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Toilet Quotes
Quotes tagged as "toilet"
Showing 31-60 of 69
“Aru glared. 'Well, you swim in your own toilet!'
The fish did not have an eyebrow to raise villainously. But its tone managed the effect well enough, 'And you'll never know when I use the ocean as a toilet. Enjoy the mystery.'
It flapped its tail and swam off.”
― Aru Shah and the Song of Death
The fish did not have an eyebrow to raise villainously. But its tone managed the effect well enough, 'And you'll never know when I use the ocean as a toilet. Enjoy the mystery.'
It flapped its tail and swam off.”
― Aru Shah and the Song of Death
“There are few moments of clarity more profound than those that follow the emptying of an overcharged bladder. The world slows down, the focus sharpens, the brain comes back on line. Huge nebulous difficulties prove on close calm examination to be merely cloud giants.”
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“I stare past her at the inspirational kitten posters. There's one of a soaking-wet kitten climbing out of a toilet with the caption "it could be worse!"
"Just tell me whatever it is you're thinking," Mrs. Paulsen says. "Whatever is going through your mind right now."
"I hope they didn't actually drop a cat in the toilet to get that picture," I choke out.
"...Pardon?"
"Nothing. Sorry.”
― The World Without Us
"Just tell me whatever it is you're thinking," Mrs. Paulsen says. "Whatever is going through your mind right now."
"I hope they didn't actually drop a cat in the toilet to get that picture," I choke out.
"...Pardon?"
"Nothing. Sorry.”
― The World Without Us
“One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.”
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“bathroom: (n.) where Americans go to argue about gender while the country goes down the toilet.”
― The Angel's Dictionary
― The Angel's Dictionary
“Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers.”
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“Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.”
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“Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he’s up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again..."
"...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?"
"Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!?”
― Hearts Anonymous
"...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?"
"Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!?”
― Hearts Anonymous
“Elena opens the door and yanks me through the house, stopping only when we reach the backyard. She lets me go only to grab the microphone from the lead singer.
"Paco!" she announces loudly. "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you," Elena says, pointing to Paco talking to a bunch of girls. "Next time you want to take a dump, do it in someone else's house."
Paco's entourage of girls backs up and giggles, leaving him alone.”
― Perfect Chemistry
"Paco!" she announces loudly. "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you," Elena says, pointing to Paco talking to a bunch of girls. "Next time you want to take a dump, do it in someone else's house."
Paco's entourage of girls backs up and giggles, leaving him alone.”
― Perfect Chemistry
“our outside loo, known as the Betty, was a good loo; whitewashed and compact with a flashlight hanging behind the door. I smuggled books in there to read them in secret, claiming constipation.”
― Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?
― Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?
“Щоразу, коли в одному з храмів Кіото чи Нари я потрапляю до старосвітньої вбиральні, тьмавої й бездоганно чистої, вкотре подивляю довершеність японської архітектури. Краще від вбиральні пристосовані до душевного спочинку хіба що кімнати для чаювального чину. Несила описати відчуття, коли, віддалившись від головної зали в пропахлий листям і мохом затінок дерев чи просто в дальній кінець коридору, присядеш навпочіпки в напівсвітлі й поринеш у задуму, задивившись на яскраві прямокутники сьодзі чи на сад на подвір'ї, коли стулки сьодзі розсунуті.”
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“MARY: Catherine! Is it necessary to include such a detail?
CATHERINE: Do you expect our readers to believe that we had no bodily needs or functions for entire days at a time?
MARY: No, but such things are simply—unstated. They go without saying.
CATHERINE: It’s very fashionable now to include realistic details, no matter how unpleasant or improper. Look at the French writers. Look at Émile Zola.
MARY: We are not French.”
― European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman
CATHERINE: Do you expect our readers to believe that we had no bodily needs or functions for entire days at a time?
MARY: No, but such things are simply—unstated. They go without saying.
CATHERINE: It’s very fashionable now to include realistic details, no matter how unpleasant or improper. Look at the French writers. Look at Émile Zola.
MARY: We are not French.”
― European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman
“Social networks are so full of wasted time - they could be compared to a waste disposal system. Flush, before you go and waste no time to go.”
― Nothing is here...
― Nothing is here...
“For breakfast to be called ‘in bed� instead of ‘on top of a bed,� the house in which it is about to be eaten has to have at least two rooms (excluding the kitchen); (at least) three, if it has a bathroom.”
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“Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.”
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“I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people’s faeces more disgusting than a bird’s droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all.”
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“The human body is designed in accordance with the laws of nature.
The British left behind their potty which goes against these laws.
It induces constipation, causes fecal stagnation, enlarges the prostate, leads to infection and weakens the muscles of the lower body.”
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The British left behind their potty which goes against these laws.
It induces constipation, causes fecal stagnation, enlarges the prostate, leads to infection and weakens the muscles of the lower body.”
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“We’re more proficient than women at arm wrestling, fresco-painting, ice hockey and particle physics. We make better cabinets, sun decks and booster rockets. We know how to read a map. In the movies, most Westerns and martial arts films would be poorer without our presence. ...So let’s renew our male mission and wear our antlers high on our heads. Let’s stand up straight, aim well, and exercise our prerogative to leave the seat up. After all, we’re MEN, and we hold a proud heritage in our hands.”
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“JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE HOME, THE TOILET IS A PLACE TO BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS AS WELL AS YOURSELF.”
― A Monk’s Guide to A Clean House & Mind
― A Monk’s Guide to A Clean House & Mind
“EVERY TIME YOU STEP INTO YOUR TOILET YOU SHOULD APPRECIATE HOW YOUR BODY IS EXPELLING TOXINS AND WASTE. YOU SHOULD FEEL REFRESHED AND GRATEFUL.”
― A Monk’s Guide to A Clean House & Mind
― A Monk’s Guide to A Clean House & Mind
“The geyser receded, followed by the horrendous sound of water draining down the tunnel, like somebody up on Olympus had flushed the godly toilet.”
― The Demigod Diaries
― The Demigod Diaries
“My response to the COVID-19 toilet paper shortage is to consume so much fiber that my poops come out as dense logs.”
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“The French solved the problem of toilet paper shortages a long time ago and called it the ‘Bidet�.”
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“A toilet paper manufacturer’s worst fear is that the masses will learn how to abstain from toilet paper use during the COVID-19 pandemic.”
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