷丕鬲賳丕. 兀匕賰乇 賲賳賴賲 賯氐鬲丕賳, 賵丕賱兀賵賱賶 賲賳賴賲丕 鬲氐乇賮鬲 賮賷賴丕 賯賱賷賱丕賸:
"廿賳 賲毓馗賲 丕賱卮亘丕賳 丕賱乇丕睾亘賷賳 賮賷 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賱丕 賷賴賲賴賲 兀賳 鬲賰賵賳 丕賱夭賵噩丞 丕賱賲賳卮賵丿丞 乇亘丞 亘賷鬲 賲賳 丕賱胤乇丕夭 丕賱兀賵賱 亘賯丿乇 賲丕 賷賴賲賴賲 兀賳 鬲卮亘毓 睾乇賵乇賴賲, 賵鬲賲賳丨賴賲 丕賱廿丨爻丕爻 亘丕賱兀賴賲賷丞 賵丕賱丕毓鬲亘丕乇!"
賵賱毓賱 賴匕丕 賴賵 丕賱爻乇 賮賷 兀賳 兀賰孬乇 丕賱賮鬲賷丕鬲 丕賱賲孬賯賮丕鬲 賷禺賮賯賳 賮賷 丕賱丨氐賵賱 毓賱賶 丕賱兀夭賵丕噩, 賮廿賳賰 賯丿 鬲丿毓賵 丕賱賮鬲丕丞 丕賱賲孬賯賮丞 賱賱睾丿丕亍 賲毓賰 , 賮賱丕 鬲賱亘孬 兀賳 鬲鬲乇賰賰 賵賯丿 鬲丨賲爻鬲 賱丿乇丕爻丞 丕賱鬲賷丕乇丕鬲 丕賱賴丕賲丞 賮賷 丕賱賮賱爻賮丞 丕賱賲毓丕氐乇丞 - 賲孬賱丕賸- 賵賲丕匕丕 鬲賰賵賳 丕賱賳鬲賷噩丞責 鬲鬲賳丕賵賱 睾丿丕亍賴丕 亘毓丿 匕賱賰 亘賱丕 乇賮賷賯.
賵賱賰賳賰 賯丿 鬲丿毓賵 廿賱賶 丕賱睾丿丕亍 賮鬲丕丞 鬲毓賲賱 毓賱賶 丕賱丌賱丞 丕賱賰丕鬲亘丞 賵賱賲 鬲丿乇爻 賯胤 賮賷 丕賱噩丕賲毓丞, 賮賱丕 鬲賱亘孬 兀賳 鬲孬亘鬲 賳馗乇賴丕 毓賱賷賰, 賵鬲賯賵賱 賱賰: "丨丿孬賳賷 毓賳 賳賮爻賰" 賵賲丕匕丕 鬲賰賵賳 丕賱賳鬲賷噩丞責 爻賵賮 鬲卮毓乇 亘丕賱兀賲丕賳 賮賷 氐丨亘鬲賴丕, 賵爻賵賮 鬲賯賵賱 丨鬲賲丕賸 賮賷 賱兀氐丨丕亘賰: "氐丨賷丨 廿賳賴丕 賱賷爻鬲 毓賱賶 賯丿乇 賰亘賷乇 賲賳 丕賱噩賲丕賱, 賵賱賰賳賷 丕乇鬲丨鬲 賱賴丕!"
賲賳匕 賵賯鬲 賯氐賷乇, 賵賯毓 氐丿賷賯 賱賷 賮賷 睾乇丕賲 賮鬲丕丞 賱賲 賷賱亘孬 兀賳 禺胤亘賴丕, 賵亘毓丿 賯賱賷賱 賲賳 禺胤亘鬲賴, 乇睾亘鬲 廿賱賷賴 禺胤賷亘鬲賴 賮賷 兀賳 賷鬲毓賱賲 丕賱乇賯氐 賮丕爻鬲噩丕亘 賱乇睾亘鬲賴丕. 賯丕賱 賱賷 賵賴賵 賷乇賵賷 丕賱賯氐丞:
"... 賵丕賱賱賴 賷毓賱賲 兀賳賳賷 賰賳鬲 賮賷 兀賲爻 丕賱丨丕噩丞 廿賱賶 丿乇賵爻 丕賱乇賯氐. 賰賳鬲 賯丿 鬲毓賱賲鬲 丕賱乇賯氐 賲賳匕 賳丨賵 毓卮乇賷賳 爻賳丞, 賮賱賲丕 毓丿鬲 廿賱賷賴, 毓丿鬲 賰賲丕 亘丿兀鬲賴, 賵賯丿 氐丕乇丨鬲賳賷 丕賱賲丿乇爻丞 丕賱兀賵賱賶 丕賱鬲賷 賯氐丿鬲 廿賱賷賴丕, 亘賴匕賴 丕賱丨賯賷賯丞 爻丕賮乇丞, 賯丕賱鬲 賱賷 賱賷 廿賳賳賷 毓賱賶 禺胤兀 亘賷賾賳, 賵廿賳賴 賷噩亘 兀賳 兀賳爻賶 賲丕 鬲毓賱賲鬲賴 賮賷 丕賱賲丕囟賷 賵兀賳 兀亘丿兀 賲賳 噩丿賷丿! 賵賱賰賳 賴匕丕 丕賯鬲囟丕賳賷 賲噩賴賵丿丕賸 賰亘賷乇丕賸, 賵賱賲 賷賰賳 賱丿賷 丿丕賮毓 賷丿賮毓賳賷 廿賱賶 賲賵丕氐賱丞 丕賱鬲毓賱賷賲 賮鬲乇賰鬲賴丕!.
"賵賱毓賱 丕賱賲毓賱賲丞 丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賰匕亘鬲 毓賱賷, 賵賱賰賳賷 賮囟賱鬲賴丕! 賯丕賱鬲 賱賷 廿賳 乇賯氐賷 賯丿賷賲 丕賱毓賴丿 亘毓囟 丕賱卮賷亍, 賵賱賰賳 丕賱賲亘丕丿卅 賮賷 噩賵賴乇賴丕 氐丨賷丨丞. 賵兀賰丿鬲 兀賳賳賷 賱賳 锟斤拷賱賯賶 毓賳丕亍 賮賷 鬲毓賱賲 亘毓囟 丕賱禺胤賵丕鬲 丕賱噩丿賷丿丞.
"賱賯丿 亘孬鬲 丕賱賲毓賱賲丞 丕賱兀賵賱賶 丕賱賷兀爻 賮賷 賳賮爻賷 亘鬲兀賰賷丿賴丕 賱兀禺胤丕卅賷, 兀賲丕 丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賮賯丿 賮毓賱鬲 丕賱毓賰爻 鬲賲丕賲丕賸: 丕賲鬲丿丨鬲 丕賱卮賷亍 丕賱賵丨賷丿 丕賱氐丨賷丨 賮賷 乇賯氐賷, 賵賴賵賳鬲 賰孬賷乇丕賸 賲賳 卮兀賳 兀禺胤丕卅賷.
賵賰丕賳鬲 賱丕 鬲賮鬲兀 鬲賯賵賱 賱賷: 廿賳 賱賰 兀匕賳丕賸 賲賵爻賷賯賷丞 .. 廿賳賰 乇丕賯氐 賲賵賴賵亘.
"賵亘乇睾賲 廿賷賲丕賳賷 亘兀賳賳賷 賰賳鬲 鈥� 賵爻兀馗賱 鈥� 乇丕賯氐丕賸 賲賳 丕賱丿乇噩丞 丕賱乇丕亘毓丞, 廿賱丕 兀賳賳賷 賰賳鬲 兀鬲卮賰賰 兀丨賷丕賳丕 賵兀賯賵賱 賱賳賮爻賷 : 乇亘賲丕 賰丕賳鬲 鬲毓賳賷 賲丕 鬲賯賵賱!. 賵丕賱賵丕賯毓 兀賳賳賷 賰賳鬲 兀賳賯丿賴丕 丕賱賲丕賱 亘爻亘亘 賲丕 鬲賵丕賱賷賳賷 亘賴 賲賳 鬲卮噩賷毓 賵鬲賯丿賷乇!"
***
賲丨鬲賵賷丕鬲 丕賱賰鬲丕亘:
September 1, 2024
My review reminds me that these tips help build better relationships and positively influence others. 鈴斥彶馃暟
1. Be genuinely interested in others.
2. Smile often.
3. Remember people鈥檚 names.
4. Listen more, talk less.
5. Talk about what others are interested in.
6. Don鈥檛 criticize.
7. Give sincere compliments.
8. Let others share their stories.
9. Make people feel important.
This book is a must-read for anyone looking to improve relationships and positively influence others.
1. Be genuinely interested in others.
2. Smile often.
3. Remember people鈥檚 names.
4. Listen more, talk less.
5. Talk about what others are interested in.
6. Don鈥檛 criticize.
7. Give sincere compliments.
8. Let others share their stories.
9. Make people feel important.
This book is a must-read for anyone looking to improve relationships and positively influence others.
March 13, 2019
鈥淵ou can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.鈥�
鈥楬ow to win friends and influence people鈥� is one of the best self-help books I read in 2018. It鈥檚 a very popular book that I managed to avoid for years simply because I thought it might have clich茅 advice that I鈥檇 probably already know and I won鈥檛 find anything useful. Boy, was I wrong! It definitely has pieces of advice you probably have heard a million times already, from your parents, teachers or just any adult; you listen and get inspired for like 15 minutes but you don鈥檛 spend time pondering on it and it鈥檚 forgotten. I guess you need to be in a certain state of mind to absorb opinions and ideas. This book had me in that state and was able to hold my attention throughout.
One of the most important things I took away from this book was 鈥楪ive unto others what we would have others give unto us鈥�. Now, I know everybody knows that! We, humans, are complex creatures; we have different personalities, temperaments, motivations but when everything is taken away, there are some core values that are similar in all of us. Our actions spring from what we desire, we crave appreciation, feeling of importance, and we want to be respected and listened to. This book tells you to peer into your mind and learn about yourself.
It鈥檚 really important to get to know yourself first, to know what you like and what you don鈥檛. In order to influence people, you need to put yourself in their shoes and approach the situation in that way. This takes tactfulness and patience. The author also makes use of wise quotes from philosophers and great people to explain his ideas, which I really liked. He also gives examples from the lives of successful people to elaborate his point and also, gives pointers on how to incorporate those pieces of advice in our daily lives. Every advice given in this book is valuable, no matter how commonplace it is. I believe this book should be a necessary read for students in school and college.
All in all, it was very informative and useful book. There were so many great advises you could use in your daily life. I believe everyone should read this book at least once in their lives because it鈥檚 really worth your time.
鈥楬ow to win friends and influence people鈥� is one of the best self-help books I read in 2018. It鈥檚 a very popular book that I managed to avoid for years simply because I thought it might have clich茅 advice that I鈥檇 probably already know and I won鈥檛 find anything useful. Boy, was I wrong! It definitely has pieces of advice you probably have heard a million times already, from your parents, teachers or just any adult; you listen and get inspired for like 15 minutes but you don鈥檛 spend time pondering on it and it鈥檚 forgotten. I guess you need to be in a certain state of mind to absorb opinions and ideas. This book had me in that state and was able to hold my attention throughout.
One of the most important things I took away from this book was 鈥楪ive unto others what we would have others give unto us鈥�. Now, I know everybody knows that! We, humans, are complex creatures; we have different personalities, temperaments, motivations but when everything is taken away, there are some core values that are similar in all of us. Our actions spring from what we desire, we crave appreciation, feeling of importance, and we want to be respected and listened to. This book tells you to peer into your mind and learn about yourself.
It鈥檚 really important to get to know yourself first, to know what you like and what you don鈥檛. In order to influence people, you need to put yourself in their shoes and approach the situation in that way. This takes tactfulness and patience. The author also makes use of wise quotes from philosophers and great people to explain his ideas, which I really liked. He also gives examples from the lives of successful people to elaborate his point and also, gives pointers on how to incorporate those pieces of advice in our daily lives. Every advice given in this book is valuable, no matter how commonplace it is. I believe this book should be a necessary read for students in school and college.
All in all, it was very informative and useful book. There were so many great advises you could use in your daily life. I believe everyone should read this book at least once in their lives because it鈥檚 really worth your time.
May 3, 2022
隆Cl谩sico de cl谩sicos! Por la gran calidad del contenido, no es una sorpresa que, tras casi cien a帽os de la fecha de publicaci贸n, el libro a煤n siga siendo vigente y muy popular.
Excelente libro, en verdad me encanta. Esta obra de Carnegie me recuerda a un libro llamado 70 recetas para triunfar en la vida el cual mi madre me regal贸 hace varios a帽os porque, en aquel entonces, ella, me sinti贸 bastante desorientado en mi vida. Recuerdo que result贸 siendo un gran regalo porque en verdad aquel libro me ayud贸 mucho para madurar, para ganar confianza, y para creer que todo lo que me proponga en el futuro puedo lograrlo, incluso si parece imposible. Enfrentarme a la vida real nunca fue sencillo para m铆 鈥攄e hecho a煤n tengo complicaciones para adaptarme en ciertas circunstancias鈥� porque yo viv铆a en una burbuja de irrealidad. Siempre fui el mejor en mi colegio, no sufr铆 fracasos y/o frustraciones, pero al salir de esa burbuja me estrell茅 con la realidad y psicol贸gicamente result茅 bastante afectado. En unos pocos a帽os pas茅 de ser un engre铆do sabelotodo a un fracasado con depresi贸n. Fue en aquella lectura que conoc铆 a Dale Carnegie, ya que en cierto momento del texto se realiza la menci贸n correspondiente a este autor, y por tanto, mi curiosidad me llev贸 a investigar y posteriormente a leer este libro. En esa ocasi贸n tuve una buena experiencia, el libro me gust贸, aprend铆 mucho, pero el tiempo fue haci茅ndome olvidar poco a poco las lecciones aprendidas. Esa es la raz贸n de mi relectura, incluso es probable que lo vuelva a leer en el futuro: Este tipo de obras se deben retomar cada cierto periodo de tiempo para recordar lo olvidado y tambi茅n para aprender lecciones nuevas que posiblemente ignoramos en nuestras lecturas previas.
C贸mo ganar amigos e influir sobre las personas es una gran obra que nos ayuda a reflexionar sobre los errores que cometemos cuando tratamos a nuestro pr贸jimo. Todo el libro est谩 cargado de historias, frases y lecciones; bellas lecciones que por su sencillez calan hondamente en nosotros, bellas lecciones que nos hace recapacitar sobre nuestro comportamiento, nuestras palabras, y la forma como nos relacionamos con los dem谩s. Leer esta obra sirve para darnos cuenta que las personas no somos robots, y que en todas las ocasiones donde actuamos con antipat铆a, groser铆a, y agresividad, realmente hemos tratado a las personas como basura, y nadie, absolutamente nadie se lo merece. Carnegie nos invita a comprender al pr贸jimo, a ganarnos su confianza, a ser amables, simp谩ticos, y especialmente a interesarnos con genuinidad en ellos. Carnegie nos invita a ser m谩s humanos, nos invita a madurar, nos invita a seguir el ejemplo de cientos y miles de personas que por su buena comunicaci贸n tienen grandes amigos y 茅xito en sus vidas. Carnegie escribi贸 esta obra para ayudarnos a ser mejores humanos.
Como sus lecciones son pr谩cticas y prometen buenos resultados, es recomendable no leer esta obra tan r谩pido, sino preferiblemente intentar practicar, poco a poco, los buenos h谩bitos propuestos por el autor. Tambi茅n es recomendable realizar muchas anotaciones porque de no hacerlo, nos perderemos las ense帽anzas que en el libro aparecen, y como son tantas, entonces se vuelve una tarea imposible memorizarlas todas juntas. Si leemos esta obra como un libro normal, podr铆amos acabarlo en unas pocas horas, pero si deseamos emplear estos consejos en nuestra vida, lo recomendable es leer poca informaci贸n en un solo d铆a. Si desean leerlo al azar, tambi茅n pueden hacerlo, no hay ning煤n problema con ello.
La din谩mica del libro es bastante pragm谩tica. El autor nos cuenta una historia de un vendedor, presidente, pol铆tico, comerciante, etc., y como una f谩bula, nos deja en cada una de ellas una moraleja importante; moraleja que va fortaleciendo en las siguientes historias del mismo cap铆tulo. Eso me ha llevado a pensar que quiz谩s la cantidad de ejemplos pueden llegar a ser exagerados. Con dos o tres ejemplos podr铆a ser suficiente, en mi opini贸n, pero cinco o seis ejemplos que refuerzan la misma idea me parece algo innecesario. L贸gicamente, no todas las historias impresionan a todas las personas de igual manera, por lo que comprendo que su objetivo es presentar historias diversas, ya que se supondr铆a que alguna tendr铆a que ayudar al lector a reflexionar. Este tipo de historias, y forma en que son narradas, me recuerda a las que se les cuenta a los ni帽os para que aprendan a ser puntuales, responsables, dormir temprano, etc. Son escritas de una forma tan simple, sin atacar al lector por tener fallas o errores, y se siente una paciencia y una compresi贸n tan alta en las palabras que me hace pensar que debi贸 ser muy agradable entablar una conversaci贸n real con este se帽or. Una persona que te escucha, no te juzga, es amable contigo, y a la vez te da consejos sin ofenderte, es un amigo de verdad. Si t煤, que est谩s leyendo esto, conoces a alguien as铆, cuida mucho esa amistad, es dif铆cil encontrar alguien que est茅 dispuesto a gastar su tiempo en ti.
Aunque no estoy de acuerdo con las lecturas obligatorias, pienso que esta obra s铆 deber铆a serlo. Con tanta agresividad, odio e indiferencia, que hay por todas partes en el mundo, siento que este libro podr铆a ayudar much铆simo a reducir la cantidad de peleas y problemas de convivencia que se viven en todos los 谩mbitos posibles: Trabajos, colegios, universidades, hogar, etc. No s茅 ustedes, pero a m铆 me parece tan molesto salir a caminar a la calle, con el objetivo de cambiar de ambiente, descansar, quiz谩s meditar, y as铆 respirar un aire m谩s saludable, pero en vez de calmarnos resultamos llegando a nuestro destino m谩s estresados de lo que est谩bamos. Tantas peleas, gritos, intolerancia, y esc谩ndalo por todas partes, es tan, pero tan molesto, que incluso pierdo las ganas de salir en muchas ocasiones. Debemos contactarnos con el mundo exterior, relacionarnos, caminar, y dem谩s, porque somos seres sociales por naturaleza, pero a veces el escenario no ayuda mucho para motivarnos a hacerlo. Quiz谩s si leyeran este libro por obligaci贸n no lo practicar铆an, seguir铆amos siempre con los mismos malos h谩bitos, pero tal vez valdr铆a la pena para intentar germinar la semilla de la duda en algunas personas que, a lo mejor, puede que si tengan la disposici贸n para cambiar sus malos h谩bitos y actitudes. En los momentos en que se sientan furiosos, fren茅ticamente descontrolados, y tengan deseos de explotar violentamente sobre los dem谩s, en esos casos, les recomiendo que primero lean un rato este libro, y si despu茅s de hacerlo a煤n tienen deseos de ser violentos, bien pueden terminar su cometido; pero, es probable, que su ira se reduzca mucho porque leyendo este libro comprendemos que somos tan culpables como los dem谩s cuando una conversaci贸n se sale de control.
Cuando lees este libro sientes la curiosidad de practicar lo que te propone el autor, y lo mejor es que puedes hacerlo en cualquier situaci贸n cotidiana de tu vida: Desde hablar con un ni帽o para que te obedezca, o hablar con tu jefe para pedirle un aumento. Este libro puede ayudarte, como su t铆tulo lo dice, a influir sobre las personas, pero a pesar de ello no encontrar谩s consejos de c贸mo manipular a las personas, o aprovecharte de ellos. No. Lo que encontrar谩s ser谩 un libro que te har谩 entender que s铆 deseas que alguien te siga, o 芦te haga caso禄, debes preocuparte por su bienestar y no solo por el tuyo. Influir sanamente en los dem谩s comprende un intercambio equivalente para ambas partes.
En la parte final se cuenta la vida de Dale Carnegie, y entonces es all铆 donde sentimos m谩s simpat铆a con el autor porque comprendemos que es igual que nosotros, con sus problemas, sus sue帽os y dificultades, y que es un gran ejemplo a seguir porque lo que 茅l hizo fue seguir su pasi贸n para dedicarse de por vida a lo que siempre dese贸 hacer: Ser un conferencista. Es una historia muy bonita que me ha gustado mucho, la he rele铆do varias veces 鈥攊ncluso en este momento mientras escribo esta rese帽a鈥�, y entre m谩s la leo m谩s me encanta su historia de superaci贸n.
En resumen, un libro muy bueno que nos ayuda a crecer. Lo leer茅 varias veces a lo largo de mi vida, y de cada lectura estoy seguro que aprender茅 nuevas lecciones porque aprender a tratar a los dem谩s es un camino interminable, y muy dif铆cil de seguir, pero intentar transitarlo vale la pena porque nos traer谩 grandes beneficios, no solo econ贸micos, sino de todo tipo. Sigue estos consejos y estar谩s siempre rodeado de grandes amigos, sigue estos consejos y no tendr谩s enemigos, sigue estos consejos y nunca estar谩s solo, sigue estos consejos y tendr谩s una mano amiga que estar谩 siempre dispuesta a ayudarte. Libro que deber铆a ser obligatorio, por tanto es supremamente recomendado.
Excelente libro, en verdad me encanta. Esta obra de Carnegie me recuerda a un libro llamado 70 recetas para triunfar en la vida el cual mi madre me regal贸 hace varios a帽os porque, en aquel entonces, ella, me sinti贸 bastante desorientado en mi vida. Recuerdo que result贸 siendo un gran regalo porque en verdad aquel libro me ayud贸 mucho para madurar, para ganar confianza, y para creer que todo lo que me proponga en el futuro puedo lograrlo, incluso si parece imposible. Enfrentarme a la vida real nunca fue sencillo para m铆 鈥攄e hecho a煤n tengo complicaciones para adaptarme en ciertas circunstancias鈥� porque yo viv铆a en una burbuja de irrealidad. Siempre fui el mejor en mi colegio, no sufr铆 fracasos y/o frustraciones, pero al salir de esa burbuja me estrell茅 con la realidad y psicol贸gicamente result茅 bastante afectado. En unos pocos a帽os pas茅 de ser un engre铆do sabelotodo a un fracasado con depresi贸n. Fue en aquella lectura que conoc铆 a Dale Carnegie, ya que en cierto momento del texto se realiza la menci贸n correspondiente a este autor, y por tanto, mi curiosidad me llev贸 a investigar y posteriormente a leer este libro. En esa ocasi贸n tuve una buena experiencia, el libro me gust贸, aprend铆 mucho, pero el tiempo fue haci茅ndome olvidar poco a poco las lecciones aprendidas. Esa es la raz贸n de mi relectura, incluso es probable que lo vuelva a leer en el futuro: Este tipo de obras se deben retomar cada cierto periodo de tiempo para recordar lo olvidado y tambi茅n para aprender lecciones nuevas que posiblemente ignoramos en nuestras lecturas previas.
C贸mo ganar amigos e influir sobre las personas es una gran obra que nos ayuda a reflexionar sobre los errores que cometemos cuando tratamos a nuestro pr贸jimo. Todo el libro est谩 cargado de historias, frases y lecciones; bellas lecciones que por su sencillez calan hondamente en nosotros, bellas lecciones que nos hace recapacitar sobre nuestro comportamiento, nuestras palabras, y la forma como nos relacionamos con los dem谩s. Leer esta obra sirve para darnos cuenta que las personas no somos robots, y que en todas las ocasiones donde actuamos con antipat铆a, groser铆a, y agresividad, realmente hemos tratado a las personas como basura, y nadie, absolutamente nadie se lo merece. Carnegie nos invita a comprender al pr贸jimo, a ganarnos su confianza, a ser amables, simp谩ticos, y especialmente a interesarnos con genuinidad en ellos. Carnegie nos invita a ser m谩s humanos, nos invita a madurar, nos invita a seguir el ejemplo de cientos y miles de personas que por su buena comunicaci贸n tienen grandes amigos y 茅xito en sus vidas. Carnegie escribi贸 esta obra para ayudarnos a ser mejores humanos.
Como sus lecciones son pr谩cticas y prometen buenos resultados, es recomendable no leer esta obra tan r谩pido, sino preferiblemente intentar practicar, poco a poco, los buenos h谩bitos propuestos por el autor. Tambi茅n es recomendable realizar muchas anotaciones porque de no hacerlo, nos perderemos las ense帽anzas que en el libro aparecen, y como son tantas, entonces se vuelve una tarea imposible memorizarlas todas juntas. Si leemos esta obra como un libro normal, podr铆amos acabarlo en unas pocas horas, pero si deseamos emplear estos consejos en nuestra vida, lo recomendable es leer poca informaci贸n en un solo d铆a. Si desean leerlo al azar, tambi茅n pueden hacerlo, no hay ning煤n problema con ello.
La din谩mica del libro es bastante pragm谩tica. El autor nos cuenta una historia de un vendedor, presidente, pol铆tico, comerciante, etc., y como una f谩bula, nos deja en cada una de ellas una moraleja importante; moraleja que va fortaleciendo en las siguientes historias del mismo cap铆tulo. Eso me ha llevado a pensar que quiz谩s la cantidad de ejemplos pueden llegar a ser exagerados. Con dos o tres ejemplos podr铆a ser suficiente, en mi opini贸n, pero cinco o seis ejemplos que refuerzan la misma idea me parece algo innecesario. L贸gicamente, no todas las historias impresionan a todas las personas de igual manera, por lo que comprendo que su objetivo es presentar historias diversas, ya que se supondr铆a que alguna tendr铆a que ayudar al lector a reflexionar. Este tipo de historias, y forma en que son narradas, me recuerda a las que se les cuenta a los ni帽os para que aprendan a ser puntuales, responsables, dormir temprano, etc. Son escritas de una forma tan simple, sin atacar al lector por tener fallas o errores, y se siente una paciencia y una compresi贸n tan alta en las palabras que me hace pensar que debi贸 ser muy agradable entablar una conversaci贸n real con este se帽or. Una persona que te escucha, no te juzga, es amable contigo, y a la vez te da consejos sin ofenderte, es un amigo de verdad. Si t煤, que est谩s leyendo esto, conoces a alguien as铆, cuida mucho esa amistad, es dif铆cil encontrar alguien que est茅 dispuesto a gastar su tiempo en ti.
Aunque no estoy de acuerdo con las lecturas obligatorias, pienso que esta obra s铆 deber铆a serlo. Con tanta agresividad, odio e indiferencia, que hay por todas partes en el mundo, siento que este libro podr铆a ayudar much铆simo a reducir la cantidad de peleas y problemas de convivencia que se viven en todos los 谩mbitos posibles: Trabajos, colegios, universidades, hogar, etc. No s茅 ustedes, pero a m铆 me parece tan molesto salir a caminar a la calle, con el objetivo de cambiar de ambiente, descansar, quiz谩s meditar, y as铆 respirar un aire m谩s saludable, pero en vez de calmarnos resultamos llegando a nuestro destino m谩s estresados de lo que est谩bamos. Tantas peleas, gritos, intolerancia, y esc谩ndalo por todas partes, es tan, pero tan molesto, que incluso pierdo las ganas de salir en muchas ocasiones. Debemos contactarnos con el mundo exterior, relacionarnos, caminar, y dem谩s, porque somos seres sociales por naturaleza, pero a veces el escenario no ayuda mucho para motivarnos a hacerlo. Quiz谩s si leyeran este libro por obligaci贸n no lo practicar铆an, seguir铆amos siempre con los mismos malos h谩bitos, pero tal vez valdr铆a la pena para intentar germinar la semilla de la duda en algunas personas que, a lo mejor, puede que si tengan la disposici贸n para cambiar sus malos h谩bitos y actitudes. En los momentos en que se sientan furiosos, fren茅ticamente descontrolados, y tengan deseos de explotar violentamente sobre los dem谩s, en esos casos, les recomiendo que primero lean un rato este libro, y si despu茅s de hacerlo a煤n tienen deseos de ser violentos, bien pueden terminar su cometido; pero, es probable, que su ira se reduzca mucho porque leyendo este libro comprendemos que somos tan culpables como los dem谩s cuando una conversaci贸n se sale de control.
Cuando lees este libro sientes la curiosidad de practicar lo que te propone el autor, y lo mejor es que puedes hacerlo en cualquier situaci贸n cotidiana de tu vida: Desde hablar con un ni帽o para que te obedezca, o hablar con tu jefe para pedirle un aumento. Este libro puede ayudarte, como su t铆tulo lo dice, a influir sobre las personas, pero a pesar de ello no encontrar谩s consejos de c贸mo manipular a las personas, o aprovecharte de ellos. No. Lo que encontrar谩s ser谩 un libro que te har谩 entender que s铆 deseas que alguien te siga, o 芦te haga caso禄, debes preocuparte por su bienestar y no solo por el tuyo. Influir sanamente en los dem谩s comprende un intercambio equivalente para ambas partes.
En la parte final se cuenta la vida de Dale Carnegie, y entonces es all铆 donde sentimos m谩s simpat铆a con el autor porque comprendemos que es igual que nosotros, con sus problemas, sus sue帽os y dificultades, y que es un gran ejemplo a seguir porque lo que 茅l hizo fue seguir su pasi贸n para dedicarse de por vida a lo que siempre dese贸 hacer: Ser un conferencista. Es una historia muy bonita que me ha gustado mucho, la he rele铆do varias veces 鈥攊ncluso en este momento mientras escribo esta rese帽a鈥�, y entre m谩s la leo m谩s me encanta su historia de superaci贸n.
En resumen, un libro muy bueno que nos ayuda a crecer. Lo leer茅 varias veces a lo largo de mi vida, y de cada lectura estoy seguro que aprender茅 nuevas lecciones porque aprender a tratar a los dem谩s es un camino interminable, y muy dif铆cil de seguir, pero intentar transitarlo vale la pena porque nos traer谩 grandes beneficios, no solo econ贸micos, sino de todo tipo. Sigue estos consejos y estar谩s siempre rodeado de grandes amigos, sigue estos consejos y no tendr谩s enemigos, sigue estos consejos y nunca estar谩s solo, sigue estos consejos y tendr谩s una mano amiga que estar谩 siempre dispuesta a ayudarte. Libro que deber铆a ser obligatorio, por tanto es supremamente recomendado.
October 24, 2016
This book is a life changer ! Really, I'm not making this up. This was exactly what I needed. Some things that are described in this book I realized before reading this book, but there were a lot of things I never thought about myself but are so true. I don't like conflicts and I found a lot of tips in this book about this topic..so how not to be in fights with people. Yaaay, my zen is safe! =)
July 17, 2017
This was really the world's first self-help book and undoubtedly helped many people build their self-esteem. It is easy to read and its tenants are easy to follow. The one criticism that many have justly laid on it is the feeling that you are manipulating people into being your friends or accomplices (thus the "win" in the title). As such, the techniques work with a subpopulation of people you run into over the span of your life nut certainly not all of them. And true friendships are about depth and mutual respect so no techniques are required. A more appropriate use of the book is how to behave and fit in in corporate America and for that, other than losing the tie and the hat, manners and ambitions have not changed so much for the book to become irrelevant. I prefer Getting Things Done personally.
August 23, 2008
Sometimes I felt this book was a bit too . . . "used-car-salesmanshippy". There are some good ideas in it, but there are also some things which felt like they were extremely disingenuous. I don't like FAKE people. There are some ideas in here which are quite fake.
December 2, 2021
Tiene mucho m茅rito escribir un libro as铆 en 1936 y es absolutamente necesario ponerlo en el contexto de la 茅poca. El uso del lenguaje no est谩 acorde a los c谩nones del siglo XXI, por ejemplo. A煤n as铆, he aprendido mucho y he de decir que intentar茅 poner en pr谩ctica muchas de las ense帽anzas que he le铆do. Todo es muy 煤til y est谩 revestido con un ligero toque de ingenuidad.
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There is much merit in writing such a book in 1936 and it is absolutely necessary to put it in the context of the time. The use of language is not in keeping with 21st century canons, for example. Still, I have learned a lot and I must say that I will try to put into practice many of the lessons I have read. It is all very useful and overlaid with a slight touch of naivety.
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There is much merit in writing such a book in 1936 and it is absolutely necessary to put it in the context of the time. The use of language is not in keeping with 21st century canons, for example. Still, I have learned a lot and I must say that I will try to put into practice many of the lessons I have read. It is all very useful and overlaid with a slight touch of naivety.
Read
March 16, 2018Reading between the lines and paying attention to the biographical details you realise that Carnegie never was a successful salesman himself. Success only came late in life when he was teaching an evening school class on the topic of how to win friends and influence people. His students would share their stories about changes in thinking or attitude which had changed their lives, these then made their way in to the book. Once the book was published readers would send in their own stories which were added to later editions.
As a result the book is a collection of anecdotes, many of which have people changing their circumstances or changing their lives by changing the way they thought, but all the same you think that the unending pile of washing up featured in one story always remains an unending pile of washing up whether you enjoy it, despise it, value it or feel oppressed by it. Still, the book keys into a timeless message that you may not be able to change reality, but you can certainly change the way you think about it.
On the sinister side this is a book that celebrates positive thinking, which is to say that it ignores a realistic appraisal of the world in favour of having your cake and eating it, on one level this is a fairly harmless book on another it tends towards and the belief that others and oneself are to blame if you die when a ferry sinks, or if you are persecuted, or if you develop cancer because plainly such things only happen because you weren't positive enough . Barbara Ehrenreich discusses this all very nicely in .
It is only a short book and won't harm you if you give it a read, but despite the title doesn't have a lot of advice on how to win friends or influence people. A good book to lend to people with a big smile as they will suspect that you are trying to win their friendship and/or influence them the beerfree way.
As a result the book is a collection of anecdotes, many of which have people changing their circumstances or changing their lives by changing the way they thought, but all the same you think that the unending pile of washing up featured in one story always remains an unending pile of washing up whether you enjoy it, despise it, value it or feel oppressed by it. Still, the book keys into a timeless message that you may not be able to change reality, but you can certainly change the way you think about it.
On the sinister side this is a book that celebrates positive thinking, which is to say that it ignores a realistic appraisal of the world in favour of having your cake and eating it, on one level this is a fairly harmless book on another it tends towards and the belief that others and oneself are to blame if you die when a ferry sinks, or if you are persecuted, or if you develop cancer because plainly such things only happen because you weren't positive enough . Barbara Ehrenreich discusses this all very nicely in .
It is only a short book and won't harm you if you give it a read, but despite the title doesn't have a lot of advice on how to win friends or influence people. A good book to lend to people with a big smile as they will suspect that you are trying to win their friendship and/or influence them the beerfree way.
November 16, 2007
This book is a guide to life. I think several people should be required to read this book at least once. Teachers, emotional teenagers, employers, employees, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, politicians etc...
I truly found this book oddly entertaining. Although it is a self-improvement type book, I couldn't put it down. Through the examples of many famous and successful people throughout history, this book teaches us how to work with others and be nice. I sincerely believed that my ability to effectively communicate and work with other people improved exponentially through reading this book and putting what I learned into action.
I love this book and am going to require that my children read it before they get a job, a drivers' license, or a date.
I truly found this book oddly entertaining. Although it is a self-improvement type book, I couldn't put it down. Through the examples of many famous and successful people throughout history, this book teaches us how to work with others and be nice. I sincerely believed that my ability to effectively communicate and work with other people improved exponentially through reading this book and putting what I learned into action.
I love this book and am going to require that my children read it before they get a job, a drivers' license, or a date.
June 30, 2008
Overall:
A well written book with a lot of examples, including many of good folks from the history and many without any citation, but none-the-less seem real. The examples are written so that the message goes across well. Repetition is avoided. The stuff mentioned is pretty obvious and simple, but important and often ignored. Worth reading multiple times as the preface recommends.
TEXT DELETED
105 SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
PRINCIPLE 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
PRINCIPLE 2: Smile
PRINCIPLE 3: Remember that a person鈥檚 name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
PRINCIPLE 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
PRINCIPLE 5: Talk in terms of the other person鈥檚 interests.
PRINCIPLE 6: Make the other person feel important鈥揳nd do it sincerely.
110 You cannot win an argument
Why not let him save his face? He didn鈥檛 ask for your opinion. He didn鈥檛 want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle. Don鈥檛 forget this lesson!
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument鈥攁nd that is to avoid it.
You can鈥檛 win an argument. You can鈥檛 because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will always resent your triumph and 鈥渁 man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still鈥︹€�
112 Which would you rather have, an academic theatrical victory or a person鈥檚 good will? You can seldom have both.
Buddha said, 鈥淗atred is never ended by hatred but by love,鈥� and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation, and a sympathetic desire to see the other person鈥檚 viewpoint.
Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cute the bite.
114 How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:
1. Welcome the disagreement: Remember the slogan, 鈥淲hen two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.鈥� If there is some point you haven鈥檛 thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
2. Distrust your first instinctive impressions: Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not at your best.
3. Control your temper: Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
4. Listen first; Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend, or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don鈥檛 build higher barriers of misunderstanding.
5. Look for areas of agreement: When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.
6. Be honest: Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
7. Promise to think over your opponents鈥� ideas and study them carefully: and mean it! Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: 鈥淲e tried to tell you, but you wouldn鈥檛 listen.鈥�
8. Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest: Anyone who takes the time to adisagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.
9. Postpone actions to give both sides time to think through the problem: Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear to preparation for this meeting, ask yourself some hard questions.
Could my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem or will it just relieve any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponents further away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, what the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?
PRINCIPLE 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
MORE LATER...
A well written book with a lot of examples, including many of good folks from the history and many without any citation, but none-the-less seem real. The examples are written so that the message goes across well. Repetition is avoided. The stuff mentioned is pretty obvious and simple, but important and often ignored. Worth reading multiple times as the preface recommends.
TEXT DELETED
105 SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
PRINCIPLE 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
PRINCIPLE 2: Smile
PRINCIPLE 3: Remember that a person鈥檚 name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
PRINCIPLE 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
PRINCIPLE 5: Talk in terms of the other person鈥檚 interests.
PRINCIPLE 6: Make the other person feel important鈥揳nd do it sincerely.
110 You cannot win an argument
Why not let him save his face? He didn鈥檛 ask for your opinion. He didn鈥檛 want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle. Don鈥檛 forget this lesson!
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument鈥攁nd that is to avoid it.
You can鈥檛 win an argument. You can鈥檛 because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will always resent your triumph and 鈥渁 man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still鈥︹€�
112 Which would you rather have, an academic theatrical victory or a person鈥檚 good will? You can seldom have both.
Buddha said, 鈥淗atred is never ended by hatred but by love,鈥� and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation, and a sympathetic desire to see the other person鈥檚 viewpoint.
Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cute the bite.
114 How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:
1. Welcome the disagreement: Remember the slogan, 鈥淲hen two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.鈥� If there is some point you haven鈥檛 thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
2. Distrust your first instinctive impressions: Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not at your best.
3. Control your temper: Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
4. Listen first; Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend, or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don鈥檛 build higher barriers of misunderstanding.
5. Look for areas of agreement: When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.
6. Be honest: Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
7. Promise to think over your opponents鈥� ideas and study them carefully: and mean it! Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: 鈥淲e tried to tell you, but you wouldn鈥檛 listen.鈥�
8. Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest: Anyone who takes the time to adisagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.
9. Postpone actions to give both sides time to think through the problem: Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear to preparation for this meeting, ask yourself some hard questions.
Could my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem or will it just relieve any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponents further away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, what the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?
PRINCIPLE 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
MORE LATER...
March 15, 2009
Why did I read this book?
We鈥檝e all heard of it. But none of us have ever really read it.
And I know why. It was originally published in 1936. How can it possibly be relevant in 2009?
Plus these types of advice, self-help, new-agey textbooks reek of banal, trite, clich茅d, stereotypical drivel. We鈥檙e too good for that. They seem a little cheesy at least. They鈥檙e all like The Secret, right?
We don鈥檛 want to sip on watered down hotel iced tea and listen to Zig Ziglar. We want to take a toke of a high-grade sativa strain and listen to some Creedence tapes!
Regardless of my skepticism and cynicism, I found How to Win Friends and Influence People to be extremely applicable and relevant.
First of all, a note on the title: 鈥淗ow to Win Friends鈥� is not accurate. It鈥檚 not at all about winning friends in the sense that we modern youths would consider a friend. Carnegie seems 鈥渉ow to win friends鈥� to mean the 鈥渁ccumulation of calculated, beneficial relationships.鈥�
I feel very strongly that 鈥渇riends鈥� are the people we can be dicks to, the people we can get drunk with, yell at, act stupid, and not have to worry about the third of six ways to make people like you (remember their name). Everyone else? Everyone else you鈥檙e actually nice to (bosses, co-workers, certain family members, people you pass on the street) are not friends. Friends are the people you can tell to fuck off and they鈥檒l still drive you to the airport at 6am the next day. This book is how to deal with everyone else with seemingly-obvious principles such as smile, be a good listener, talk in terms of other people鈥檚 interests, and make the other person feel important.
So friends, not so much. But how to influence people, yes.
Carnegie鈥檚 seminal work is packed full of anecdotal evidence illuminating the principle of each chapter and reinforced with a healthy peppering of Emerson quotes:
鈥淓very man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.鈥�
Though written in 1936, HTWFAIF is refreshingly relevant in a modern age marked by the dichotomy between incredible scientific accomplishments, brilliant discoveries, understanding, knowledge, curiosity, but yet a stunted ability to talk and peacefully coexist with those we disagree.
Take, for instance, Carnegie鈥檚 encouragement to dramatize your intentions in order for them to be recognized and accepted:
鈥淭his is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn鈥檛 enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship. The movies do it. Television does it. And you will have to do it if you want attention.鈥�
And on the eighth day, God created cable news.
Carnegie thwarts our skepticism about the nobility of his intentions and promises that he is no self-help scammer, a Kevin Trudeau, Carnegie promises, he is not:
鈥淭he principles taught in this book will work only when they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.鈥�
And for the most part, I have to agree with Carnegie. I like this book. Its advice and suggestions are totally useful and effective. We tend to consider ourselves living in grim times, what with the wars, crumbling economy, job losses, and uncertain future, why not have a little possitivity and engaged enthusiasm for our fellow man?
And Carnegie even foretold a danger in our current time. He warns us of Obama:
鈥淭he ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in the limelight, raises one head and shoulders above the crowd. And the person who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or she really possesses.鈥�
Uh oh.
We鈥檝e all heard of it. But none of us have ever really read it.
And I know why. It was originally published in 1936. How can it possibly be relevant in 2009?
Plus these types of advice, self-help, new-agey textbooks reek of banal, trite, clich茅d, stereotypical drivel. We鈥檙e too good for that. They seem a little cheesy at least. They鈥檙e all like The Secret, right?
We don鈥檛 want to sip on watered down hotel iced tea and listen to Zig Ziglar. We want to take a toke of a high-grade sativa strain and listen to some Creedence tapes!
Regardless of my skepticism and cynicism, I found How to Win Friends and Influence People to be extremely applicable and relevant.
First of all, a note on the title: 鈥淗ow to Win Friends鈥� is not accurate. It鈥檚 not at all about winning friends in the sense that we modern youths would consider a friend. Carnegie seems 鈥渉ow to win friends鈥� to mean the 鈥渁ccumulation of calculated, beneficial relationships.鈥�
I feel very strongly that 鈥渇riends鈥� are the people we can be dicks to, the people we can get drunk with, yell at, act stupid, and not have to worry about the third of six ways to make people like you (remember their name). Everyone else? Everyone else you鈥檙e actually nice to (bosses, co-workers, certain family members, people you pass on the street) are not friends. Friends are the people you can tell to fuck off and they鈥檒l still drive you to the airport at 6am the next day. This book is how to deal with everyone else with seemingly-obvious principles such as smile, be a good listener, talk in terms of other people鈥檚 interests, and make the other person feel important.
So friends, not so much. But how to influence people, yes.
Carnegie鈥檚 seminal work is packed full of anecdotal evidence illuminating the principle of each chapter and reinforced with a healthy peppering of Emerson quotes:
鈥淓very man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.鈥�
Though written in 1936, HTWFAIF is refreshingly relevant in a modern age marked by the dichotomy between incredible scientific accomplishments, brilliant discoveries, understanding, knowledge, curiosity, but yet a stunted ability to talk and peacefully coexist with those we disagree.
Take, for instance, Carnegie鈥檚 encouragement to dramatize your intentions in order for them to be recognized and accepted:
鈥淭his is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn鈥檛 enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship. The movies do it. Television does it. And you will have to do it if you want attention.鈥�
And on the eighth day, God created cable news.
Carnegie thwarts our skepticism about the nobility of his intentions and promises that he is no self-help scammer, a Kevin Trudeau, Carnegie promises, he is not:
鈥淭he principles taught in this book will work only when they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.鈥�
And for the most part, I have to agree with Carnegie. I like this book. Its advice and suggestions are totally useful and effective. We tend to consider ourselves living in grim times, what with the wars, crumbling economy, job losses, and uncertain future, why not have a little possitivity and engaged enthusiasm for our fellow man?
And Carnegie even foretold a danger in our current time. He warns us of Obama:
鈥淭he ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in the limelight, raises one head and shoulders above the crowd. And the person who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or she really possesses.鈥�
Uh oh.
February 22, 2020
I've heard, I wash told, I have read how amazing 'The Book' of Dale Carnegie for years and always wanted to read it. And I finally did. And it came nothing short of living up to the world class reputation it has. Mr. Carnegie explains the concepts behind influencing people, not as a bag of tricks, but as a true way of life. All the chapters contain highly self-explanatory examples to help readers understand each principle. In my opinion, this is one of the books one must read in his or her lifetime, preferably at the earliest.
September 28, 2015
This book presents one of the classic statements of popular psychology oriented around positive self-image, self reliance, and cooperative relationships with others. It is one of the most popular and influential books of its type ever and provided the foundations for contemporary self-help celebrities, such as Oprah Winfrey, as well as much of current motivational and organizational psychology that one finds in current business school curricula.
What to make of it? I tend to side with the critics, who are numerous. It is difficult to argue with the basic points of the book, taken at a surface level. Most people enjoy being respected, agreed with, and successful. Confidence and self-reliance are no doubt important personal characteristics in personal success. Many people do not enjoy conflict or being disagreed with and would prefer instead cooperative relations with others. OK, but so what?
The problem comes once it is realized that Carnegie is highlighting an ambivalence that is inherent in many of our social relationships. On the one hand, we can interact with people on their own terms and without expectations of obligations, duties, or norms of reciprocity. We can deal with and respect people as they are. On the other hand, however, much of what we do in social life involves either trying to accomplish something through other people or having other people trying to use us to accomplish something of importance to them. In trying to balance these two aspects of social relations, most of us become aware of the need to balance. We do not usually treat commercial relationships as close friends. We do not draw up elaborate performance-based contracts with loved ones such as family members. The problem is that people who expect to be treated as independent persons do not appreciate being used by others for some personal end. It is conceptually difficult to see how someone can be both taken authentically and respected as a person while at the same time being viewed as an agent for someone else. Family members and loved ones do not like to be used. Commercial partners do not appreciate being treated as friends when more immediate personal goals were the basis for interactions.
Many adults learn to balance these differing perspectives towards others. Sometimes we treat others at arms length while at other times friendships can develop. Carnegie's classic work calls on the reader to both treat people on their own terms and also to attempt to influence them to get their cooperation in attaining one's objectives. Without more specification of how and where to balance, however, the book becomes a more cynical effort to redefine the problem of positive social relations in the form of a solution -- in order to influence people and get your way, treat them authentically. The rub, of course, is how to go about doing this. It is akin to arguing that the solution to poverty is easy -- just get some money!
The faux sincerity and false positivity in the service of influencing others come across as phony and manipulative after a while. This recalls another old maxim - if something seems to good to be true, it probably is too good to be true. The oversimplified examples and testimonials also get old in a hurry. The reduction of large business enterprises and their managers to a series of positive work interactions with employees is simplistic at well. The details matter, individual skills matter, industry structures matter, history matters. It is nice to imagine that a positive attitude can conquer all and bring one riches. That lets a lot of other factors off the hook for explaining success or failure. But wishing it is so does not make it so. The more I read it, the more it sounds like a text on manipulation and less like an industrial manual.
What to make of it? I tend to side with the critics, who are numerous. It is difficult to argue with the basic points of the book, taken at a surface level. Most people enjoy being respected, agreed with, and successful. Confidence and self-reliance are no doubt important personal characteristics in personal success. Many people do not enjoy conflict or being disagreed with and would prefer instead cooperative relations with others. OK, but so what?
The problem comes once it is realized that Carnegie is highlighting an ambivalence that is inherent in many of our social relationships. On the one hand, we can interact with people on their own terms and without expectations of obligations, duties, or norms of reciprocity. We can deal with and respect people as they are. On the other hand, however, much of what we do in social life involves either trying to accomplish something through other people or having other people trying to use us to accomplish something of importance to them. In trying to balance these two aspects of social relations, most of us become aware of the need to balance. We do not usually treat commercial relationships as close friends. We do not draw up elaborate performance-based contracts with loved ones such as family members. The problem is that people who expect to be treated as independent persons do not appreciate being used by others for some personal end. It is conceptually difficult to see how someone can be both taken authentically and respected as a person while at the same time being viewed as an agent for someone else. Family members and loved ones do not like to be used. Commercial partners do not appreciate being treated as friends when more immediate personal goals were the basis for interactions.
Many adults learn to balance these differing perspectives towards others. Sometimes we treat others at arms length while at other times friendships can develop. Carnegie's classic work calls on the reader to both treat people on their own terms and also to attempt to influence them to get their cooperation in attaining one's objectives. Without more specification of how and where to balance, however, the book becomes a more cynical effort to redefine the problem of positive social relations in the form of a solution -- in order to influence people and get your way, treat them authentically. The rub, of course, is how to go about doing this. It is akin to arguing that the solution to poverty is easy -- just get some money!
The faux sincerity and false positivity in the service of influencing others come across as phony and manipulative after a while. This recalls another old maxim - if something seems to good to be true, it probably is too good to be true. The oversimplified examples and testimonials also get old in a hurry. The reduction of large business enterprises and their managers to a series of positive work interactions with employees is simplistic at well. The details matter, individual skills matter, industry structures matter, history matters. It is nice to imagine that a positive attitude can conquer all and bring one riches. That lets a lot of other factors off the hook for explaining success or failure. But wishing it is so does not make it so. The more I read it, the more it sounds like a text on manipulation and less like an industrial manual.
March 15, 2024
4.0 猸�
GENRE - NON FICTION/SELF HELP.
This book was published in 1936 which makes it quite a old book to read, the author has made a good attempt in explaining how you can actually win friends and influence people with the help of Stories, examples and quotes.
Altough I had too much of high expectations from this book however the points discussed in the book did convince to a great extent what are the important factors to influence the opposite person, I personally facing a lot of issues in relationships due to the bluntness in my speech was able to find answers to a certain extent.
Well it's a self help book at the end of the day, this book shall suit your cause unless and until you honestly accept your shortcomings and practice what has been preached in this book on your surroundings.
Thank you 馃槉
GENRE - NON FICTION/SELF HELP.
This book was published in 1936 which makes it quite a old book to read, the author has made a good attempt in explaining how you can actually win friends and influence people with the help of Stories, examples and quotes.
Altough I had too much of high expectations from this book however the points discussed in the book did convince to a great extent what are the important factors to influence the opposite person, I personally facing a lot of issues in relationships due to the bluntness in my speech was able to find answers to a certain extent.
Well it's a self help book at the end of the day, this book shall suit your cause unless and until you honestly accept your shortcomings and practice what has been preached in this book on your surroundings.
Thank you 馃槉
August 7, 2018
賮賳 丕賱鬲毓丕賲賱 賲毓 丕賱賳丕爻
1- 賱丕 鬲丨賰賲 毓賱賶 丕賱賳丕爻 爻乇賷毓丕 ..丕賱賳賯丿 丕賱賱丕匕毓 賱丕 賷丨亘賴 丕丨丿 賵賷兀鬲賶 亘賳鬲丕卅噩 毓賰爻賷賴
2- 丕賰孬賽乇 賲賳 賰賱賲丕鬲 丕賱孬賳丕亍 賵丕賱賲丿丨 賱賱丌禺乇賷賳 貙 賷丨亘賰 賲賳 丨賵賱賰
3- 賮賰乇 丿丕卅賲丕 賮賷賲丕 賷乇賷丿賴 丕賱丌禺乇 賱丕 賮賷賲丕 鬲乇賷丿賴 丕賳鬲 賵丕賮毓賱賴 貙 囟毓 賳賮爻賰 賲賰丕賳 賲賳 丨賵賱賰
4- 丕賴鬲賲 亘丕賱賳丕爻 賯亘賱 丕賳 鬲胤賱亘 賲賳賴賲 丕賱丕賴鬲賲丕賲 亘賰
5- 丕噩毓賱 丕賱卮禺氐 丕賱丕禺乇 賷卮毓乇 亘丕賴賲賷鬲賴
6- 賲賳 丕賱禺胤兀 丕賳 鬲賯賵賱 賱卮禺氐 丕賳賴 禺胤兀
7- 鬲賵爻賱 亘丕賱乇賮賯 賵丕賱賱賷賳 賵丕亘鬲毓丿 毓賳 丕賱睾囟亘 賵丕賱毓賳賮
8- 丕爻丕賱 丕爻卅賱賴 鬲丨氐賱 賲賳 禺賱丕賱賴丕 毓賱賶 丕賱丕噩丕亘賴 亘賳毓賲 (胤乇賷賯丞 爻賯乇丕胤 )
9- 丿毓 丕賱卮禺氐 丕賱丕禺乇 賷卮毓乇 丕賳 丕賱賮賰乇賴 賴賶 賮賰乇鬲賴
10- 鬲賵爻賱 丕賱賶 丕賱丿賵丕賮毓 丕賱賳亘賷賱賴
11- 丕匕丕 丕乇丿鬲 丕賳 鬲賲賱賰 夭賲丕賲 丕賱賳丕爻 丿賵賳 丕賳 鬲爻卅 丕賱賷賴賲 ..丕匕賰乇 賱賴賲 丕賱丕禺胤丕亍 亘卮賰賱 睾賷乇 賲亘丕卮乇
12- 鬲丨丿孬 毓賳 丕禺胤丕卅賰 丕賵賱丕 賯亘賱 丕賳鬲賯丕丿 丕賱丕禺乇
13- 賯丿賲 丕賯鬲乇丕丨丕鬲 賲賴匕亘賴 亘丿賱丕 賲賳 丕氐丿丕乇 丕賵丕賲乇 氐乇賷丨賴
14- 丿毓 丕賱卮禺氐 丕賱丕禺乇 賷丨鬲賮馗 亘賲丕亍 賵噩賴賴
15- 丕毓乇賮 賳賮爻賰 賵賰賳 賳賮爻賰 賵賱丕 鬲丨丕賵賱 丕賱鬲卮亘賴 亘睾賷乇賰
16- 丕丨氐 賳毓賲 丕賱賱賴 毓賱賷賰 亘丿賱丕 賲賳 丕賳 鬲丨氐賶 賲鬲丕毓亘賰
1- 賱丕 鬲丨賰賲 毓賱賶 丕賱賳丕爻 爻乇賷毓丕 ..丕賱賳賯丿 丕賱賱丕匕毓 賱丕 賷丨亘賴 丕丨丿 賵賷兀鬲賶 亘賳鬲丕卅噩 毓賰爻賷賴
2- 丕賰孬賽乇 賲賳 賰賱賲丕鬲 丕賱孬賳丕亍 賵丕賱賲丿丨 賱賱丌禺乇賷賳 貙 賷丨亘賰 賲賳 丨賵賱賰
3- 賮賰乇 丿丕卅賲丕 賮賷賲丕 賷乇賷丿賴 丕賱丌禺乇 賱丕 賮賷賲丕 鬲乇賷丿賴 丕賳鬲 賵丕賮毓賱賴 貙 囟毓 賳賮爻賰 賲賰丕賳 賲賳 丨賵賱賰
4- 丕賴鬲賲 亘丕賱賳丕爻 賯亘賱 丕賳 鬲胤賱亘 賲賳賴賲 丕賱丕賴鬲賲丕賲 亘賰
5- 丕噩毓賱 丕賱卮禺氐 丕賱丕禺乇 賷卮毓乇 亘丕賴賲賷鬲賴
6- 賲賳 丕賱禺胤兀 丕賳 鬲賯賵賱 賱卮禺氐 丕賳賴 禺胤兀
7- 鬲賵爻賱 亘丕賱乇賮賯 賵丕賱賱賷賳 賵丕亘鬲毓丿 毓賳 丕賱睾囟亘 賵丕賱毓賳賮
8- 丕爻丕賱 丕爻卅賱賴 鬲丨氐賱 賲賳 禺賱丕賱賴丕 毓賱賶 丕賱丕噩丕亘賴 亘賳毓賲 (胤乇賷賯丞 爻賯乇丕胤 )
9- 丿毓 丕賱卮禺氐 丕賱丕禺乇 賷卮毓乇 丕賳 丕賱賮賰乇賴 賴賶 賮賰乇鬲賴
10- 鬲賵爻賱 丕賱賶 丕賱丿賵丕賮毓 丕賱賳亘賷賱賴
11- 丕匕丕 丕乇丿鬲 丕賳 鬲賲賱賰 夭賲丕賲 丕賱賳丕爻 丿賵賳 丕賳 鬲爻卅 丕賱賷賴賲 ..丕匕賰乇 賱賴賲 丕賱丕禺胤丕亍 亘卮賰賱 睾賷乇 賲亘丕卮乇
12- 鬲丨丿孬 毓賳 丕禺胤丕卅賰 丕賵賱丕 賯亘賱 丕賳鬲賯丕丿 丕賱丕禺乇
13- 賯丿賲 丕賯鬲乇丕丨丕鬲 賲賴匕亘賴 亘丿賱丕 賲賳 丕氐丿丕乇 丕賵丕賲乇 氐乇賷丨賴
14- 丿毓 丕賱卮禺氐 丕賱丕禺乇 賷丨鬲賮馗 亘賲丕亍 賵噩賴賴
15- 丕毓乇賮 賳賮爻賰 賵賰賳 賳賮爻賰 賵賱丕 鬲丨丕賵賱 丕賱鬲卮亘賴 亘睾賷乇賰
16- 丕丨氐 賳毓賲 丕賱賱賴 毓賱賷賰 亘丿賱丕 賲賳 丕賳 鬲丨氐賶 賲鬲丕毓亘賰
February 26, 2023
5/5 馃専 Sin dudas una joya de libro, ideal para potenciar o desarrollar tus habilidades blandas, un libro corto pero con un gran potencial para tu vida si aplicas lo ense帽ado! 馃憣
Es de esos libros que cambia tu vida!
Es de esos libros que cambia tu vida!
May 8, 2020
2.5 *
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